He is Greater.....John 3:30 says He must become greater, I must become less"

I missed my 12 days of Christmas post yesterday.  I got groceries in the morning, then took the kids to Walmart ( a bribe for good behavior the past 2 days when I had to work and had no childcare.....so the siblings and nana came to the rescue).  With all of the kids home, there is a constant revolving door on the dishwasher, the fridge and the snack cupboard.  Always cooking.  Always washing.  In the afternoon I worked to keep the wood burning in the fire place because it is just so cold in Iowa this week.  Then we started a puzzle.  Claire bought one with Christmas money at the mall the other day.  She and Roger and I became helpless slaves to it for the remainder of the day.  Hence, no blogs for the 5 Golden Rings.  Oops.  The 5 Golden Rings are said to represent the first 5 books of the Old Testament of the Bible.  Genesis.  Exodus.  Leviticus.  Numbers.  Deuteronomy.  While fixing the puzzle yesterday, Claire told me her teacher had sent her an app to use so that she could read

Ok.....so now that we have come to the four calling birds a.k.a.  the Four Gospels.....I can clearly confess that I don't know my Christian doctrine well enough to be writing about it.  I could do lots of research so that I could teach a scholarly lesson but, lets face it, I don't have that kind of time.  Or gumption.  Today I did 5 visits around 4 different towns and had to make a stop to get a vaccine that was required for my work, and I had to fill up with gas.  The warmest it got today was 16 degrees.....it was cold.  I am tired.  Back to the four calling birds...... Matthew.  Mark.  Luke.  John.  The four gospels all tell the story of Jesus birth and life and death.  They tell it from a slightly different voice and give a few fresh details with each narrative.....Luke was a physician so his story is more detailed.  John had passion......if you know a new Christian, have them start in the book of John when you give them a bible.  Matthew is a favorite of mine....and I do

According to the internet explanations ( if we choose to believe that the 12 days represent 12 different parts of Christianity) the third day is for 3 Christian virtues:  Faith.  Hope.  Charity.  I was reading from a different site that said this is not code for persecuted Christians and that made me crabby because I liked it better when that seemed true.  Don't believe everything you read, folks.  That said, you can believe this.  Three of the hardest virtues to maintain and live by, are faith, hope and charity.  Living a life of faith means not believing in the here and now, not banking on what you can see and sometimes it means if you want to walk on water, you first have to get out of the boat.  Jesus called to Peter to get out of the boat and come to him......if Peter had lacked faith, he would have stayed in the boat and refused.  Faith allowed him to swing his legs over the side of the boat and shift his weight forward and to stand up.  Then he had to move.  Today, the li

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me....two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.  The 2 turtle doves are said to mean the Old and New Testaments of the bible.  I have been a Christian for as far back as I can remember and I am pretty familiar with both the Old and the New Testaments of the bible.  That said, I am no bible scholar.  My summary is that the Old testament tells the stories of the beginning of our faith.....from the first people God created, to the establishment of his people, to the wars and the successes and failures of humanity.  In my humble opinion, God gave His people every chance with free will....and quite possibly determined that we are weak, and flawed and hopeless.....without a savior.  The New Testament is the story of Jesus and how he was born into the world to be the answer to our hopelessness.  God wants us to be reconciled to Him so badly that he sent a son to humanity to understand us and to save us......and the New Testament gi

Today is Christmas day!  We made it everyone.  I hope you all had a blessed day celebrating this significant holiday.  I started my day praying quietly in bed.  I woke up on my own before my alarm, and not due to the voices of any children.......so I laid there a bit longer.  My thoughts drifted to some of the hard things we have faced this past year......and I felt Jesus telling me to just give them to Him.  Lift them up and do not feel their burden any longer.   He wanted my Christmas to be about love and family and blessing......and he was asking to take my heavy  hurts........so because He asked, that is what I did.  Do you know the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas"?  well, we sing this song in our house every holiday season.  My mom collects holiday decorations with this theme......and it is a part of our celebrating.  The song was created, so the story goes, in England during a time of religious persecution when Catholicism was outlawed in the 16th-18th centuries. 

I've written about feeling "Christmas-weary".....and I worked through that.  Then I found myself feeling "Christmas-able" and was able to celebrate that.  Thank you, friends, for reading along.  I would likely write just for myself, but it's fun when someone tells me that I write what they are thinking or feeling.....it spurs me on to share.  Phase 3 this season is.......Christmas-ready. I am quite sure I am Christmas-ready because today I went back to Wal-Mart (AGAIN) for just a few last-minute things......its the mom work.  It's the finishing touches to make sure all the stockings gifts are purchased and come out fair.....and some supplies in case the kids decide to make caramel chex mix over break......and the one item I forgot to get from the grocery list that child #2 specifically requested.  I noticed a few other moms in Wal-Mart today.  They all looked just like me.....checking their lists, walking faster than normal pushing a cart....an occasi

I found a way past Christmas-weary.  I think I want to share it.  My statement about feeling weary of the season was genuine and honest.  The demands of the holidays can be exhausting.  They are especially so if you, like me, don't want to miss anything.  If you don't want to miss anything AND you want to feel deeply moved and inspired by the holiday......well.....that is wearisome.  Because I was honest with my feelings, God heard my whispered lament.  He saw the stress lines on my face and how I rub my forehead when I am thinking hard.... and he heard each one of my deep sighs.  Maybe He smiled.  Maybe He heaved a heavy sigh himself.....but however he responded, He moved for me.  I began to smell the fragrant pine scent of our real Christmas tree.  Some years I cannot smell it past the first day.  As I sit here writing, I am smelling it so strongly and intensely that it makes me smile.  He wants me to know......He wants me to enjoy all of it.  The smell of a fresh Christ

Are you Christmas-weary?  I am feeling just a little bit Christmas-weary.  What does that mean exactly?  I don't really know.  Exactly.  I think its a new term I just now coined.  If you choose to use it, feel free to pay me for the rights to the phrase.  Drop-offs can be made to my mailbox.  Smiles. Christmas-weary......well.  I love my freshly cut Christmas tree......and I got some new decorations for it this year.  They keep sliding off of the long pine needles.  I find them on the carpet and I bend over and pick them up and try to find a new branch to secure them....and I do this every day multiple times a day.  Roger and I were gone tonight.  When we got home, I saw a chewed up cardboard box in the middle of the living room floor.  I asked Roger, "Is that a box you need?  Like, did you order something important"   Christmas-weary means that every day we are getting more and more boxes in the mail.  Some are just household items, and some might be gifts.....only

Christmas is a season of gifts and blessing.  Many respond with a service of giving.  This is my favorite part of Christmas.  Jesus came to earth and the wise men gave Him gifts....and so the tradition says that we give gifts , too.  One story says that there was a saint who went around and blessed children who were orphans and who were poor, etc. with gifts and that his name was St. Nicholas....when my own children ask me if Santa is real I usually talk about things like this.....that the spirit of giving is a part of Christmas and that Jesus himself inspires us to give generously. This week, I learned of a young family that had no food.  I sent out a request on social media to help and 2 friends gave GENEROUSLY....to someone that they, nor I know.  Bags of groceries and diapers and wipes were in my garage and all I had to do was load them up and make a delivery.  My Christmas elves, meaning people in my community, have been asking "is there a family we can bless for Christm

Tomorrow marks the first Sunday of Advent season for 2017.  Advent means "coming" in Latin.  It is the period of four Sundays and weeks before Christmas and in this season, we Christians preparing to celebrate the birth of Jesus.  In church there is a reading from the bible and a candle is lit to honor the process of preparing for the holiday of Jesus' birth.  We sing traditional Christmas carols and songs and we admire the festive decorations and we honor Him.  This is a beautiful season for me.  I love the traditions, the respect and the beauty of the holiday.  I love Christmas.  My children are having a hard time coming up with some gift ideas.  We don't go crazy with gift-giving but we do give gifts.  Tonight Isaac said, "I have everything I need.  I am happy.  There is really nothing I need to ask for."  What a beautiful thing for a 15 year old American kid to say.  His needs are met.  I asked Josiah's half brother what he wanted for Christmas re

Tomorrow is my mama's birthday.  When I think about her, I smile.  She is.....ferocious.  She is captivating.  She is smart and talented and full of compassion.  She is beautiful.  She is a leader and she is a follower of Jesus.  It is an amazing thing, that I was allowed to have her as my mom.  Because she was and is my mom, I have a responsibility in this world.  I need to reach out to all those babies that didn't get what I got when God made her my mom.  She did so much of it right.  My first baby is named after her.  Claire Barbara is named because my mom, Nana Barb, was so happy for me when I got pregnant the first time and started my journey as a mom.  She slept in make-up for many nights because I was overdue.  She knew I would call her when we were ready to welcome our baby into the world.  When Claire was ready to be born, we called her and she was at the hospital in minutes.....in full makeup with lipstick even, so that she could be ready to receive this child.....

Tonight I dropped Claire off at the local college for an overnight/college visit.  She has had 2 college visits before this one and for both of them I felt excited for her, eager to hear her thoughts.  Tonight was different.  I watched her walk toward the student center and my throat got tight.  Tears filled my eyes.  This is really happening now.  We aren't just talking about college visits.  She is making plans to go to college.  She will leave home soon.  I don't want her to go.  I don't want her to stay forever either, but I really don't feel ready to let her go.  I like her.  I like having her around.  I enjoy her presence.  I will miss her so, so much.  When I was her age, it was different.  I wanted to leave and go as far away as I could.  I could not wait to go.  I was in a different place than she is.  I was troubled and hurting.  I didn't know who I was or what I should be doing.  I was not following the Lord.  Claire is.  She so much is following the L

2 Corinthians 10:5 says "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."  I have written about this before but I am doing it again.  In seasons of my life where this tool is needed, I will probably always share it again and again.  I first learned this passage when I was learning about spiritual warfare.  I was reading a book and the author shared this.  He said, when you are feeling attacked in your thought life, take those thoughts captive in obedience to Christ.  I began to use this phrase whenever thoughts popped into my head that were unwelcome and dangerous and negative.  Initially it was hard to form the phrase (because the devil wants it to be hard) and so I had to write it out on paper and then read it to myself when the bad thoughts came to mind......I take these thoughts captive in obedience to Christ........and I would sometimes have to say it over and

November is Adoption Awareness Month.  This weekend we were out of town, in Omaha, which is a larger city.  There is more cultural and ethnic diversity in Omaha.  Sometimes I wish we lived in a place like this, where there were lots of different colors of skin, and lots of different ways to do life.  I think our adopted children would do better if we lived somewhere that had more black people, more mixed racial genetics.....but this is where we are, for now. When we were at the mall, and out for dinner we got plenty of curious looks.  We are a crazy mix of family.  Old parents.  Blond teen-agers.  Dark-skinned littles....and we just do it.  We are family.  This is the mix we were given.  Adoption is a crazy thing.  It is a glorious and beautiful tragedy.   I love our adopted kiddos so much that I wish their birth parents could have stayed the course and parented them.  I do.  I want them to have had that complete experience of growing up with the people who made them.  Because th

Gospel is defined this way:  1.  The teaching or revelation of Christ.  2.  The record of Jesus life and teaching in the first four books of the New Testament.  My little guy Josiah came walking into the dining room today where Claire and I were sitting at the table.  He said, "mom do you know what gospel means?"   I said, yes.  I do.  But tell me.  What does Gospel mean?  and he said, " it means the bible"......and it was so sweet and innocent and honest.  I asked him to go out and come in and say it again so that I could video tape him saying it.  I wanted to remember him asking me if I knew what gospel means......forever.  We video taped it and while he was repeating it and as he was talking he.....tooted.....we got the giggles....then we kept taping and talking and you can see him drooling while he sucked on his squirty yogurt tube.   I asked him where he learned that word and he said"  preschool". In this family, and in this community....you ge

In the world of adoption, there are many different spokes in the wheels.  There are the obvious things, like the birth family, adoptive family, social worker, child, etc.  But folks.....there are so many more moving parts......like the people who walk alongside families to help finance adoption.  Grant agencies.  Private donations. Fund raising efforts.    These are very real and necessary pieces of adoption.  With both of our adoptions, we did not have a nest egg saved up when we began the process.  We were struggling financially, both times.  It seemed crazy that God would nudge us to step out and do the applications, fill out the forms, prepare for the home study visits.....knowing we did not have the money.  In our community, Katelyn's Fund is a huge funding source, giving grants to dozens of families every year.  This fund comes from church donations, fund-raising, private gifts, pumpkin sales, sweet corn sales in July......you name it, they will try it.  There are other re

November is Adoption Awareness Month.  I remember when we were first married we went to Des Moines and toured the capitol building for some reason.  There were Adoption awareness posters and information stands all over the place....and I was so excited to point them all out to my newlywed husband.  See?  See!  He doesn't use as many words as I do in a day.  If memory serves me, he just nodded and said very little.  I'm sure inside of himself he was saying......"here we go!".  November is Adoption Awareness Month.  We recognize orphans and the need for orphan care on Orphan Sunday in November.  Our local support group, Katelyn's Fund, does a fund-raising auction the first Friday of every November.  Adoptive families post photos of their families and recognize the reality of adoption.  We celebrate the beautiful reality of adoption and how we are growing families through adoption.....and we understand the sacrifices made in the name of adoption.  Birth families

Today I went to my local grocery store.  I needed stuff for our week.  Milk and eggs and cheese are always on the list.  Josiah likes to add chocolate and toys because he can use our "Alexa" to add things.  Roger is travelling this next week so our menu changes when he is away.  When Roger is away, we eat lots more chips.  Chips are medicine for Precious.....and indirectly for me, too.  I had a list when I went to the store. As I was checking out, the sweet young girl at the register said, "I think you know my mom".....and so we started to talk.  Usually I don't talk to the check out people because I am preoccupied about how much I spent, or wondering what I forgot, or thinking maybe they are judging me for what I put in my cart.  Stop it.  I know you do it too. My cashier and I agreed that I do know her mom.  She is a foster/adopting mom and a counselor for trauma kids.  I also know her 2 aunties who are a  nurse/missionary (and one of my dearest friends),

I may be coming to the end of my blogging adventure.  I'm not sure but I am beginning to wonder.  Many days, I have things I want to write out.  Good things.  Important things.  I decide at the end of the day to not write them and that makes me sad.  I am afraid that the fear of man and the concern for who will be critical or condemning seems to have taken hold of my writing voice.  God gave me this platform about 10 years ago and I think I have used it as well as I could to give Him Glory.  In this present day in which we live, there are so many harsh and intense political positions and inflammatory arrows being shot around at the far left, the far right, the supporters, the haters.  Most days I don't know what I believe in any more, other than Jesus and how He lived and why He died....and why He rose again from death to take His place in Heaven....I don't know anything safe to stand on except love.  Love always wins.  Social media seems to be taking over the world.....

On this Sabboth day, I have rested.  I took a walk, I took a nap, and I watched some football and some crime drama.  One of the commercials was for the annual Charlie Brown Halloween show.  I do not like Halloween at all, but I do love all things Charlie Brown.  The Charlie Brown episodes of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas are special to me.  I would rearrange my schedule to be home to watch these whenever possible.  They take me back to a sweet  place of childhood.  Simple times, easy answers...... Tonight my childhood best friend called me to ask a simple question.  We don't talk often....but hearing her voice felt like watching Charlie Brown Halloween all over again.  I could pour out my thoughts to her and say things I don't say to anyone I currently see every day.  Childhood is a big deal.  It is a sacred deal.  It is something that matters so much.  It is where memories are made, where ideals are formed, where opinions start.  In childhood, we experience thi

Today I had that day I sometimes write about.  It was mental health day for me....and so long coming.  I didn't get a whole week, like I wanted, but I got one really good day and for now, it is enough.  I will keep trying for the full week. After I got everyone up, dressed, fed, reviewed/edited/encouraged.....I came back home and did a quick pick up, well, it was an hour but whatever.  I made comfort food breakfast:  peanut butter and honey on toast, and good coffee.  I grabbed my bible and left the house.  I shopped at our itty bitty farmers market, which is only going to offer fresh and organic produce for a few more weeks, and got a huge bag of fresh veggies.  That, to me, is mental health.  I feel wellness when I buy local, fresh vegetables, when I check out books at the library, when I wave at my neighbors.....mental health looks lots of different ways.  I drove out of town to a nearby nature park because I felt like God had a story for me and maybe even a word of knowled

I sat with the Lord this morning for a bit.  Not long enough, but awhile.  I had my bible open and was praying/reading/listening which is sort of our thing.  I was trying to settle my heart before I started my week.  Last week I did the same thing, after the insanity of NFL kneel vs. stand....and all the feelings that stirred in me.  Last Monday I did the same thing.  I sat with the Lord until He and I made sense of it and I could start my day.  This week, I sat there, trying to settle the frustration of plans that change.  I had designated this week to time for me.  Exercise.  Cooking.  Cleaning.  Organizing.  Being in my home by myself and doing what felt good.....for me.  Unfortunately, Josiah developed a fever yesterday and had a really long night of coughing and restlessness.  So this morning, I sat with the Lord to reset all my buttons because there would be no personal time today.  I would care for my son at home and because I was exhausted from sleeplessness.......my product

I have been doing some investigating lately.....trying to figure out what the styles will be for fall.  I have not done a good wardrobe overhaul for years and years.  I keep hoping that I can find the right balance to lose the extra pounds I am carrying and I try and try and then nothing changes....and I don't really want a new stylish wardrobe until I have a fresh figure to celebrate....but I am checking anyway.  Once or twice a year, I start to investigate on the internet.....what's in style now?  What is coming for the next season. I'm sure it is a sign of my age, but seriously, you guys......we are going back to corduroy.....and overalls and turtle necks.  Wait till Roger hears about turtle necks....he hated them 20 years ago and I'm guessing he is less of a fan now!  Go ahead.....type in fall fashion 2017 and see what you get.  I don't know if it all looks silly because I WORE IT 20 YEARS AGO!!!!!!!, or because it is just silly.  What is everyone gonna do ne

Lifeline is defined this way in the dictionary: 1.  a rope or line used for life-saving, typically one thrown to rescue someone in difficulties in water or one used by sailors to secure themselves to a boat. 2.  a thing on which someone or something depends or which provides a means of escape from a difficult situation. A lifeline matters in the world today.  In my public health work, I assess this with the families I serve.  I will ask a young mother if she has a lifeline and explain to her what that means.  Far too often, the young stressed and burdened families I visit will say that they do not have a lifeline.  Imagine that.  No one to call out to for help in difficult times.  Nothing to depend on that will rescue them and help them escape hard situation.  No lifeline. Having no lifeline is serious.  It means someone is drifting alone in treacherous water......and that is not ok.  My job, in part, is to help find and secure lifelines for families.....to build connections and

Something has been on my mind today and since I cannot shake it, I think I will write it out.  Maybe it will resonate with someone else in a positive way. I have set up my schedule so that I can be home most days when my children come home from school.  Some of them may stop home for a few minutes and then leave again for an activity.  Some come home and stay home for the day.  My job may be to prepare a sack lunch supper for a teen who has to work or go to dance, or give a ride to another child, or fix a snack....well, lets face it, they all want to eat when they get home......or sit at the dining room table and talk through things. I have done this over and over again....it is sacred space.  It matters so much.   Sometimes I just need to be in the house, not really needed directly but just here.  Present.  I can work from home, start dinner, do laundry, and just be here as the kids run in and out of the house playing with neighbors, needing a drink, whatever. I have made this a

I'm missing my uncle Todd tonight.  I miss him out of nowhere.....as I am doing my day l remember something he said or did.  Tonight I am missing the fact that he thought about me and my family regularly and always wanted to help.  We have had a busy week here . We usually do.  It would have been typical for him to call me on Monday or Tuesday and say, "Hey Nik.....what does your week look like?  Could I make a meal one night to help you out?"  He did that often.  The meal was a blessing and a treat but actually, the thinking of me meant more.  The knowing that it is a lot of work to do life with a busy family, and that it mattered to him to help give me a boost.  I miss his boost.  I miss that he cared.  More than I miss his help, I miss that I mattered to him.  I miss that after I said yes, and we decided on a day, he would call me over and over again to ask questions.  Would the kids eat broccoli?  Which dessert.....peanut butter or mint......beef or pork?  .....he sp

Today I took my turn washing dishes at my kids' school.  I volunteer once a month, along with dozens and dozens of other parents to do all the dishes and it takes about 2 hours.  It is not easy work.....my right arm has a bit of tendonitis from the constant spraying of trays and moving heavy loads across the washing area....well, that and I am getting really old and stiff. Our school has a great team of cooks.  My favorite is our head cook....a sassy red-head named Nancy.  Disclaimer:  I did tell her she was one of my favorite things about school.  She is smart.  She is creative.  She is responsible.  Being the head cook requires broad shoulders......hearing all of the complaints, trying to follow all the regulations and rules......so much pressure and I'm guessing the pay is not relative to the work!  My grandma was also head cook of my high school and she worked very hard.  I remember her feeling so unappreciated by students who would pull their noses up at the food she ma

Today we left home in the morning and drove to Sioux Falls to be a part of serving at The Banquet.  The Banquet is a ministry.....a place where people can come and eat lunch or dinner 6 days a week.  It is run on donations and prayer and volunteerism.  Today our church family took our turn serving.  There were a few dozen of us, ages ranging from 4-70s......and we visited with the guests, ate with them, prayed for them and served them.  4 of my 5 kids were able to join us in this.....and begin to understand what it means to serve.  My older kids have done this for years with my parents .  Roger and I can finally join them again because Josiah is old enough to be there too.  This few hours on this Saturday every year of Labor Day Weekend.....it matters. After The Banquet we drove over to spend some time with a special little boy......we took Oh My! Cupcakes and our play mag set and we talked and snacked and played and went for a hike through trails.  He is important and it felt like

You know how it feels when you set things up to go a certain way and then they go......a different direction?  Sometimes I can feel resilient and adjust.  Sometimes I just have a tantrum......and sometimes, well.....I just get really really salty.  Tonight I'm salty. My mom gave me some corn tortillas she was not going to use and I also had some.  They were left from a meal I made last week and I didn't want to throw them out.  I spent time today looking at recipes to use them.....and I found some good stuff.  Chicken taquitos.....cinnamon and sugar tortilla chips......and I planned a meal for tonight.  I was looking forward to it.  I had saved a lot of my daily calories for this meal......when I began dinner tonight, I quickly discovered that the tortillas were rather stale and didn't roll well....they fell apart before I could put them into the hot oil....and I had a mess.  Dinner plans had to adjust and shift a bit.  I was disappointed and salty. A couple of days ag