april 2023 Aware

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 It's the last day of April.  In keeping with my current plan, I'm remembering my word for the year, and reflecting on the past month.  It is so easy to dwell on the problems of the day, or worry about the future....but it is important for me to pause here on the last day of April and just honor the month that has past.  

April helped us move out of the bitter cold and extreme temps of March.  There were some sunny, warm and lovely days and there were som windy, cold and dreary days.  April always brings drizzle to IOwa....a cold, icy, rainy kind of thing that is not pleasant at all  unless one is at home, under a blanket watching Food Network or reading a bood.  

April summoned me to see that the end of the school year is coming soon....and we began to plan for the summer things.  Sports camps, bible camps, daycare for the extra Kredits that remain with us for now, and which aspects of the pool and yard need to be dealt with first.  Spring is a beast in our backyard with much clean up and repair work and sweat equity....but the weather of April usually prevents us from getting much of it actually done.  May is right around the corner.  

April celebrated Easter but the same weekend Jeremiah crashed on his snowboard severely breaking his arm.  It was stressful and fearful and tragic.....and we flew him home Easter morning so that he could have surgery that week.  2 days later was his 19th birthday.  It was not the birthday he wanted but for this mama, to be able to see him and hold him and know that he would heal was worth everything.  April also brought my birthday around again!  I decided to embrace 55 with all the love and gratitude I can find.

I'm not going to color my hair.  At least not for awhile.  I want to see what the natural grays will look like.

I'm not going to worry about fashion trends.  I'm going to wear what I like and what makes me feel like me.  

I"m not going to get any plastic surgery or extra work done on my skin.  At least not for awhile  I have wrinkles and unfortunately they are the frowny kind, not the smiley kind.  I wish I had the smiley ones but I don't smile enough.  Perhaps it is because I sit with so much sad.  I'm ok with that, too.  

I'm not going to make a bucket list but I am going to lean into a quiet whisper to write more.  I can make time for that because at 55 I don't know what kind of time I have left so I want what I have to matter.  

April got me out walking dogs again when the temps got closer to 50.  I love to walk but I am a fair weather walker I'm afraid.  

April put seeds on the trees and my lilac bush is getting bloomier every day.....I cannot wait to see the lavender flowers and fill my house with the scent.  April is springtime and new beginnings every year.  I am aware of the newness of April and abundantly, extravagantly, presently aware.  

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