the glory of God.....part 3... a hard day of adulting
Today was one of those days where you think things will go one way and they just go somewhere else. It was kind of like a day at Mall of America. You walk out of a store and struggle to remember which direction you were headed......and where to go next. It was a very Wednesday,-ish Wednesday I guess.
The little kids were feeling the same way. They didn't have daycare today, or a play date, or a plan. I was hoping to work from home most of the day. Precious biked to the library and came home with 8 chapter books. She asked me if there was anything she could do to earn some money. I said, "well Precious, I will pay you a dollar a book if you read all those books". She sat down to read.
Josiah asked if he could do a lemonade stand. Sigh. In my head (and maybe out loud) I said I didn't want to do a lemonade stand. We didn't have supplies or a plan. No one comes past our house and if they do they drive so fast they would never see little kids set up at the curb. The neighbor girls who are 4 and 2 wanted to do a lemonade stand, too.
I need to pause this post now to go and deal with a meltdown.....because 30 minutes to create and post a blog is apparently more that I can take right now. sigh. Glory to God in the highest....and peace on Earth.....goodwill toward men(mom). (I need a vacation. I need a vacation. I need a vacation.)
Well. That only took about 4 hours. Parenting is so hard. Parenting kids who struggle with trauma and sensory issues and other hard stuff is absolutely exhausting. I'm not feeling any of those feel-good thoughts right now.....the ones that say things like "God won't give you more than you can handle" etc. I'm sure God is with me in these hard days of parenting. Only by His grace would I even step forward into it......but I'm tired. He never gets tired. I'm flawed. He is perfect. I make mistakes. He never ever does.
God doesn't ever lecture me or threaten me with restrictions or groundings or give me hard ultimatums for my behaviors. He is patient and kind. His lessons make sense and he gives me so many chances over and over and over. When He does discipline me it is with calm intention and it is for the purpose of teaching and not punishing. I trust His wisdom. I trust His rules. I trust His plan for me.
I want to be a parent like God is. I want to be all of those things that I just rattled off.....and not the tired, stressed, mistake-ridden mama that I show up to be every day. To God be the Glory in parenting today and every day. I pray His glory will spill over into the hearts of my kids and that they will see Him and not me each day as they grow up. Glorify yourself, in me and in my home, God. Make it more of you and less of me. Please.
We did the lemonade stand. More than a dozen thoughtful people stopped for a glass of crystal lite and a cookie and made these little kids beam with delight and affirmation. Collectively they earned $18.50. I split it 4 ways and they each took their cut with pride. We aren't donating the funds this time. They get to count their coins and their 4 dollar bills and dream of what to spend it on. They get to wonder at how to do it bigger and better next time. When they ask I will try not to say no even if I don't want to do it. I will help them make the sign again and mix the drink and set out the table and I will laugh again as they do their thing and yell "customer! customer!" and scramble to find napkins and pour drink for the generous souls who make them feel important.
If you see kids along the curb selling lemonade....please stop. I try to as often as I can. I will try harder from now on. Stop for their sense of self-worth. Stop for their mothers who are maybe tired and watching from the window, hoping that the lemonade stand will keep them entertained.....maybe until school starts in a few weeks. We are running out of ways to keep these kids busy.
The little kids were feeling the same way. They didn't have daycare today, or a play date, or a plan. I was hoping to work from home most of the day. Precious biked to the library and came home with 8 chapter books. She asked me if there was anything she could do to earn some money. I said, "well Precious, I will pay you a dollar a book if you read all those books". She sat down to read.
Josiah asked if he could do a lemonade stand. Sigh. In my head (and maybe out loud) I said I didn't want to do a lemonade stand. We didn't have supplies or a plan. No one comes past our house and if they do they drive so fast they would never see little kids set up at the curb. The neighbor girls who are 4 and 2 wanted to do a lemonade stand, too.
I need to pause this post now to go and deal with a meltdown.....because 30 minutes to create and post a blog is apparently more that I can take right now. sigh. Glory to God in the highest....and peace on Earth.....goodwill toward men(mom). (I need a vacation. I need a vacation. I need a vacation.)
Well. That only took about 4 hours. Parenting is so hard. Parenting kids who struggle with trauma and sensory issues and other hard stuff is absolutely exhausting. I'm not feeling any of those feel-good thoughts right now.....the ones that say things like "God won't give you more than you can handle" etc. I'm sure God is with me in these hard days of parenting. Only by His grace would I even step forward into it......but I'm tired. He never gets tired. I'm flawed. He is perfect. I make mistakes. He never ever does.
God doesn't ever lecture me or threaten me with restrictions or groundings or give me hard ultimatums for my behaviors. He is patient and kind. His lessons make sense and he gives me so many chances over and over and over. When He does discipline me it is with calm intention and it is for the purpose of teaching and not punishing. I trust His wisdom. I trust His rules. I trust His plan for me.
I want to be a parent like God is. I want to be all of those things that I just rattled off.....and not the tired, stressed, mistake-ridden mama that I show up to be every day. To God be the Glory in parenting today and every day. I pray His glory will spill over into the hearts of my kids and that they will see Him and not me each day as they grow up. Glorify yourself, in me and in my home, God. Make it more of you and less of me. Please.
We did the lemonade stand. More than a dozen thoughtful people stopped for a glass of crystal lite and a cookie and made these little kids beam with delight and affirmation. Collectively they earned $18.50. I split it 4 ways and they each took their cut with pride. We aren't donating the funds this time. They get to count their coins and their 4 dollar bills and dream of what to spend it on. They get to wonder at how to do it bigger and better next time. When they ask I will try not to say no even if I don't want to do it. I will help them make the sign again and mix the drink and set out the table and I will laugh again as they do their thing and yell "customer! customer!" and scramble to find napkins and pour drink for the generous souls who make them feel important.
If you see kids along the curb selling lemonade....please stop. I try to as often as I can. I will try harder from now on. Stop for their sense of self-worth. Stop for their mothers who are maybe tired and watching from the window, hoping that the lemonade stand will keep them entertained.....maybe until school starts in a few weeks. We are running out of ways to keep these kids busy.
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