attachment parenting
Recently, a friend asked me if I had any parenting advice. She said she felt like I had really good kids and wondered if I had any tips or secrets. I agreed that we do have really, really good kids. They are kind and respectful. (at least they better be.....if not someone better let me know) In the moment, the only advice I could think of was to be present. To be available and mostly home when they leave and when they come back in. Be at their events and be at the dinner table. Cook food and serve it to them, even if its just one at a time sometimes.....but other than being present and home, I have considered something else that I think makes a difference.
Attachment parenting. You can google it and look up definitions. It includes all of the definitions you can read but it also includes much more. The essence of attachment parenting is to be in tune with your child, to pay attention to their cues and their needs and their emotions and to parent them responsively. This came naturally for me, by the grace of God. It doesn't come naturally to everyone but attachment can be earned. It can be learned. It can start wherever you are. It doesn't have to start at birth.....but it can start from the moment a woman learns she is pregnant. And it should.
Attachment parenting is my passion. It gets my pulse racing and my heart pounding. It gives me warm fuzzies and also deep sorrow......it is the hardest way to parent and it creates the best version of human beings this side of heaven. Attachment parenting is costly and exhausting. When a child has not been parented this way it is heart-breaking because they grow up different.
Occasionally I get inquiries about specific situations that fall under attachment parenting and I always respond to them. It is that important to me. A child's mental and emotional well-being are as important if not more so, than their physical health. Our children are our future teachers and bankers and preachers and lawyers and governors and presidents. They are our greatest inheritance and investment. They deserve to be raised in the best way possible.
Attachment parenting can include, but is not limited to any of the following......breastfeeding, making homemade baby food, baby massage, wearing a baby in a sling or wrap, co-sleeping, gentle discipline and not harsh punishment, being very selective about child care, lots of time listening and talking, child-led play, sensory rich positive experiences such as pumpkin patch visits, apple orchard visits, childrens museums, expensive dance and tumbling classes, buying costumes for the fun of it, letting them eat Doritos and taco meat for breakfast for days and days, reading lots of books to your kids, saying sorry when you mess up as a parent, sitting at the table for a long time talking, being available at 11pm to warm up food, bringing pain medicine to high school, listening, praying, laughing, tickling, savoring the childhood moments that pass by so fast and not feeling sad when they have passed by. Attachment parenting is being fully present in as many moments as you can.....and knowing you did your best. Attachment parenting is selfless, it is costly, it is so hard. It gives generous margin for error and apology and a chance to try again......from the adult twice as often as from the child.
Attachment parenting creates children who want to sit and talk to you, who share their struggles, who know that if they cry a hug will follow. It creates children who want to do well in school and other activities because they feel worthy of doing well, and want to challenge themselves to do their best. It creates children who can be good friends. It creates children who may grow into adults who will seek out relationships that allow them to be healers and helpers and lovers......and not just relationships with people who benefit them.
Attachment parenting is the way God himself parents us. He is ever-present. He can anticipate our need. He is always reaching out His mighty hand to us.....and offering us opportunities to learn and grow and be challenged. It is the way for me to be the best child of God I can be, to sit at His feet and to spend time with Him and to talk for hours and hours with him at my table, to cry and know He will comfort me, to make irrational demands and have him smile at me and say, sure thing hunny. Eat the Doritos and taco meat for breakfast as many days as you need to. It's all good. God gives me new mercies and fresh starts every single day. I owe it to my tribe to do the same for them.
If you want to grow as a parent and/or as a child of God, attachment parenting is a good place to start. There has been lots of research and literature printed about it. If you have questions or want to discuss it more, reach out to me. It is, after all, my favorite topic.
Attachment parenting. You can google it and look up definitions. It includes all of the definitions you can read but it also includes much more. The essence of attachment parenting is to be in tune with your child, to pay attention to their cues and their needs and their emotions and to parent them responsively. This came naturally for me, by the grace of God. It doesn't come naturally to everyone but attachment can be earned. It can be learned. It can start wherever you are. It doesn't have to start at birth.....but it can start from the moment a woman learns she is pregnant. And it should.
Attachment parenting is my passion. It gets my pulse racing and my heart pounding. It gives me warm fuzzies and also deep sorrow......it is the hardest way to parent and it creates the best version of human beings this side of heaven. Attachment parenting is costly and exhausting. When a child has not been parented this way it is heart-breaking because they grow up different.
Occasionally I get inquiries about specific situations that fall under attachment parenting and I always respond to them. It is that important to me. A child's mental and emotional well-being are as important if not more so, than their physical health. Our children are our future teachers and bankers and preachers and lawyers and governors and presidents. They are our greatest inheritance and investment. They deserve to be raised in the best way possible.
Attachment parenting can include, but is not limited to any of the following......breastfeeding, making homemade baby food, baby massage, wearing a baby in a sling or wrap, co-sleeping, gentle discipline and not harsh punishment, being very selective about child care, lots of time listening and talking, child-led play, sensory rich positive experiences such as pumpkin patch visits, apple orchard visits, childrens museums, expensive dance and tumbling classes, buying costumes for the fun of it, letting them eat Doritos and taco meat for breakfast for days and days, reading lots of books to your kids, saying sorry when you mess up as a parent, sitting at the table for a long time talking, being available at 11pm to warm up food, bringing pain medicine to high school, listening, praying, laughing, tickling, savoring the childhood moments that pass by so fast and not feeling sad when they have passed by. Attachment parenting is being fully present in as many moments as you can.....and knowing you did your best. Attachment parenting is selfless, it is costly, it is so hard. It gives generous margin for error and apology and a chance to try again......from the adult twice as often as from the child.
Attachment parenting creates children who want to sit and talk to you, who share their struggles, who know that if they cry a hug will follow. It creates children who want to do well in school and other activities because they feel worthy of doing well, and want to challenge themselves to do their best. It creates children who can be good friends. It creates children who may grow into adults who will seek out relationships that allow them to be healers and helpers and lovers......and not just relationships with people who benefit them.
Attachment parenting is the way God himself parents us. He is ever-present. He can anticipate our need. He is always reaching out His mighty hand to us.....and offering us opportunities to learn and grow and be challenged. It is the way for me to be the best child of God I can be, to sit at His feet and to spend time with Him and to talk for hours and hours with him at my table, to cry and know He will comfort me, to make irrational demands and have him smile at me and say, sure thing hunny. Eat the Doritos and taco meat for breakfast as many days as you need to. It's all good. God gives me new mercies and fresh starts every single day. I owe it to my tribe to do the same for them.
If you want to grow as a parent and/or as a child of God, attachment parenting is a good place to start. There has been lots of research and literature printed about it. If you have questions or want to discuss it more, reach out to me. It is, after all, my favorite topic.
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