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Showing posts from May, 2020

Starting Summer....sort of.

We are about 9 1/2 weeks into the Covid 19 quarantine.  What a crazy season of history we live in.  Sometimes I am standing in the trees, looking up and looking around and thinking to myself, "how did I get here?  how do I get out?  I can't breathe.....I can't think.....I can't see.....I can't do it any more"  and then just a bit later I can stand on the outside of the forest and look at the whole picture and think to myself, "well, this kind of makes sense.....I see purpose here.....I see all the petty, shallow bullshit here.....I am learning lessons here"......And then there are the moments when we watch a video of one of the kids' teachers and I start to cry and I find I cannot stop crying for, like, the whole day.   Unprecedented times.  That's what they say.   Last night I went to bed feeling guilty for all of the yelling and snapping and growling I did during the day.  I cried a lot yesterday.  I sat in my bed and wondered what was goin

an Ode to Mother's Day

If you happen to be lucky and blessed to be a parent, hear this.  I have been lucky and blessed to be a mama for 20 years and counting.  For years I didn't want to be married or have children....until I began to ask God what he wanted for my life.  He wanted me to marry and have children.  Tomorrow is Mother's Day.  This is a day that I have celebrated for so many years.  As a single young adult, I began to remember my mom and step mom for this day and also my heart was burdened for a woman at my church named Janet.  She had a daughter a few years younger than me who died as a teen.  For many years I ordered a corsage for her to wear to church in honor of her daughter....We don't do church corsages any more.  We mostly go to the local greenhouse here and give hanging flower baskets to our moms to enjoy for the spring and summer season.  Sometimes  we give gifts.   Today I drove around the county and delivered simple cards with a small gift card to mothers I work with.  I wi