Two Turtle Doves

 December 15.  This morning I was driving to a meeting and thinking about generosity.  I had just finished filling my car with gas because it always seems to be empty these days as I travel around the county for work....and gas prices continue to go up so I am either filling my gas tank or paying the gas bill.  I remembered a time long ago, when I stood at a gas tank in California on a Sunday morning.  I was dressed for work and on my way to my job at a department store.  I needed gas to make it the rest of the way so I stopped but found out I didn't have any money to pay for the gas.  Back then, in the 1990s, you could pump your gas before you paid for it, even in southern California.  I was flustered, panicked and overwhelmed.  Someone noticed.  Someone generous noticed and paid for my gas.  I remembered telling him if he wrote down his name and number I would pay him back but he said no thanks, it was fine, he would just help me out.  Relief flooded over me.  In a cold sweat, I got back in my car, went off to work and all was well.  

Here's the thing.  I did not deserve this stranger's generosity that day.  I was not worthy of it because I had been wronged or harmed in some way.  I had not lost my wallet, etc.  I had been up too late partying all weekend and acting out, being irresponsible.  I was living wild and untamed and unaccountable and irresponsible and I knew better.  I had been raised to behave better and to be more prepared for my responsibilities and yet there I was.....stuck.  Alone.  

Generosity didn't judge me or weigh my worth before it paid my gas bill.  It didn't ask me a bunch of questions to decide if I deserved its blessing that day.....it just helped me along and didn't look back, didn't expect a pay back or even a thank you.....it just did what it does......

I would like to think about generosity this way more often.  It is easy to quantify it, to measure it, to decide who deserves it, who qualifies to offer it or receive it.....but seriously, i's not just for the rich to offer to the poor.  Generosity is not selective or prejudice or exclusive, at least it shouldn't be by definition.  It should just be.....generous.