when kids come home.....
Something has been on my mind today and since I cannot shake it, I think I will write it out. Maybe it will resonate with someone else in a positive way.
I have set up my schedule so that I can be home most days when my children come home from school. Some of them may stop home for a few minutes and then leave again for an activity. Some come home and stay home for the day. My job may be to prepare a sack lunch supper for a teen who has to work or go to dance, or give a ride to another child, or fix a snack....well, lets face it, they all want to eat when they get home......or sit at the dining room table and talk through things. I have done this over and over again....it is sacred space. It matters so much. Sometimes I just need to be in the house, not really needed directly but just here. Present. I can work from home, start dinner, do laundry, and just be here as the kids run in and out of the house playing with neighbors, needing a drink, whatever.
I have made this a priority even though it would be easier not to. I could make more money and be more productive if I kept strict office hours and worked until 5 or 6pm but in my heart of hearts I know that this matters. Being home and being present when my tribe rolls in and out, it matters. They need this constant, reliable and steady predictability. They need me here. Me here is not an act that gets thanks or applause. It is just the right thing to do. Kids need someone here when they come home from school, from work, from activities. My teen son didn't even say hello when he got home tonight and I let him know that was rude.....and he apologized, saying he was tired, had homework and laundry.....but he darn well knows this.....I. am. here.
I am committed to being here for as much of their coming home as I can because it just matters. I learn things about my child's day when I am here as they come home. I understand if the day was hard, or fun, or stressful and I can parent accordingly. It matters to be home. Home isn't just their address, it is also my presence here.
Not all parents can be home when their kids come in. I get that. I am so, so grateful that most days, I can be. When I cannot be here I try to make sure that my mom is here, or an older sibling is, who understands how we do things.....I'm lucky that way.
If you have a situation that does not allow you to be home when you kids get home, that's ok. Please consider finding a sub. A neighbor, a friend, a sitter, an after-school program that allows for relationships to build between child and provider.....when kids finish their hard and busy day, they need to come to someone and someplace that can listen, connect, and tend to their hearts. All kids need this. The kids that don't get it tend to have trouble......dangerous relationships, risky behaviors, consequences.....some end up on my caseload as pregnant moms......or should be there but refuse because they have trust issues......
Lets try to be part of the health promotion and risk prevention and just build a village of people who kids can safely come home to. Places where kids can drop their backpack and the burden of the day, have a snack, talk to a grown up or older teen, and share a bit of the day. Places where they can relax, laugh, play and feel like they matter in the world, just as they are. These are the kids that can grow to be older teens who will be helpers, encouragers and advocates. They will become adults who will have confidence to be teachers, doctors and nurses, leaders, law-makers. The kids we pay attention to will pay attention to what matters when given the choice. I promise they will.
I have set up my schedule so that I can be home most days when my children come home from school. Some of them may stop home for a few minutes and then leave again for an activity. Some come home and stay home for the day. My job may be to prepare a sack lunch supper for a teen who has to work or go to dance, or give a ride to another child, or fix a snack....well, lets face it, they all want to eat when they get home......or sit at the dining room table and talk through things. I have done this over and over again....it is sacred space. It matters so much. Sometimes I just need to be in the house, not really needed directly but just here. Present. I can work from home, start dinner, do laundry, and just be here as the kids run in and out of the house playing with neighbors, needing a drink, whatever.
I have made this a priority even though it would be easier not to. I could make more money and be more productive if I kept strict office hours and worked until 5 or 6pm but in my heart of hearts I know that this matters. Being home and being present when my tribe rolls in and out, it matters. They need this constant, reliable and steady predictability. They need me here. Me here is not an act that gets thanks or applause. It is just the right thing to do. Kids need someone here when they come home from school, from work, from activities. My teen son didn't even say hello when he got home tonight and I let him know that was rude.....and he apologized, saying he was tired, had homework and laundry.....but he darn well knows this.....I. am. here.
I am committed to being here for as much of their coming home as I can because it just matters. I learn things about my child's day when I am here as they come home. I understand if the day was hard, or fun, or stressful and I can parent accordingly. It matters to be home. Home isn't just their address, it is also my presence here.
Not all parents can be home when their kids come in. I get that. I am so, so grateful that most days, I can be. When I cannot be here I try to make sure that my mom is here, or an older sibling is, who understands how we do things.....I'm lucky that way.
If you have a situation that does not allow you to be home when you kids get home, that's ok. Please consider finding a sub. A neighbor, a friend, a sitter, an after-school program that allows for relationships to build between child and provider.....when kids finish their hard and busy day, they need to come to someone and someplace that can listen, connect, and tend to their hearts. All kids need this. The kids that don't get it tend to have trouble......dangerous relationships, risky behaviors, consequences.....some end up on my caseload as pregnant moms......or should be there but refuse because they have trust issues......
Lets try to be part of the health promotion and risk prevention and just build a village of people who kids can safely come home to. Places where kids can drop their backpack and the burden of the day, have a snack, talk to a grown up or older teen, and share a bit of the day. Places where they can relax, laugh, play and feel like they matter in the world, just as they are. These are the kids that can grow to be older teens who will be helpers, encouragers and advocates. They will become adults who will have confidence to be teachers, doctors and nurses, leaders, law-makers. The kids we pay attention to will pay attention to what matters when given the choice. I promise they will.
Comments
Post a Comment