health and some scripture
I left a meeting today, well, a "conversation" about assessing the strengths and barriers and possible interventions regarding our community and the ability to access mental health services. I love that I live in a community that cares about this and that wants to improve. Social diseases and community deficits and potential threats and opportunities for Holistic health are the nursing world I live in. Families and children are my why.
I left the meeting to go to the hospital because Jeremiah had a follow- up appointment after his surgery last Friday. Not gonna lie, it has been a rough road to healing for my boy. The surgery was a big deal and the surgeon was amazing. He explained today how he opened up the fracture and had to rotate the ulnar bone to get it to lock in. He put a plate in there and screwed it in place and that plate will have to come out in 6-12 months when he is satisfied with the positioning and in a season without a contact sport for Jeremiah. ( good grief.) We felt complete confidence in his knowledge and his plan, in spite of our sweet boy's obvious pain and misery.
As the surgeon and his nurse were casting Jeremiah's arm I commented that it must be nice to work in a field where you can see the problem, know exactly what to do, and fix the problem. The doctor agreed with me. He said that was exactly why he chose orthopedic medicine. Bones break and bones can heal and often, that is the case. Public health is different. The definition of health always changes, and people also come with so many suitcases of baggage and experience and perceptions and needs.
After the appointment I had to do a home visit with a young family. We sat at the kitchen table and talked about how things were going with the parents, the child, the extended family, etc. We laughed and we remembered things that had happened over the past 2 years of our experience together. I cast a vision for this young mother about what life could look like 2 years from now and how we probably won't be doing visits anymore then. Quietly, she reminded me that she knew she could still call me and we could talk (because I promised her that more than once) and I agreed and reinforced that truth. I'm not going anywhere. This is my community. These are my people.
This morning I had some unexpected time at home. That is such a gift. I made an insanely perfect cup of coffee in a mug that makes me think of really happy memories. I sat in my favorite chair, an old rocker that was gifted to me by my step-mom's parents' home. I rocked and I took a few deep breaths. I opened my bible to Psalm 139 and I read and I sat and I listened and I prayed. I cannot do a surgery and fix many of the problems I encounter every day. I cannot offer absolute assurance that the things I do will make a problem go away. I am not an orthopedic surgeon. I am just me. Doing what I do.
I'll keep doing me. You do you.
Psalm 139: You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. (my favorite part of the passage) Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too loft for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; (....even the darkness will not be dark to you..........) the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes say my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand-when I awake, I am still with you. If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! (for me, its my thoughts, and all of the negative crap I have to deal with too) They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. (here is the kicker....get ready....) Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139. Words to live by.
I left the meeting to go to the hospital because Jeremiah had a follow- up appointment after his surgery last Friday. Not gonna lie, it has been a rough road to healing for my boy. The surgery was a big deal and the surgeon was amazing. He explained today how he opened up the fracture and had to rotate the ulnar bone to get it to lock in. He put a plate in there and screwed it in place and that plate will have to come out in 6-12 months when he is satisfied with the positioning and in a season without a contact sport for Jeremiah. ( good grief.) We felt complete confidence in his knowledge and his plan, in spite of our sweet boy's obvious pain and misery.
As the surgeon and his nurse were casting Jeremiah's arm I commented that it must be nice to work in a field where you can see the problem, know exactly what to do, and fix the problem. The doctor agreed with me. He said that was exactly why he chose orthopedic medicine. Bones break and bones can heal and often, that is the case. Public health is different. The definition of health always changes, and people also come with so many suitcases of baggage and experience and perceptions and needs.
After the appointment I had to do a home visit with a young family. We sat at the kitchen table and talked about how things were going with the parents, the child, the extended family, etc. We laughed and we remembered things that had happened over the past 2 years of our experience together. I cast a vision for this young mother about what life could look like 2 years from now and how we probably won't be doing visits anymore then. Quietly, she reminded me that she knew she could still call me and we could talk (because I promised her that more than once) and I agreed and reinforced that truth. I'm not going anywhere. This is my community. These are my people.
This morning I had some unexpected time at home. That is such a gift. I made an insanely perfect cup of coffee in a mug that makes me think of really happy memories. I sat in my favorite chair, an old rocker that was gifted to me by my step-mom's parents' home. I rocked and I took a few deep breaths. I opened my bible to Psalm 139 and I read and I sat and I listened and I prayed. I cannot do a surgery and fix many of the problems I encounter every day. I cannot offer absolute assurance that the things I do will make a problem go away. I am not an orthopedic surgeon. I am just me. Doing what I do.
I'll keep doing me. You do you.
Psalm 139: You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. (my favorite part of the passage) Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too loft for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; (....even the darkness will not be dark to you..........) the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes say my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand-when I awake, I am still with you. If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! (for me, its my thoughts, and all of the negative crap I have to deal with too) They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. (here is the kicker....get ready....) Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139. Words to live by.
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