Uncomfortable
This morning we attended a church service that we try to do every year. It is the annual Orphan Sunday service at First Reformed Church here in town, and we go as a part of the community that is Katelyn's Fund. If you want any more info on this ministry please let me know or just google it. When we began our adoption journey 10 years ago we reached out to Katelyn's Fund to help with the financial burden....and we also received emotional and relational support from this group. Our daughter Claire joined the Katelyn's Fund family independently when she went on a trip to Haiti to meet and interact with the kids and staff of One Vision Children's Home, whom KF supports. She met Withney there. He is a little boy that came into care.....and needed sponsorship. We have been his sponsor for 3 years now.
Roger couldn't come with us this time because he was home with a nasty virus. My big man-cub boys have come to this service for at least 9 years, so they knew we would go....and the little kids don't always remember until we get there, but then they say "oh yeah! I remember this now!" and we gather in the fellowship area with other adoptive and fostering families and the board of directors of Katelyn's Fund. We all go into the worship sanctuary together and we worship and sing and pray and stay in a sacred moment that is reserved for those of us who have said "yes" to this thing. This adoption and foster thing...this orphan support thing....this very uncomfortable thing.
It is very uncomfortable. Today, when we filed in, we happened to go 3 rows from the front which is never. ever. my plan. We entered a row and another family entered from the other side....so we shared. But we had Me, Josiah, Precious, Jeremiah, Isaac, Claire and Jonah (her boyfriend). We were squished. I was in the middle of the row in the front third of a very packed church. I was UNCOMFORTABLE. I tend to get hot flashes presently. I am also very paranoid about getting sick because my husband is sick. I fought waves of heat/nausea problems as we entered into worship. I got some brief moments of relief.....followed by fresh....threats. I didn't know what to do. About 40 minutes into the service I leaned down to Josiah who was slammed against me due to pew crowding....and I said, "hey buddy? want to go out with me and go to the bathroom?" I was hoping he was either A: tired of sitting or B: actually had to go. I've been at this parenting thing for about 20 years now.....he said "sure!" so we made an awkward exit and an uncomfortable trip past the hundreds of worshippers.......
I decided I don't have many years left to have a little one come out with me as my patsy so that I can escape uncomfortable things. I'm glad I had one today. We both went to the bathroom and then finished the service out in the lobby area until it was time to finish the service. We went back in and sang the songs, shared the prayer and stood on the stage with my tribe minus Roger who was watching on livestream under his blanket at home.
Adoption is uncomfortable. It just is. It is noble and it is a calling from God for sure....but it is as uncomfortable as I was sitting in row 3 with a 5 year old pressed against me with the wiggles. Fighting waves of hot flashes and questionable nausea. Telling family you plan to adopt is uncomfortable. Asking for financial help is uncomfortable. Preparing your home and your hearts is uncomfortable. Sitting through hours of home study and medical exam and other invasive policies is uncomfortable. Receiving a child is also.....uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable by birth and it is also uncomfortable by adoption. I can say that because I have done both.
November is Adoption Month. I want families to adopt and to foster and to sponsor if they cannot foster or adopt. I also want Christians specifically to understand this. I sat in your church. I sang and prayed with you. I worshipped with you. I was uncomfortable today in church. With You. Lets be willing to be uncomfortable together. Lets also not forget to blow the shofar for adoption and foster care and sponsorship. Lets not get wrapped up in a building project or a Christmas program or whatever and shift our focus from the widow, the orphan and the least of these. That is a level of discomfort that I simply cannot endure.
My family is in a season of being very uncomfortable once again. There is a young boy who needs us to love him. Nothing about it is easy. Today, in our worship service on Orphan Sunday observation....I asked God to let me love him the way He loves him. I can't really write much about this situation except to say today....that being uncomfortable in Jesus' name.....is important.
If you are reading and if you are willing, send up a prayer tonight for the kids who want to be in families. For the kids who are being ripped apart because they cannot be placed together, for the kids who have been surrendered to be adopted, to the kids who are waiting....to the kids everywhere who do not have a family or a home.
Roger couldn't come with us this time because he was home with a nasty virus. My big man-cub boys have come to this service for at least 9 years, so they knew we would go....and the little kids don't always remember until we get there, but then they say "oh yeah! I remember this now!" and we gather in the fellowship area with other adoptive and fostering families and the board of directors of Katelyn's Fund. We all go into the worship sanctuary together and we worship and sing and pray and stay in a sacred moment that is reserved for those of us who have said "yes" to this thing. This adoption and foster thing...this orphan support thing....this very uncomfortable thing.
It is very uncomfortable. Today, when we filed in, we happened to go 3 rows from the front which is never. ever. my plan. We entered a row and another family entered from the other side....so we shared. But we had Me, Josiah, Precious, Jeremiah, Isaac, Claire and Jonah (her boyfriend). We were squished. I was in the middle of the row in the front third of a very packed church. I was UNCOMFORTABLE. I tend to get hot flashes presently. I am also very paranoid about getting sick because my husband is sick. I fought waves of heat/nausea problems as we entered into worship. I got some brief moments of relief.....followed by fresh....threats. I didn't know what to do. About 40 minutes into the service I leaned down to Josiah who was slammed against me due to pew crowding....and I said, "hey buddy? want to go out with me and go to the bathroom?" I was hoping he was either A: tired of sitting or B: actually had to go. I've been at this parenting thing for about 20 years now.....he said "sure!" so we made an awkward exit and an uncomfortable trip past the hundreds of worshippers.......
I decided I don't have many years left to have a little one come out with me as my patsy so that I can escape uncomfortable things. I'm glad I had one today. We both went to the bathroom and then finished the service out in the lobby area until it was time to finish the service. We went back in and sang the songs, shared the prayer and stood on the stage with my tribe minus Roger who was watching on livestream under his blanket at home.
Adoption is uncomfortable. It just is. It is noble and it is a calling from God for sure....but it is as uncomfortable as I was sitting in row 3 with a 5 year old pressed against me with the wiggles. Fighting waves of hot flashes and questionable nausea. Telling family you plan to adopt is uncomfortable. Asking for financial help is uncomfortable. Preparing your home and your hearts is uncomfortable. Sitting through hours of home study and medical exam and other invasive policies is uncomfortable. Receiving a child is also.....uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable by birth and it is also uncomfortable by adoption. I can say that because I have done both.
November is Adoption Month. I want families to adopt and to foster and to sponsor if they cannot foster or adopt. I also want Christians specifically to understand this. I sat in your church. I sang and prayed with you. I worshipped with you. I was uncomfortable today in church. With You. Lets be willing to be uncomfortable together. Lets also not forget to blow the shofar for adoption and foster care and sponsorship. Lets not get wrapped up in a building project or a Christmas program or whatever and shift our focus from the widow, the orphan and the least of these. That is a level of discomfort that I simply cannot endure.
My family is in a season of being very uncomfortable once again. There is a young boy who needs us to love him. Nothing about it is easy. Today, in our worship service on Orphan Sunday observation....I asked God to let me love him the way He loves him. I can't really write much about this situation except to say today....that being uncomfortable in Jesus' name.....is important.
If you are reading and if you are willing, send up a prayer tonight for the kids who want to be in families. For the kids who are being ripped apart because they cannot be placed together, for the kids who have been surrendered to be adopted, to the kids who are waiting....to the kids everywhere who do not have a family or a home.
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