a Happy Birthday to my husband......I don't do Halmark cards but I do this.
Today is my husband's 50th birthday. Once upon a time, if it was your 50th birthday a big party was expected and everyone said you were "over the hill" and came dressed in black.....but we didn't do that for my 50th. We went out for supper, we enjoyed each other as a family, and we relaxed. I am an introvert so that was perfect for me. I'm not a good party planner so we didn't do the traditional 5-0 for Roger either. Sorry, hun. Because it was a Sunday we did go to church together, and Roger's parents came for the weekend. We went out for lunch. He got to watch football and nap on the couch. We were all home together.....which never happens. Claire and Jonah and Rick and Barb were with us for lunch and then came over tonight for dinner......I think it was a nice day. I hope he feels loved and validated. For me, that is a birthday well-spent. If you end your special day feeling loved and important and noticed and affirmed.....that your place in the world matters.....then that's a good birthday.
Just in case the food and gifts and celebrations didn't completely get him to that point, maybe this will.
I have been thinking about Roger's 50th birthday for awhile. I have done the math and I have been contemplating this. We met when he was 25 and married when he was almost 27....He has been with me for half his life. He has called me, dated me, and eventually come home to me every single day for half his life. He is committed. He is responsible and he is often selfless. He has had many opportunities to go and do other things but has chosen to come home to me every single day for 25 years.
I'm not an easy person to live with. I am moody and sometimes downright difficult. I ache for things I cannot fix or change and I am porous in my boundaries.....work comes home and home comes to work.....I give money away likes it's Christmas whether we can pay our bills or not.....and I came into this thing with a lot of baggage too. He came with a history of an intact family and happy memories and a textbook classic TV perfect childhood. I came with other stuff. Yet and still.....25 years......
Because of his quarter of a century investment in me and in our life together.....I have been thinking that as an act of gratitude and love and humble adoration of who he is.....I want to commit to trying hard to not be difficult any more. I want to commit to trying to spend the next 25 years lifting him up, being more helpful and less whiney. I want to reward his commitment with my words of affirmation and dedication to him as his partner in life, for better and worse. As we get older I am preparing for things to get worse.....and that's ok.
Until worse shows up.....I want to make our good better. I want his best moments of the day to be the ones he spends with me. I want him to feel special and important and content......and I will keep working on what I can do better on my end to make it so. Feel free to hold me accountable and keep me to my promises....because I am sure there will be days that I don't try so hard. But this guy....well....he is pretty amazing. He deserves my best. With God's help I will give it to him for the next 25 or how ever long we get together......
Happy Birthday Roger Kredit. I thank God for the gift of you.
Just in case the food and gifts and celebrations didn't completely get him to that point, maybe this will.
I have been thinking about Roger's 50th birthday for awhile. I have done the math and I have been contemplating this. We met when he was 25 and married when he was almost 27....He has been with me for half his life. He has called me, dated me, and eventually come home to me every single day for half his life. He is committed. He is responsible and he is often selfless. He has had many opportunities to go and do other things but has chosen to come home to me every single day for 25 years.
I'm not an easy person to live with. I am moody and sometimes downright difficult. I ache for things I cannot fix or change and I am porous in my boundaries.....work comes home and home comes to work.....I give money away likes it's Christmas whether we can pay our bills or not.....and I came into this thing with a lot of baggage too. He came with a history of an intact family and happy memories and a textbook classic TV perfect childhood. I came with other stuff. Yet and still.....25 years......
Because of his quarter of a century investment in me and in our life together.....I have been thinking that as an act of gratitude and love and humble adoration of who he is.....I want to commit to trying hard to not be difficult any more. I want to commit to trying to spend the next 25 years lifting him up, being more helpful and less whiney. I want to reward his commitment with my words of affirmation and dedication to him as his partner in life, for better and worse. As we get older I am preparing for things to get worse.....and that's ok.
Until worse shows up.....I want to make our good better. I want his best moments of the day to be the ones he spends with me. I want him to feel special and important and content......and I will keep working on what I can do better on my end to make it so. Feel free to hold me accountable and keep me to my promises....because I am sure there will be days that I don't try so hard. But this guy....well....he is pretty amazing. He deserves my best. With God's help I will give it to him for the next 25 or how ever long we get together......
Happy Birthday Roger Kredit. I thank God for the gift of you.
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