December 23: A day for Grace. Not Hechoon Jeung, my Korean senior....but God's Amazing Grace.

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Has anyone else out there had their seasonal temper tantrum/holiday meltdown/falling a part moment yet for Christmas 2015?  Mine came this morning.  I have a feeling I'm mostly talking to all the females out there who are directly involved, if not completely in charge, of all of the holiday festivities.  Everything about the season of Advent and Christmas is wonderful.  I choose how much to do, and can easily choose to do less.  Sometimes I do....less.  As the family grows, there are parts of Christmas that Roger and the children all want to focus on.  It mostly still requires mom to help plan, shop, wrap, prepare things....and with six children in the home this year, my math had to count to 6 for everything.  6 sets of gifts, 6 stockings, etc. ( Grace isn't just here as our foreign exchange student.  She is now in our family.)  

My job involves working with families so at Christmas-time, that means more work, not less....delivering packages that generous friends purchased and wrapped.....  and its fun!  But today, the totality of the season hit me like a 2 X 4........and I became a very angry and ugly human for....well....about 10 minutes.  
In my home.  To my kids.  Lovely, I know.  Then I started to cry and I cried for quite a long time.  My mom happened to call me in the middle of my meltdown and she was gentle and kind and reassuring.   I wiped my tears, took a few deep breaths, and got out of my car since I was sitting in the driveway of my next visit.  I walked up to the door, rang the bell, and proceeded to do the rest of the day.

I'm much more ready for Christmas now that the meltdown is over.  I can see more clearly the beauty around me.  My apologies to my children allows them to see that mom is not a super-hero.  She's just broken, fragile, tired and stressed-out mom.  They have all accepted my apologies.  We are moving on.

If your holiday temper tantrum/meltdown/freak-out moment is still coming, please try and get it over with yet today if possible.  Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and nothing........NOTHING......will stop me from turning my eyes to Jesus tomorrow.  He is the author and perfector of my faith, who, for the JOY set before HIM, endured the cross, scorning the shame to sit at the right hand of the throne of God.  This is Hebrews 12:2.  This is my life verse.  I will wake up and recite it over and over and over and I will do just that.  Turn my eyes upon Jesus.....look full in His wonderful face.......and the things of Earth will grow strangely dim.....in the light.....of His Glory and.........................ssshhhhhh.............grace.

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