He is Greater.....John 3:30 says He must become greater, I must become less"

I had to hunt for baby Jesus tonight.  We went to find our 2015 Christmas tree after church...and lunch out at the Pizza Hut today.   Because we were going out for lunch, I opted to not give Precious her "pill" so that she could enjoy lunch.  Her med that keeps her calm and grounded makes her not hungry.  It's really hard for me to balance the pros and cons of it.   I meant to give it to her after lunch.    Church was hard with P not medicated and Joe being Joe and Roger and Grace both nodding off.., sleepy, ..but we made it through.  We went home and changed clothes and went to lunch.  We all ate alot.  It was yummy and fun and festive.  After lunch we went to the tree farm that is kinda far away, because they are reputed to have great Christmas trees.....We tromped through mud and snow and tree stumps, disappointed because all the trees at the tree farm were SO SMALL this year!  We finally agreed on one and chopped it down.  Precious, without the benefit of her ADHD pi

This is Herb.  I bought him a week ago.  He isn't an herb, actually......meaning he's not like parsley or basil or rosemary, etc.  He's some kind of weird solarium creature who lives in this little glass ball in my family room.  The instructions read to give him lots of sunshine, good ventilation, and a spritzing of water every 2 weeks.  That should be easy but around here.....every 2 weeks could turn into every 2 minutes in the hands of our wild Precious.....or he could lose his safe house/glass dome if the boys' rowdy basketball play goes bad.  Josiah could accidently swipe it off the table when he is swinging his blankie or his ninja sword.....and then there are the dogs and their non-stop badgering and chasing and running.  Oh, poor Herb.  I am so, so sorry.  I should have left you at Walmart on the bottom shelf across from the restrooms where no one noticed you. Herb.  I took you home.  I gave you a name.  I validated you as a living thing....and I will strive t

I am thankful for my wood burning pot-belly stove in winter cold. I am thankful for snow because it is beautiful and when it snows the birds come to my backyard. I am thankful for hot soup and warm drinks. I am thankful for family with familiar hugs and memories and love. I am thankful for pie....and coffee.....and all the joys of food. I am thankful for football and my teen sons who want to sit in the family room and watch with us. I am thankful for toys and books and Ipads and any distraction we own that gives me a few minutes to relax once in awhile.  Oh wait.....I'm not thankful when they cause a mess that I have to clean later. I am thankful that we again have a dishwasher that works. I am thankful for candles burning and essential oils diffusing. I am thankful for my family and friends who help me know who I am. I am thankful for my children who never allow me to be someone I am not. I am thankful for God who is in charge of my life, my days, my hopes, my dreams,

We had our Thanksgiving Eve church service tonight.  I struggled to stay present in the service and listen to the testimonies of God's faithfulness through sickness, loss,and challenge from saints within our church family.  Precious was tired and clingy and hungry and restless.  Josiah was clingy and impatient.....and church was hot.....and I had a hot flash.  Seriously.  Thanks so much biology.  Hot flashes at 7:30 pm, in November, with 2 little children hanging on me.....trying to feel......thankful. I am thankful.  So, so, thankful.  I have so much to be thankful for....and I thank the Lord often for all of my blessings and favor, I do.  Tonight, I sang the songs and prayed the prayers and listened to our pastor's challenge to consider the glass half full, the glass half empty and the cup that runs over. I know my cup runs over.  Every day.  I live the cup that runs over, from the moment I wake up until I fall asleep.  My cup runs over and over and over.....and my jar o

Here is the Monday help for my SCH foster moms and anyone else out there who wants to benefit from what I have learned.  Meltdowns.....they don't make sense.  We cannot determine why they happen, most of the time.  They just do.  In some seasons, they happen all day long and in other seasons, they catch us off guard.  For us, they start with a crabby attitude and then escalate into full blown screaming, crying, storming tantrum.....from a child who cannot articulate what is wrong.  It is a very helpless feeling as a parent.  Often, we handle it wrong.  We yell, we threaten, we lecture, we give ultimatums.....and none of that works.  The storm rages on. Tonight, for me, it happened at bedtime.  Morning, meals, after school, bedtime are definitely the meltdown times.  I was tired tonight.  I had a day.  Precious didn't want to go to bed but she was tired, and not feeling well.  I gave her the choice:  your bed or mine?  and she chose mine and that was ok.  I chose 2 books.  I

I have a china cabinet.  It is an antique, a gift from my Grandma Wilma.  It sits in my dining room where I see it every day.  It is unique, in that it has rounded glass in it.  Often, I gasp in horror if the kids or the dogs bang into it because I don't know if we can even replace this glass in this cabinet. As a child, this cabinet was in my mom's bedroom.  Within it, there were my tea cup/saucer/spoon collection as well as my mom's delicate china.  My grandma bought most of my tea cup/saucer/spoon collection.  My job, regularly, was to take everything out of the china cabinet and dust the shelves and then replace all the pretty things.  I knew that my Grandma meant for me to have the china cabinet.  We had talked about it together....but I don't know if we ever talked about it with.....mom. Once I finally, after 28 years, had my own stable home, I asked my mom for the china cabinet.  It was mine, afterall.  She was aghast.  What?  My china hutch?  No mom.....Gra

Today we braided Precious Maryn's hair.  She has refused braids for a year.  Last year, at this time, we did braids and she had the bad luck of getting head lice from school just before Christmas break....so I paid money for braids that we had to cut out 2 weeks later.  It was aweful.  Holiday nightmare......and she was anti-braids for a long, long time.  Braids hurt the first day or two.....her natural hair is pulled tight into the artificial hair and until it relaxes, its like having your hair pulled.....and for a sensory child......ouch is even more painful. She chose to braid again.....because.....she wants a certain doll for Christmas.....a "just like you" doll....with brown skin and dark eyes and long, straight hair that can be brushed.  She sat for braids.  We all know I will get her the doll....and this girl....oh my.  I do love her so, with short or long hair. Thanksgiving is next week, and Christmas plans are around the bend.  We are talking about wish lists

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

I started today not rested.  A busy dance weekend, and away from home made me feel unsettled and scattered.....and tired.  Violetta was coming to clean today so I spent my first hours home last night trying to clean up so that she could clean.  I actually worked up a sweat,trying to pick up all the piles and shoes and laundry and toys and dog debris.....a then I went to bed.  Today, we started late.  I slept too long.  Grace doesn't have an alarm clock.  Precious had the "monday blues" and Josiah slept in because he was awake way too long last night.   I had a meeting today and it was....well....aweful.  Hard stories came out about people I care about.  I was blindsided and emotional and mad and sad.  I was overwhelmed.....and it wasn't yet noon on monday.  I decided that for today, I was too fragile for the world.  I went home.  My house was clean and fresh and orderly......and it felt like a psalm when I entered into it.  It was peaceful.  It was welcoming.  It

It's mid-week, and I have had a long, long week so far.  I would love to just vent and purge all the details but due to confidentiality, I cannot.  What I can say, is that people need people.  We were not created to live in isolation.  We need each other.  Physically, emotionally, relationally.......we are better in community with one another.  God understands this.  That is why He is a relational God. Today I weighed babies, I delivered food, I counselled, I ate in my car in the freezing rain, I encouraged and affirmed and prayed for families.....because I cannot do it alone, I needed my mom a few times.  She transported a teen mom to an important appointment for me, she picked up my kids from daycare, she played piano and helped Jeremiah with his cello lesson, she sat at the table with me as I read the shopping flier and we talked about food.  We shared a glass of wine. Grace came from her room, and when the house was quiet and Roger had the kids at church and Josiah fell as

Karen Purvis said this, in The Connection, Where Hearts Meet:  "We're going to have to be aware that their brain is housed in their body and the brain can only function to connect to us to the extent that their body is supported." First things First:  Empowering the child. 1.  Offer your child healthy food every 2 hours. 2.  Make sure your child drinks water every 2 hours or so. 3.  Physical exercise is important every 2 hours. 4.  Make sure any sensory needs are met. 5.  Make sure your child is getting enough sleep at night. These are ideals, and goals..and if they are all met, then a child who comes from a hard place, a trauma child, a difficult child should flourish.  I strive fore these 5 every day. But. Reality is that by nature of some children being traumatized, difficult, and from hard places, is that all 5 are impossible some days. My "hard" kids don't want healthy food.  They want junk food, or just sugary drinks.  They don't w

This morning, Claire and Grace and I left town at 6:45 am.  Grace was scheduled for her third SAT exam in Sioux City and Claire unexpectedly had a free day to do some shopping.  She hadn't had her "spoil me" day yet and its so hard to find time for Claire to go anywhere but work or school or dance or friend stuff.....so we seized the moment and Roger stayed home with the rest of the gang. We found everything on Claire's list, I think, plus a few surprises.  Last weekend we de-cluttered her room and made a feeble attempt to spiff it up a bit.  Today, as we were wandering around Target, we found a different bed spread and rug and wall hangings and started working at "growing up" her room a bit. ,  I knew the check-out bill was rising but it was so fun to walk the aisles together and brain storm ideas for her room that she liked and felt good about......as I have written before....we all need that space to call home that makes us feel right.  As the morning

Several times today, I found myself smiling.  The reason is because of a special friend named Donna....and her Shofar.  My friend Donna lives outside the box.....which is why I love her so, so much.  She is counter-cultural, she is deep, she is loving.  She really loves Jesus.  And people.  See why she is my friend?  Anyway, this morning I peeled into a parking spot downtown, running a bit late (for me) for a meeting for work.  I had a full day scheduled.  My friend Donna is a massage therapist and was just heading into her studio, with her daughter who home schools and a basket of clean linens for the work of the day.  She also had her shofar. As I headed into the coffee shop for my meeting, I stopped a moment to greet her and tease her a bit.  Why the shofar, my friend?  Well, because I blow it when I start my day.  It's the year of Jubilee after all.....and I smiled and loved her and walked down the sidewalk and listened as she blew that shofar, right downtown, at 9am. We h

A few years (and tears) ago, we did some therapy with Precious.  It involved the work of Karen Purvis and her Connected Child model, as well as TBRI......which stands for Trust Based Relational Therapy.  Our therapist, Rachel Valentine, is a local expert in both who combines them beautifully.  She works alot with adoptive families but her therapeutic work is also great for anyone who has a child that came from a "hard place" or any trauma in their past. It was a few years ago.....so since then, I have made much of this work part of our daily life here, not just for Precious but for all the kids.  I want to share one of our tools with you all, and maybe it will be helpful to someone else.  Again, this came from research-based experts but this is the life-application/Niki Kredit version......as my disclaimer. Yes vs. No. Hard kids, kids who have hard behaviors, hear "no" alot.  Whether directly or not, much of their day involves a "No" of some kind.