a pity party.....and a word from God......
Isaiah 55:9; "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." The essence of this verse is ringing in my ears tonight. I'm scrolling through facebook looking at all the darling pictures that other dance moms posted of their dancing teen and her smiling daddy.....and playing the videos from all their phones that show their dancing duo....but not mine. Why don't I have my own? Well. I had a very over-tired 3 year old who was hanging on me, flopping on the floor, begging for food and pop and generally being miserable.....all night long. Sadly, it never even occurred to me to break away and go find the dancers who were rehearsing. What's wrong with me, anyway! How did all the other dance moms get back there and I didn't notice? Darn it.
I didn't want to leave the game early because it was a close game with home town rivals/friends.....and our team was fighting hard......and I had all I could do to keep the little kids in check. Precious had a rough start but then found some friends and disappeared. I just thought over and over that I should know by now to just get a frickin' babysitter if I want to do things at night. Followed by the......oh yea......there is no one to do that job, really. My big boys aren't quite old enough, and besides that, they have homework and ball practice.....we don't have much for extended family in town.....its just hard.
God knew long ago that our family would be less typical. He always knew that we would have an age span of 13 years, making parenting just a bit beyond the definition of "challenging". His ways are higher than my ways, and his thoughts higher than mine. Because this is true, I shall not presume to think or act for Him regarding tonight. I'll just have my little pity party and put it to bed.......I defer to His authority and hope that I will gain much forgiveness and grace in this family. I just come up short for them......all the time......because there are just too many.....to always get there.....for each of them.
Claire tells me that she plans to get married and have kids when she is younger. She doesn't want to be an old mom. (um. thanks.) I tell her she better hope God reveals her husband early then because it took until age 26 for me to find the guy that I could marry and have a family with.....and another 5 years to start growing that family. God had different ways and thoughts for me. I don't get to be the young, fashionable, fit and put-together mom of my teen dancer who gets all the great photos and has all the friends gathered around me at the game. I'm the awkward, frumpy, over-weight mom standing in the doorway while her youngest kid throws another major fit cuz he didn't nap today and he wants more candy and he isn't home settling in for bed.
God's ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts greater than mine.....so I can only deduce that these things don't matter as much to him. Truthfully, accepting that wisdom is really hard....and scary.....cuz it could mean it won't get better for me, at face-value.
As you can tell, this is a bit of a late-night, end of the week pity party.....,..don't feel like you have to join me here and don't read if you don't want to. This post is mostly just for me anyway.
His ways, His thoughts......His ways, His thoughts........His ways, His thoughts.......moving forward.
I didn't want to leave the game early because it was a close game with home town rivals/friends.....and our team was fighting hard......and I had all I could do to keep the little kids in check. Precious had a rough start but then found some friends and disappeared. I just thought over and over that I should know by now to just get a frickin' babysitter if I want to do things at night. Followed by the......oh yea......there is no one to do that job, really. My big boys aren't quite old enough, and besides that, they have homework and ball practice.....we don't have much for extended family in town.....its just hard.
God knew long ago that our family would be less typical. He always knew that we would have an age span of 13 years, making parenting just a bit beyond the definition of "challenging". His ways are higher than my ways, and his thoughts higher than mine. Because this is true, I shall not presume to think or act for Him regarding tonight. I'll just have my little pity party and put it to bed.......I defer to His authority and hope that I will gain much forgiveness and grace in this family. I just come up short for them......all the time......because there are just too many.....to always get there.....for each of them.
Claire tells me that she plans to get married and have kids when she is younger. She doesn't want to be an old mom. (um. thanks.) I tell her she better hope God reveals her husband early then because it took until age 26 for me to find the guy that I could marry and have a family with.....and another 5 years to start growing that family. God had different ways and thoughts for me. I don't get to be the young, fashionable, fit and put-together mom of my teen dancer who gets all the great photos and has all the friends gathered around me at the game. I'm the awkward, frumpy, over-weight mom standing in the doorway while her youngest kid throws another major fit cuz he didn't nap today and he wants more candy and he isn't home settling in for bed.
God's ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts greater than mine.....so I can only deduce that these things don't matter as much to him. Truthfully, accepting that wisdom is really hard....and scary.....cuz it could mean it won't get better for me, at face-value.
As you can tell, this is a bit of a late-night, end of the week pity party.....,..don't feel like you have to join me here and don't read if you don't want to. This post is mostly just for me anyway.
His ways, His thoughts......His ways, His thoughts........His ways, His thoughts.......moving forward.
Um..... Aunt Jen lives close:-) And you are an awesome mom and are investing in kingdom thing. That, my friend is what matters. And your kids see that.... Someday they will be 30 and have kids of their own, and you will be able to see the difference that you made:-)
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