Resentment is unattractive.

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I heard this phrase as I was in a quiet place of worship and listening this morning.  I think it was God, speaking to me in my spirit;  quietly, but firmly.  Resentment is unattractive.  I have been feeling, well, resentful, lately.  Resentful of women who get to stay home and care for their children and household, and not go to work....resentful of women who are thin and fit.....resentful of families with less financial hardship.....resentful of so many things.....

I understand thankfulness, and I strive for it.  Resentment is so much easier....and lately I have slipped down the easier slope.  Resentful that Claire cannot join a team praying against human trafficking next month, because I didn't know how to register her in time.....resentful that I feel like a bad parent most of the time.....resentful that my job seems impossible lots of days.....

Blah blah blah blah blah.......blah.........blah.

I think that today, the Lord had had enough.  Tired of my shallow, petty, worldly measure.....tired of my whining......unlike me, He didn't yell or threaten or throw a fit.  God is the perfect Father.....and quietly, peacefully, He whispered this to me:  "Resentment is unattractive."

For me, tonight, at the end of a really stressful work week, and challenging "mom" week.....God is saying that He measures my attractiveness differently.  He doesn't care so much about whether my home is clean and orderly, or that our household runs with discipline and structure.  He doesn't so much care if I am fit and thin, that we have cash in hand......that our kids have all their dreams come true......and even when I screw up and show my weakness and flaws....He doesn't even see that as unattractive......

Resentment is unattractive.

So......I think this means that God wants me to be attractive.....to Him and to others.  Not by worldly standards and measure.....but in Eternal Things......so tomorrow I will strive to wake up and relinquish my resentment......in Jesus' name.  I will choose Thankfulness, and Grace, and I may need to read Song of Solomon because I do know that God is my Beloved.....and if He is trying to make me beautiful I should maybe consider His love song.

For tonight, I will quiet myself before Him, even in my broken, flawed, lacking self.....and go to sleep knowing that the Creator of the Universe has an opinion on what is attractive in me.  Whoa.  Seriously.



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