more unpacking....

 Last week saturday was the big day!  It's hard to believe it has been a week already!  I am beginning to wonder if it was all a dream, or if it really happened.....but I have been to the newlywed's apartment a few times to watch them open gifts, drop off some food staples, etc. and it definitely happened on January 2.  Wow.  Wow, wow, wow!  I was so proud of us.  We did a good job marrying them off and I am beyond grateful for my tribe. 

 Josiah was so handsome and proud and capable.  He was mad at me that I didn't seat him at the head table with the rest of the bridal party.  I assumed he would want to sit with us so we could help him with food but after hanging with the big guys all day in their suits he was mortified that I wanted him back at the table with mama at the end of the night.  He decided to sit at the aunt/uncle table right behind us just to prove his point and not sit with me.  (suited me just fine because then I had a table of grownups to share the reception with!)

Precious was beautiful and elegant and quiet and soaked it all in in her contemplative way.  I knew the dam would break on her emotions eventually so I was bracing myself and it did indeed break by Sunday night and the tears flowed.  She will miss sharing her room with her big sis, and she will miss being "Claire Kredit's sister" now that her name has changed......it is alot for an 11 year old girl just begining to find her identity to hold.....so I was grateful she let me hold her for a bit of it.  

Isaac and Jeremiah did everything I needed them to do, from posing for hours of photos, to being the gift collectors and transporters, to clean up after the reception....and they were so unbelievably handsome.  

Roger was a glowing proud father of the bride and was handsome, and articulate, and sentimental and prepared.  He was what every bride would hope her dad would be on her wedding day.....

And me?   I showed up for it.  I wore a beautiful gown and had my hair and nails done and I wore some slammin' high heels that hurt my feet but looked amazing.  I chose to be present and intentional about experiencing the day and taking it all in as much as I could because I will not pass this way again.  I will not again witness the marriage of my firstborn child, nor will I feel the intensity of all the bittersweetness of the day.  So much joy and awe and yet this melancholy sadness that she is now completely out of the nest.  On a cold January day she flew away from my nest into the trees with her best friend, to build a nest of their own.  The weight and magnitude of it for me, is that this is what it's all about.  This is why we do it.  This is why we choose to have children, to raise them the best way we can, to pray for them and support them and catch them when they fall, help them up, pray some more and then watch them go.  The blessing comes in seeing what they choose to do with all we give them along the way, for however long we get to have them.  I know she will still need me, and I will still show up, but it is different now and forever.  There is so much deep and lasting joy in noticing the difference.