a little lesson.....sort of like discipline.....
Rules.
1. Stay connected. That means good eye contact, using words to say what you need, telling mom where you are going, etc.
2. No hurts. That means people, toys, yourself......
3. Have fun. That means just that. If someone is not having fun and falling apart, it technically breaks the rules.
When a rule is broken we do a "time in" not a "time out". Time in means on my lap or next to me......until the child can apologize or redo the event or calm down, etc. It is not a punishment. It is not isolating. It is teaching and staying calm and guiding to correct behavior.
It takes a lot of time and patience....and it works. Try it with your child of any age. Explain the rules and what will happen if the rule is broken. Plan to stay attentive to your child for quite a while......and treat it as medicine. It changes things.
Last thought.......say "yes" whenever possible and limit "no" to what really matters.
I didn't make this up. It is research-based and a tested therapeutic technique that help kids who come from hard places but also help toddlers and teens and even me.
There are local therapists who can help for more intense situations. Let me know if you want contact info....but for now, try it on each and any child you spend time with and watch the relationship get better and better.
1. Stay connected. That means good eye contact, using words to say what you need, telling mom where you are going, etc.
2. No hurts. That means people, toys, yourself......
3. Have fun. That means just that. If someone is not having fun and falling apart, it technically breaks the rules.
When a rule is broken we do a "time in" not a "time out". Time in means on my lap or next to me......until the child can apologize or redo the event or calm down, etc. It is not a punishment. It is not isolating. It is teaching and staying calm and guiding to correct behavior.
It takes a lot of time and patience....and it works. Try it with your child of any age. Explain the rules and what will happen if the rule is broken. Plan to stay attentive to your child for quite a while......and treat it as medicine. It changes things.
Last thought.......say "yes" whenever possible and limit "no" to what really matters.
I didn't make this up. It is research-based and a tested therapeutic technique that help kids who come from hard places but also help toddlers and teens and even me.
There are local therapists who can help for more intense situations. Let me know if you want contact info....but for now, try it on each and any child you spend time with and watch the relationship get better and better.
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