some bedroom switching
Yes in the bank.....
We have this thing we do here. Its somewhat based on the theories of The Connected Child parenting...and the work of Karen Purvis. Its also part of the "Roger Kredit" philosophy on parenting.....and just time. And grace. The idea is to put as many "yes" s in the bank as possible.....so that when we have to say "no" it's not so hard. If you have been parenting awhile, you know that it is much easier to say "no" than "yes" most of the time. I want to challenge you all out there to consider that some of the "no" could actually be a "yes". It may require some effort and time.....but everyone......everyone.....needs more "yes" than "no". We, as parents, have the power to say "yes".
The Roger Kredit part is this. Long ago, he decided that if we asked a child to do something and they did not do it, they were giving us a "no". If that happened, we owed them a "no" and put a sticky note on the fridge with their name and the word "no" on it. At some point, the child would ask for something and if they owed us a "no" we could call it in. Eventually, noone wanted a "no" on the fridge. Genius. My husband. So here is the reverse....its the Yes.
Real life example: About 2 weeks ago, our son Isaac, just 14 years old in March, and ready to start his freshman year of high school......sent me a text message late in the evening. "When can I have my own room?????" You see, he has shared a bedroom with his younger brother his entire life. I wondered if it would ever become an issue or not.....and it did recently. He said that he has never, ever, fallen asleep in a room all alone in his entire life. He is correct. They are 2 years apart and went from sleeping in my bed to sleeping in a room together. First they had bunk beds, then they separated the bunks but shared a room......for their forever thus far. I mentioned it to Roger and to one of my dearest friends and we had some brainstorming ideas of how to create space for Isaac to have his own room. I could have said "no". (Later, he said that he expected me to say no).
Roger quickly decided we could not add a 6th bedroom to our already maxed out space in this home and I was fine with other options.....in the end.....Claire agreed to give up her bedroom. Precious agreed to bunk up again with Josiah under the condition that we put bunk beds in there and she could have the top bunk! Isaac would move to Claire's room in the basement and Jeremiah would stay put. We started the transition a week ago and got Precious and Claire moved first.....and today we did the lion's share of the bed moving after painting, doing trim work.......wow. We are so, so tired.
Yes can be easy and Yes can be hard. No would have cost us less energy in this situation but seriously......my oldest is snuggled into a fresh space for her last couple of years living here before college. She has made it cozy and personal and she loves it and I do, too. My second of five is absolutely ecstatic right now, sleeping in his very own room tonight for the first time ever. He chose the color, the atmosphere, the mood of his room. He has his music playing and is stretched out on a new bed (for him) that cost us nothing but the sweat equity of moving it from upstairs to down.....Jeremiah is on the couch because we are shampooing his carpet before we move furniture back into his Green Bay Packers room that he will now occupy alone. He can move furniture around and enjoy his own space for the first time ever as well....and the littles....well.
So far, in this family, their needs have been paramount as the youngest. We are in a new season in our family. The teens have needs that supercede those of our little 3 and 7 year old kidddos. For the first time, they can compromise for the sake of their older siblings and that is ok. They love the new set up in their room with bunk beds and have had a blast today making forts and playing with toys as I sort them and decide what to keep and what to trash. They know they can always end up in our big bed if they need to.....except tonight. The overflow of all the bedroom moving has landed in my personal bedroom space and it is chaos and bedlam in there.....I may sleep out on the tramp tonight.
Yes. Yes, I actually may.
We have this thing we do here. Its somewhat based on the theories of The Connected Child parenting...and the work of Karen Purvis. Its also part of the "Roger Kredit" philosophy on parenting.....and just time. And grace. The idea is to put as many "yes" s in the bank as possible.....so that when we have to say "no" it's not so hard. If you have been parenting awhile, you know that it is much easier to say "no" than "yes" most of the time. I want to challenge you all out there to consider that some of the "no" could actually be a "yes". It may require some effort and time.....but everyone......everyone.....needs more "yes" than "no". We, as parents, have the power to say "yes".
The Roger Kredit part is this. Long ago, he decided that if we asked a child to do something and they did not do it, they were giving us a "no". If that happened, we owed them a "no" and put a sticky note on the fridge with their name and the word "no" on it. At some point, the child would ask for something and if they owed us a "no" we could call it in. Eventually, noone wanted a "no" on the fridge. Genius. My husband. So here is the reverse....its the Yes.
Real life example: About 2 weeks ago, our son Isaac, just 14 years old in March, and ready to start his freshman year of high school......sent me a text message late in the evening. "When can I have my own room?????" You see, he has shared a bedroom with his younger brother his entire life. I wondered if it would ever become an issue or not.....and it did recently. He said that he has never, ever, fallen asleep in a room all alone in his entire life. He is correct. They are 2 years apart and went from sleeping in my bed to sleeping in a room together. First they had bunk beds, then they separated the bunks but shared a room......for their forever thus far. I mentioned it to Roger and to one of my dearest friends and we had some brainstorming ideas of how to create space for Isaac to have his own room. I could have said "no". (Later, he said that he expected me to say no).
Roger quickly decided we could not add a 6th bedroom to our already maxed out space in this home and I was fine with other options.....in the end.....Claire agreed to give up her bedroom. Precious agreed to bunk up again with Josiah under the condition that we put bunk beds in there and she could have the top bunk! Isaac would move to Claire's room in the basement and Jeremiah would stay put. We started the transition a week ago and got Precious and Claire moved first.....and today we did the lion's share of the bed moving after painting, doing trim work.......wow. We are so, so tired.
Yes can be easy and Yes can be hard. No would have cost us less energy in this situation but seriously......my oldest is snuggled into a fresh space for her last couple of years living here before college. She has made it cozy and personal and she loves it and I do, too. My second of five is absolutely ecstatic right now, sleeping in his very own room tonight for the first time ever. He chose the color, the atmosphere, the mood of his room. He has his music playing and is stretched out on a new bed (for him) that cost us nothing but the sweat equity of moving it from upstairs to down.....Jeremiah is on the couch because we are shampooing his carpet before we move furniture back into his Green Bay Packers room that he will now occupy alone. He can move furniture around and enjoy his own space for the first time ever as well....and the littles....well.
So far, in this family, their needs have been paramount as the youngest. We are in a new season in our family. The teens have needs that supercede those of our little 3 and 7 year old kidddos. For the first time, they can compromise for the sake of their older siblings and that is ok. They love the new set up in their room with bunk beds and have had a blast today making forts and playing with toys as I sort them and decide what to keep and what to trash. They know they can always end up in our big bed if they need to.....except tonight. The overflow of all the bedroom moving has landed in my personal bedroom space and it is chaos and bedlam in there.....I may sleep out on the tramp tonight.
Yes. Yes, I actually may.
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