Butterflies in the Wind
Today I was thinking about my daughter. I had made a plan to meet with her teachers and support staff at school to discuss her learning plan. We do this a couple of times a year to make sure that she has all the help she needs at school to do well. I was eagerly anticipating this meeting because once we met I would feel much less anxiety about her school days. I would have assurance that the people who guide and teach her also understand her and maybe, just maybe, that they would understand me too.
I got to the meeting and we were chatting, waiting for one of the professionals to arrive. I found myself remembering what life was like 10 years ago when she came home as a newborn. She didn't sleep. She fussed and fretted. She needed a ton of support every day and we had to just learn as we lived each day. I have learned a lifetime of lessons about the brain, the body, the soul and attachment from this kiddo. I was trying to figure out how to describe how her brain works, so that her teachers could get a glimpse of understanding.
Her brain is like butterflies in the wind. This is what I was thinking about today, as I was preparing for the meeting. Her brain moves so fast, and is so unbelievably beautiful and intricate and delicate and majestic. Her brain is amazing and mysterious and unpredictable and worthy of respect. The butterflies, they fly and flutter and lift and dip and the wind takes them here and there.....sometimes they land and sometimes they float......just like her thoughts.
I did my best to convey this to the team today and I think I succeeded. We ended the meeting all loving her and feeling a fresh challenge to understand and equip her in learning and in life.
Butterflies in the wind.......
I also attended some meetings today about estate planning and creating a will and such.....and I spent some time thinking about what we are leaving as a legacy to our children and someday our children's children. I had a dinner conversation about dying and tombstones and cremation vs. traditional burial. I said that I would like to be cremated and scattered and that unfortunately there are not many pictures of me in the world because I am the one who takes them all.....so someday I may just be a mystery, a vague presence that some people remember but not others....(.I hope I am a mystic,) actually. Anyway.....it brought back my image of butterflies in the wind......
I think my life is kind of like butterflies in the wind. It is beautiful and tragic, fragile and magical. It is fleeting and unpredictable and it definitely doesn't look good on an investment portfolio or trust fund plan.....but the wind.....that's where the real story is. The wind that blows the butterflies here and there, up and down, giving direction and sometimes allowing chaos.....the power of that wind.....now that gets my attention.
Because I am Christian and can only make sense of things in Jesus' name.....I am going to settle on this: God's Holy Spirit is in the wind. The butterflies that He created can be in the wind and if He is the wind......then everywhere they go and in whatever direction they move......it is in the plan. When my days are wild and crazy and make no sense.....when I feel like a ship out at sea fighting storms.....when I am trying to understand my child's mind......when I settle in a still and quiet place for a moment or two......I can say yes and amen to butterflies in the wind.
Tomorrow, just maybe, the butterflies will settle on a blooming flower or blade of grass. Maybe the Presence of God will be different. Maybe I will feel it in a billowy cloud, or the snuggle of a baby, or a whisper of His voice as I read the bible or hear a worship song.....maybe it will be on a walk ( oh please let me find time to walk tomorrow) or at the end of yet another busy and crazy demanding day.....or maybe the wind will pick up again.....either way. I will be yearning and longing and watching and waiting with each breath of the day.
I got to the meeting and we were chatting, waiting for one of the professionals to arrive. I found myself remembering what life was like 10 years ago when she came home as a newborn. She didn't sleep. She fussed and fretted. She needed a ton of support every day and we had to just learn as we lived each day. I have learned a lifetime of lessons about the brain, the body, the soul and attachment from this kiddo. I was trying to figure out how to describe how her brain works, so that her teachers could get a glimpse of understanding.
Her brain is like butterflies in the wind. This is what I was thinking about today, as I was preparing for the meeting. Her brain moves so fast, and is so unbelievably beautiful and intricate and delicate and majestic. Her brain is amazing and mysterious and unpredictable and worthy of respect. The butterflies, they fly and flutter and lift and dip and the wind takes them here and there.....sometimes they land and sometimes they float......just like her thoughts.
I did my best to convey this to the team today and I think I succeeded. We ended the meeting all loving her and feeling a fresh challenge to understand and equip her in learning and in life.
Butterflies in the wind.......
I also attended some meetings today about estate planning and creating a will and such.....and I spent some time thinking about what we are leaving as a legacy to our children and someday our children's children. I had a dinner conversation about dying and tombstones and cremation vs. traditional burial. I said that I would like to be cremated and scattered and that unfortunately there are not many pictures of me in the world because I am the one who takes them all.....so someday I may just be a mystery, a vague presence that some people remember but not others....(.I hope I am a mystic,) actually. Anyway.....it brought back my image of butterflies in the wind......
I think my life is kind of like butterflies in the wind. It is beautiful and tragic, fragile and magical. It is fleeting and unpredictable and it definitely doesn't look good on an investment portfolio or trust fund plan.....but the wind.....that's where the real story is. The wind that blows the butterflies here and there, up and down, giving direction and sometimes allowing chaos.....the power of that wind.....now that gets my attention.
Because I am Christian and can only make sense of things in Jesus' name.....I am going to settle on this: God's Holy Spirit is in the wind. The butterflies that He created can be in the wind and if He is the wind......then everywhere they go and in whatever direction they move......it is in the plan. When my days are wild and crazy and make no sense.....when I feel like a ship out at sea fighting storms.....when I am trying to understand my child's mind......when I settle in a still and quiet place for a moment or two......I can say yes and amen to butterflies in the wind.
Tomorrow, just maybe, the butterflies will settle on a blooming flower or blade of grass. Maybe the Presence of God will be different. Maybe I will feel it in a billowy cloud, or the snuggle of a baby, or a whisper of His voice as I read the bible or hear a worship song.....maybe it will be on a walk ( oh please let me find time to walk tomorrow) or at the end of yet another busy and crazy demanding day.....or maybe the wind will pick up again.....either way. I will be yearning and longing and watching and waiting with each breath of the day.
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