winter Sunday
I started a Sunday School class around the book The Connected Child.....Karen Purvis is an expert in the field of sensory problems and kids from hard places and how to parent better. We studied her therapies (and use them) 2 years ago, but this is a good refresher for me. It applies to all parenting, not just the hard kid in the house....One of the key concepts is to connect more than we correct. Meaning, be present and attentive to my kids more than scolding and reprimanding them. It's more work to parent this way but it also happens to be more fun! well. sometimes.
Today, Precious started her "what are we gonna do today" mantra about 5 minutes after returning from church. We hear this all day every day.....especially if we have a down weekend (which is rare). Roger and I just wanted to relax at home and nap and read....and Precious was bouncing and whining and moving......she doesn't need to relax as much right now. So. We went to the pool. Everyone but Claire. Including me. This was an epic event in our family. Usually, Roger goes and I do not because I detest the indoor pool. I love outdoor pools and lakes and rivers and oceans and I really, really, really dislike indoor pools. On steroids.....this looks like a Sunday afternoon, in February in Iowa.....with all the other families who are going stir crazy with cabin fever.
I didn't want to wear a swim suit when I am 40 lbs overweight. I didn't want to hear screaming and whistles and water fountains and noise and chaos.....the pool is cold. Kids splash. In summary.....I, in my person, was miserable.
On the contrary......I, in my family, was in Heaven. The connected parent in me, was thrilled to watch Precious and her little friend Miley zip down the tunnel slide and jump off the diving boards. Josiah and I practiced the "kick and paddle" and he jumped to me from the side and we bounced together in the deep. Dad got sleepy in the hot tub....but he was there. He was present and he was connected to us all. The boys played and jumped and swam and entertained the little ones and when we loaded up to go home they said, "thank you!"
I made a healthy dinner of baked salmon and sauteed spinach with kale......and of course some instant mashed potatoes and fish sticks for the little people. For the past 15 minutes, I've been on the couch with the fire blazing, the kids settled and sleeping (well, not Josiah) and Lexi just voluntarily went to her crate for the night.
Connected parenting is less selfish but it does have its rewards. It's good to keep learning, I think.
Today, Precious started her "what are we gonna do today" mantra about 5 minutes after returning from church. We hear this all day every day.....especially if we have a down weekend (which is rare). Roger and I just wanted to relax at home and nap and read....and Precious was bouncing and whining and moving......she doesn't need to relax as much right now. So. We went to the pool. Everyone but Claire. Including me. This was an epic event in our family. Usually, Roger goes and I do not because I detest the indoor pool. I love outdoor pools and lakes and rivers and oceans and I really, really, really dislike indoor pools. On steroids.....this looks like a Sunday afternoon, in February in Iowa.....with all the other families who are going stir crazy with cabin fever.
I didn't want to wear a swim suit when I am 40 lbs overweight. I didn't want to hear screaming and whistles and water fountains and noise and chaos.....the pool is cold. Kids splash. In summary.....I, in my person, was miserable.
On the contrary......I, in my family, was in Heaven. The connected parent in me, was thrilled to watch Precious and her little friend Miley zip down the tunnel slide and jump off the diving boards. Josiah and I practiced the "kick and paddle" and he jumped to me from the side and we bounced together in the deep. Dad got sleepy in the hot tub....but he was there. He was present and he was connected to us all. The boys played and jumped and swam and entertained the little ones and when we loaded up to go home they said, "thank you!"
I made a healthy dinner of baked salmon and sauteed spinach with kale......and of course some instant mashed potatoes and fish sticks for the little people. For the past 15 minutes, I've been on the couch with the fire blazing, the kids settled and sleeping (well, not Josiah) and Lexi just voluntarily went to her crate for the night.
Connected parenting is less selfish but it does have its rewards. It's good to keep learning, I think.
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