He is Greater.....John 3:30 says He must become greater, I must become less"

Did you know that if a child decides to open the sun roof of the expedition (after it sat on the driveway in a snowstorm), snow dumps into the front seat of the car.....all over mom's work stuff?  Yep.  Oh, oh, oh.....and the sun roof won't close again either, until mom drives to dad's work in a huff and gets his help scraping the top of the car. Fun times. Did you know that a 3 year old can call his teen brother a chicken and a girl....and mom will always take his side anyway?  Yep.  In a nerf gun war....the 3 year old will always, always win.  Mom's make sure of it. 

Yesterday, Isaac asked for meatloaf and mashed potatoes.....so today, I made a plan and a trip to the store to make that happen.  I guess I love with food.  I also welcome any dinner requests.  I got the stuff I needed and throughout my work day, got things prepped for dinner. I have a young client who is a teen mama.  She lives with her mom and sisters and some cousins/friends who all contribute to the rent every month.  She has asked me for 2 months, to help find them a bigger home.  They are not US citizens, so its not easy to find homes to rent.  People take advantage.....they have been living in a sub-standard home for awhile.  One reason I like this girl so much is because she KNOWS it it sub-standard.  A series of Christmas events flushed out a home that would be available for rent in January.  I have spent some time this holiday trying to figure out if it was a good fit for my teen mom and her family. Today, at the time of day I am usually at home getting dinner ready and

I just re-read my post from last evening and I marvel at how quickly a mood can change.  Precious came raging in like a tsunami, crashing in on my peaceful reverie......and was totally out of sorts.  We call this dysregulation in our fancy world.....basically she was going berserk and nothing anyone said or did was helping.  Not food, not snuggles, not lavender oil or ipad.......she was just inside out and upside down and I was not prepared for the switch.  I did what any distraught, exhausted mom would do at the end of the holiday week.......I texted my friend who sells essential oils.   RENITA!!!!!!!!!!!! Within minutes, she had whipped up a magic concoction into a pretty little roll-on tube (we call that a roller ball in our fancy world)  She called it "Special Girl roller" and its in a shiney pink tube and includes:  ylang ylang, valor, cedarwood, orange and joy in jojoba oil.  It smells awesome and guess what else.....after 2 applications on her wrists and neck and

I'm sitting  alone in my room after finishing our last Christmas party for 2015.  I am an introvert by nature, so being with lots of people isn't the way I fill my cup.  I enjoy people, and parties, but always feel drained until I can come home and turn down the lights and noise and activity and just settle in peacefully.  As I do this, I can reflect on this amazing holiday season.  God has been so good to me, again and again.  When I think of all the people who gave and received blessings to make this holiday better, I smile.  When I think of how much fun we had shopping and planning and wrapping gifts, doing our special elf game, having the secret santa happen for the school kids......I smile.  When I look back on all of the good food, meaningful time spent together and memories made, I smile.  Jesus' birthday was recounted, and told, and remembered and celebrated and lived out this year, and it makes me smile.  I cried some tears this season as well, and that's ok,

Has anyone else out there had their seasonal temper tantrum/holiday meltdown/falling a part moment yet for Christmas 2015?  Mine came this morning.  I have a feeling I'm mostly talking to all the females out there who are directly involved, if not completely in charge, of all of the holiday festivities.  Everything about the season of Advent and Christmas is wonderful.  I choose how much to do, and can easily choose to do less.  Sometimes I do....less.  As the family grows, there are parts of Christmas that Roger and the children all want to focus on.  It mostly still requires mom to help plan, shop, wrap, prepare things....and with six children in the home this year, my math had to count to 6 for everything.  6 sets of gifts, 6 stockings, etc. ( Grace isn't just here as our foreign exchange student.  She is now in our family.)   My job involves working with families so at Christmas-time, that means more work, not less....delivering packages that generous friends purchase

Here it is......my Christmas song gift from God for 2015.  How do I know this is it?  I will tell you.  For weeks now, I've been feeling like God was nudging me to the song The First Noel.  I hear it often and I get a sense He wants me to listen in.....so I do.  I've even read through the lyrics, wondering what the message is.....I looked up the word Noel and where it came from and what it meant.  I've spent quite a bit of my Advent season considering.....The First Noel. The song is really simple and not very profound.  The first Noel, the angel did say, was to certain poor shephards in fields where they lay......and so it goes, and the jist of it is that It was the first Christmas.  I wondered if God would have me focus on it because of its simplicity, urging me to simplify, and listen, and understand the certainty of the truth of the first Noel......that Jesus came to Earth for us. Today, I was scrolling down facebook, relaxing instead of doing laundry or charting or

It's Friday.  A week away from Christmas.  Folks are starting to freak out.....what's left on the list?  Will the gift arrive in time?  Will the weather cooperate with travellers?  Will the church programs be all we hope?  Will the Christmas cards arrive in the mail?  And so it goes.... In America, especially, we have made this season into something really extravagant.  Mostly, that's not good.  Mostly, its too much and yet we unapologetically do it every year.  For me.......its kinda fun!  I love thinking about how to bless people for Christmas.  Worthy people....needy people....all people.  I stood in my garage today shivering as I watched the poor UPS guy struggle to pull a heavy box out and drag it to our door.  (It wasn't even a gift, folks.  It was about 80 lbs of dog food!  The spendy kind that Roger insists on that we cannot buy in town!".  I thought to myself, "I really wish I had a Christmas gift for this UPS guy.  He's been coming for years..

My Family....

Today, I wondered why we can't either do Christmas Season.....or do "life" as usual.  I think it's unfair to try to do both.  At least for me.  We have teens who are stressed about exams, and tweeners who are busy with ball tournaments and homework, and littles who need to practice reading, and work on wearing pants instead of shorts....and eat healthy food......and a set of parents who have JOBS.....and then we have...... Christmas programs, secret santa gifts that need to be purchased, work Christmas parties, Christmas work schedule for teen, shopping and helping the kids with gifts....and the stocking stuffers.....oh....my.  ( Roger and I tried to eat clean and healthy and failed/dive bombed the exercise part this month...) We get some money from parents for Christmas and I was thinking out loud...., "maybe I'll use my Christmas gift money to have Violetta clean every week instead of twice a month for awhile"....and Roger said, "or.....you

Every year.......I love Christmas.  Fresh and new.....every single year.  I love that Jesus lets us do this big climax of a season, leading up to the designated, if not actual, day of His Birth.  Christian and non-Christian alike.....we all get to do this crazy season every single year.  Trees, lights, food, parties, gifts, music, and everything in between.....every year!  Without the "season" and without the worldly flair, I wonder if I would remember, reverantly, the birth of Christ every year.  I almost think that I would not re-exam it as much.  Thank you, worldly Christmas, for turning my eyes to my Savior ever single Christmas. Every year......I love Christmas spirit.  The festivity, the mercy, the generosity.  Every single year I am blown away by how many people long to help and bless others at Christmas.  I get texts and face book messages and emails, I get stopped in the store and on the street, with inquiries like, "our family wants to bless/adopt/help/s

This was my dinner tonight.  I followed most of my rules for the healthy eating plan I am on:  brown rice, lots of  veggies and fish.  I'm eating it now and it is YUMMY!  It's an eating plan that will hopefully help me lose weight, and also learn portion control, and eat "cleaner".  Here in the Midwest, its hard to eat "clean" and "organic"....since our ground is frozen for a few months every year.....and we have no access to fresh seafood.  My Dutch heritage dictates that most meals have cream soups, cheese, bread......ok.  You get the point.  I'm trying hard.  Roger and I both are!  We just want to eat better....and move more....and be healthier. Can I just say that  the process to that goal is abso-lutely-freakin'-miserable?  I'm busy in my day of driving around the county visiting moms and babies and I'm stinkin/ hungry....and I really want to go to the convenience store for a slice of hot, greasy pizza....and instead I open

Violetta came today.  It's always a good day when she comes.  I told Roger tonight that Violetta wasn't a woman, I might leave him for her......I was kidding of course, but being able to come home from a long day of work to a clean, fresh, and welcoming home is super-awesome.  She only comes every 2 or 3 weeks.....and if I could afford to, I would have her come every week.  Its not just the dusting, and vacuuming and bathroom cleaning.....its the little things that no one here addresses.  Emptied garbage cans.  Dusting under the fire-burning stove and tidying up the wood box.....cleaning out the microwave......picking up all the nerf bullets and dog bones and scraps of paper and broken pencils.......and leaves.....and popped balloon pieces......that exhaust and drain me every single day.  A couple times a month, Violetta does it.  For me.  She even changes the vacuum bag.  Regularly. It takes my full cleaning budget for her to do the main living spaces and bathroom so she do

Today I was remembering my Christmas programs as a child.  Every year, we would sing our Sunday School songs in the church basement.  It was musty and had poor lighting and a badly tuned piano....but we sang on carpet squares every week.  Then we dismissed to our classrooms for our lesson.  Every year, we assembled in the old community center Gym that had once been the high school gym.....and there were rows and rows of folding chairs and a big old wooden stage.....and the smell of chocolate and peanuts.  After the program, the classes dismissed to the outside of the gym and there the teacher had bags of paper bags full of chocolates and peanuts.  Tonight, I am remembering the smell of chocolate, nuts, a dusty gym and my own nerves. All of my life I have loved Christmas.  My parents, even when things were hard, made sure Christmas was good.  I love that....I cherish it.  It matters now that I am a mom myself. Next week is the program at my church for Precious.  The building is dif

Where are the fathers? Yesterday, I scrolled through the Heart Gallery of waiting children in Foster Care.  Many/Most are minorities....and lots of them are older.  The older kids break my heart.  They smile.....and yet I wonder if they are thinking......who would ever choose me?  Breaks.  My.  Heart.  I can't take these kids.  At least, not now.  I have young children still....and that's not safe.  I'm left wondering.....where are their fathers?  Their fathers should have them and care for them and raise them up. Every year, I get a dozen or more requests from young mamas, asking for help to provide "Christmas" for their little ones.  I have very generous and good friends.  Sometimes, my friends' list even super-cedes my "needs" lists....how great is that!  The families who ask for help for Christmas are humble.  Defeated.  Longing for.....special.  Where are the fathers?  They are not there. The fathers are somewhere......somewhere empty and

Ho ho....ba-hum-bug.  It's December 4.   The "ba-humbug" is NOT mine!  But my family....well....maybe. Last weekend, after Thanksgiving, of course, we ventured out to chop down the annual Kredit Christmas tree.  We had fun....but the trees were't great.  They were all smaller than we like.  We finally agreed on one and took it home.  I had purchased a new pre-lit tree for Claire, so once home, that Sunday, in our warm house, she and her friend started decorating hers.  We let the fresh one sit a bit.  Then Roger and I put the lights on.  I took up a box of ornaments and they sat on the coffee table.  For 5 days. Claire and her friend started to decorate hers....and then stopped.  Hers is still sitting in the family room downstairs....undone.  Today, I was finally home after a crazy week of nothing billable.....and alone....I put all the ornaments on the fresh tree upstairs, then set up this artificial one in the basement for the kids.  I asked,  but no one wanted

I had to hunt for baby Jesus tonight.  We went to find our 2015 Christmas tree after church...and lunch out at the Pizza Hut today.   Because we were going out for lunch, I opted to not give Precious her "pill" so that she could enjoy lunch.  Her med that keeps her calm and grounded makes her not hungry.  It's really hard for me to balance the pros and cons of it.   I meant to give it to her after lunch.    Church was hard with P not medicated and Joe being Joe and Roger and Grace both nodding off.., sleepy, ..but we made it through.  We went home and changed clothes and went to lunch.  We all ate alot.  It was yummy and fun and festive.  After lunch we went to the tree farm that is kinda far away, because they are reputed to have great Christmas trees.....We tromped through mud and snow and tree stumps, disappointed because all the trees at the tree farm were SO SMALL this year!  We finally agreed on one and chopped it down.  Precious, without the benefit of her ADHD pi

This is Herb.  I bought him a week ago.  He isn't an herb, actually......meaning he's not like parsley or basil or rosemary, etc.  He's some kind of weird solarium creature who lives in this little glass ball in my family room.  The instructions read to give him lots of sunshine, good ventilation, and a spritzing of water every 2 weeks.  That should be easy but around here.....every 2 weeks could turn into every 2 minutes in the hands of our wild Precious.....or he could lose his safe house/glass dome if the boys' rowdy basketball play goes bad.  Josiah could accidently swipe it off the table when he is swinging his blankie or his ninja sword.....and then there are the dogs and their non-stop badgering and chasing and running.  Oh, poor Herb.  I am so, so sorry.  I should have left you at Walmart on the bottom shelf across from the restrooms where no one noticed you. Herb.  I took you home.  I gave you a name.  I validated you as a living thing....and I will strive t

I am thankful for my wood burning pot-belly stove in winter cold. I am thankful for snow because it is beautiful and when it snows the birds come to my backyard. I am thankful for hot soup and warm drinks. I am thankful for family with familiar hugs and memories and love. I am thankful for pie....and coffee.....and all the joys of food. I am thankful for football and my teen sons who want to sit in the family room and watch with us. I am thankful for toys and books and Ipads and any distraction we own that gives me a few minutes to relax once in awhile.  Oh wait.....I'm not thankful when they cause a mess that I have to clean later. I am thankful that we again have a dishwasher that works. I am thankful for candles burning and essential oils diffusing. I am thankful for my family and friends who help me know who I am. I am thankful for my children who never allow me to be someone I am not. I am thankful for God who is in charge of my life, my days, my hopes, my dreams,

We had our Thanksgiving Eve church service tonight.  I struggled to stay present in the service and listen to the testimonies of God's faithfulness through sickness, loss,and challenge from saints within our church family.  Precious was tired and clingy and hungry and restless.  Josiah was clingy and impatient.....and church was hot.....and I had a hot flash.  Seriously.  Thanks so much biology.  Hot flashes at 7:30 pm, in November, with 2 little children hanging on me.....trying to feel......thankful. I am thankful.  So, so, thankful.  I have so much to be thankful for....and I thank the Lord often for all of my blessings and favor, I do.  Tonight, I sang the songs and prayed the prayers and listened to our pastor's challenge to consider the glass half full, the glass half empty and the cup that runs over. I know my cup runs over.  Every day.  I live the cup that runs over, from the moment I wake up until I fall asleep.  My cup runs over and over and over.....and my jar o

Here is the Monday help for my SCH foster moms and anyone else out there who wants to benefit from what I have learned.  Meltdowns.....they don't make sense.  We cannot determine why they happen, most of the time.  They just do.  In some seasons, they happen all day long and in other seasons, they catch us off guard.  For us, they start with a crabby attitude and then escalate into full blown screaming, crying, storming tantrum.....from a child who cannot articulate what is wrong.  It is a very helpless feeling as a parent.  Often, we handle it wrong.  We yell, we threaten, we lecture, we give ultimatums.....and none of that works.  The storm rages on. Tonight, for me, it happened at bedtime.  Morning, meals, after school, bedtime are definitely the meltdown times.  I was tired tonight.  I had a day.  Precious didn't want to go to bed but she was tired, and not feeling well.  I gave her the choice:  your bed or mine?  and she chose mine and that was ok.  I chose 2 books.  I

I have a china cabinet.  It is an antique, a gift from my Grandma Wilma.  It sits in my dining room where I see it every day.  It is unique, in that it has rounded glass in it.  Often, I gasp in horror if the kids or the dogs bang into it because I don't know if we can even replace this glass in this cabinet. As a child, this cabinet was in my mom's bedroom.  Within it, there were my tea cup/saucer/spoon collection as well as my mom's delicate china.  My grandma bought most of my tea cup/saucer/spoon collection.  My job, regularly, was to take everything out of the china cabinet and dust the shelves and then replace all the pretty things.  I knew that my Grandma meant for me to have the china cabinet.  We had talked about it together....but I don't know if we ever talked about it with.....mom. Once I finally, after 28 years, had my own stable home, I asked my mom for the china cabinet.  It was mine, afterall.  She was aghast.  What?  My china hutch?  No mom.....Gra

Today we braided Precious Maryn's hair.  She has refused braids for a year.  Last year, at this time, we did braids and she had the bad luck of getting head lice from school just before Christmas break....so I paid money for braids that we had to cut out 2 weeks later.  It was aweful.  Holiday nightmare......and she was anti-braids for a long, long time.  Braids hurt the first day or two.....her natural hair is pulled tight into the artificial hair and until it relaxes, its like having your hair pulled.....and for a sensory child......ouch is even more painful. She chose to braid again.....because.....she wants a certain doll for Christmas.....a "just like you" doll....with brown skin and dark eyes and long, straight hair that can be brushed.  She sat for braids.  We all know I will get her the doll....and this girl....oh my.  I do love her so, with short or long hair. Thanksgiving is next week, and Christmas plans are around the bend.  We are talking about wish lists

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

I started today not rested.  A busy dance weekend, and away from home made me feel unsettled and scattered.....and tired.  Violetta was coming to clean today so I spent my first hours home last night trying to clean up so that she could clean.  I actually worked up a sweat,trying to pick up all the piles and shoes and laundry and toys and dog debris.....a then I went to bed.  Today, we started late.  I slept too long.  Grace doesn't have an alarm clock.  Precious had the "monday blues" and Josiah slept in because he was awake way too long last night.   I had a meeting today and it was....well....aweful.  Hard stories came out about people I care about.  I was blindsided and emotional and mad and sad.  I was overwhelmed.....and it wasn't yet noon on monday.  I decided that for today, I was too fragile for the world.  I went home.  My house was clean and fresh and orderly......and it felt like a psalm when I entered into it.  It was peaceful.  It was welcoming.  It

It's mid-week, and I have had a long, long week so far.  I would love to just vent and purge all the details but due to confidentiality, I cannot.  What I can say, is that people need people.  We were not created to live in isolation.  We need each other.  Physically, emotionally, relationally.......we are better in community with one another.  God understands this.  That is why He is a relational God. Today I weighed babies, I delivered food, I counselled, I ate in my car in the freezing rain, I encouraged and affirmed and prayed for families.....because I cannot do it alone, I needed my mom a few times.  She transported a teen mom to an important appointment for me, she picked up my kids from daycare, she played piano and helped Jeremiah with his cello lesson, she sat at the table with me as I read the shopping flier and we talked about food.  We shared a glass of wine. Grace came from her room, and when the house was quiet and Roger had the kids at church and Josiah fell as

Karen Purvis said this, in The Connection, Where Hearts Meet:  "We're going to have to be aware that their brain is housed in their body and the brain can only function to connect to us to the extent that their body is supported." First things First:  Empowering the child. 1.  Offer your child healthy food every 2 hours. 2.  Make sure your child drinks water every 2 hours or so. 3.  Physical exercise is important every 2 hours. 4.  Make sure any sensory needs are met. 5.  Make sure your child is getting enough sleep at night. These are ideals, and goals..and if they are all met, then a child who comes from a hard place, a trauma child, a difficult child should flourish.  I strive fore these 5 every day. But. Reality is that by nature of some children being traumatized, difficult, and from hard places, is that all 5 are impossible some days. My "hard" kids don't want healthy food.  They want junk food, or just sugary drinks.  They don't w

This morning, Claire and Grace and I left town at 6:45 am.  Grace was scheduled for her third SAT exam in Sioux City and Claire unexpectedly had a free day to do some shopping.  She hadn't had her "spoil me" day yet and its so hard to find time for Claire to go anywhere but work or school or dance or friend stuff.....so we seized the moment and Roger stayed home with the rest of the gang. We found everything on Claire's list, I think, plus a few surprises.  Last weekend we de-cluttered her room and made a feeble attempt to spiff it up a bit.  Today, as we were wandering around Target, we found a different bed spread and rug and wall hangings and started working at "growing up" her room a bit. ,  I knew the check-out bill was rising but it was so fun to walk the aisles together and brain storm ideas for her room that she liked and felt good about......as I have written before....we all need that space to call home that makes us feel right.  As the morning

Several times today, I found myself smiling.  The reason is because of a special friend named Donna....and her Shofar.  My friend Donna lives outside the box.....which is why I love her so, so much.  She is counter-cultural, she is deep, she is loving.  She really loves Jesus.  And people.  See why she is my friend?  Anyway, this morning I peeled into a parking spot downtown, running a bit late (for me) for a meeting for work.  I had a full day scheduled.  My friend Donna is a massage therapist and was just heading into her studio, with her daughter who home schools and a basket of clean linens for the work of the day.  She also had her shofar. As I headed into the coffee shop for my meeting, I stopped a moment to greet her and tease her a bit.  Why the shofar, my friend?  Well, because I blow it when I start my day.  It's the year of Jubilee after all.....and I smiled and loved her and walked down the sidewalk and listened as she blew that shofar, right downtown, at 9am. We h

A few years (and tears) ago, we did some therapy with Precious.  It involved the work of Karen Purvis and her Connected Child model, as well as TBRI......which stands for Trust Based Relational Therapy.  Our therapist, Rachel Valentine, is a local expert in both who combines them beautifully.  She works alot with adoptive families but her therapeutic work is also great for anyone who has a child that came from a "hard place" or any trauma in their past. It was a few years ago.....so since then, I have made much of this work part of our daily life here, not just for Precious but for all the kids.  I want to share one of our tools with you all, and maybe it will be helpful to someone else.  Again, this came from research-based experts but this is the life-application/Niki Kredit version......as my disclaimer. Yes vs. No. Hard kids, kids who have hard behaviors, hear "no" alot.  Whether directly or not, much of their day involves a "No" of some kind.  

4 more hours and Halloween is over for another year.  Yep, I do actually count down the hours.  I don't want to make a federal issue out of it, mostly because the darkness of it doesn't deserve that much media attention.....but the day is just a burden to me.  Spiritual warfare is as real to me as dinner on the table and conversation with friends.  The demons would love to make us think that they aren't so bad......by dressing our cute kids up as evil horrific beings on Halloween and going out to beg for candy.  Blech. Because I have this attitude, my kids never get cute costumes.  The early years, when they want to go trick or treating are painful because they don't look "fun".  well.  yeah.  They don't because I hate this holiday and don't want to invest my creative energy, time or money on it!  I set out a bowl of candy every year.....this year not one child came to the door.  There you have it. Roger saved the moment when Precious was unhappy

top ten things that are good about winter: 1.  No need to don a swim suit. 2.  No fruit flies in my wine. 3.  Hoodies. 4.  Christmas. 5.  Earlier bedtime.....sleeping in longer....aka.....longer nights.  (don't judge me.  I have alot of kids) 6.  Boots and scarves. 7.  Chili soup and warm cinnamon rolls. 8.  Holidays and family 9.  Gifts and the spirit of generosity. 10.  Snow.  Yep.  I like it.  It's pretty.

Last weekend, both Isaac and Jeremiah spoke up about "needing" a new coat for winter.  Winter in Iowa is ugly, and brutal, and unpredictable.  We can go days without seeing the sunshine through a thick and cloudy sky.  The wind is like ice.  We see more icy rain than snow some weeks.....and its dark.  The trees are bare.  It is absolutely cold.  For about 4 months. Roger said they should check the closets and storage tubs because they had coats last year.  Jeremiah's eyes welled up with tears.  He really likes new things. He had found a coat on sale....and I wanted him to have it.  I dug up the old coat....that he hates.....and we just moved on.  Isaac forgot he had a winter coat and said he would try it on when we dug it out.  Precious gladly wore last years coat and also tried on one that Jeremiah hated 2 years ago and said that would work.  Josiah loved his walmart coat for $14.99. Grace got in the car for school yesterday and it was 34 degrees out and she shivere

Music.  Late afternoon today I saw this video and was moved by the beauty, the artistry, the passion in it.  I love piano.  I love cello.  I love culture.  I love the new music and I love the old hymns of faith.  I love worship.    Last night I was honored to sit at the Unity Christian High School fall music concert and enjoy band, orchestra, choir and small groups singing.....and it was powerful and it was tender and it was good.  Grace sang and even danced.....Claire played the violin....and Roger stayed home with the rest of the gang cuz high school concerts are not fun with kids who cannot sit.  This morning, I took Precious to the clinic to treat a wart on her knee....for the 4th time in a couple of years.  As we came into the hospital/clinic lobby, I heard beautiful piano music playing and because the lobby is marble/tile/stone, the music echoes everywhere.  As we left the clinic, she was still playing.  I think she was a friend of mine (Susan?) but I didn't get close because

Home.  I may have written about this before but oh well.  I'm thinking about Home tonight so that is what I am writing.  I hope it strikes a cord with someone else out there tonight. Years ago, a therapist friend said something like this:  People who struggle with depression don't seem to have a very good sense of "home".  Conversely, people who know what "home" means to them tend to not struggle with depression.  I have taken this thought further and I do hereby declare that "home" is important for lots of reasons. I had a long work week already this week.  Tonight, I came home around 9pm with Grace after the high school fall concert.  We sent Roger to bed because he had been up since 3am or earlier....and Isaac took Josiah downstairs to wind down.  Claire went from concert to dance.  Precious and Jeremiah were both on sleepovers.  We don't have school tomorrow for the grade school kids due to parent teacher conferences this week (which w

Deep breath. Gulp. Here goes..... Yesterday, a little girl in our community was found unconscious in the morning when her parents went to wake her for church.  They rushed her to the hospital and all of yesterday prayers were lifted up for her, and her family.....through the night, the gates of Heaven were stormed with pleas.  We begged God to save her life, to heal her, to do a miracle.  She was only 4 years old, to my knowledge.  Her parents asked for prayers but declared that God is sovereign in all things, even as her life hung in the balance.  She died today. I had several talks with God about sweet Ava.  He could show off and do a miracle and these people would give Him all the glory forever and ever....they just would.  Our entire community would recognize a miracle and give Him honor for it......and God can do it.  Whenever he wants to.  It was not in His plan to do so today for Ava.  I reasoned it out in my head, I cried it out of my heart, I prayed it through as I dr

This morning in church, a family came to the row in front of us.  Mom, dad, and 3 kiddos.  I didn't know them so I studied them a bit.  Then, Josiah threw a fit, and another fit....and a louder fit...because he is a 2 year old who is potty-training....and willful...and emotional.  I took him out.  Then Precious came out.  I talked Precious into taking Joe to "Little Lambs" but when we got there, he freaked out.  He wants just me.  Night.  and day.  Mom....mom....mom.  but he agreed to let Jeremiah join him in Little Lambs 2 year old church.  Jeremiah is a sweet, sweet boy.  He left church to go help Joe.  I sat back down in our row in church.....20 minutes later. The family ahead of me was snuggling, kids and parents, in that sweet way that keeps children quiet during the sermon.  Pastor said something like this:   "when I was young, we were taught that big boys don't cry".....and the dad ahead of me looked down at the boy lounging on his lap and he said,