My Maundy Thursday

     In this season of lent I have been thinking often about the veil that tore from top to bottom.  There are so many images in Christianity, when we consider the season of lent and more specifically Holy Week.  We see the palm branches and the donkey, we see the crowds yelling crucify him just days later....and as the week ends we come to this day.  The last supper, praying in the garden, being betrayed and taken by the soldiers, being tortured and led to the cross to die.....so many images that represent so much.  This is a familiar story for me.  This is my story.....and this year I find myself a bit distracted by that veil.  I have thought about it a lot.  

    I am not a theologian or a scholar.  I write reflections and wonderings and convictions.  

    For me....today....I feel compelled to write out a few thoughts and reflections and convictions on this Maundy Thursday of Holy Week.  We didn't go to church tonight as we usually do on this night of Holy Week.  Instead we summoned our children and grilled burgers and celebrated Jeremiah, our most middle child, on his 18th birthday.  The boys wrestled and we all talked and we ate too much and he knew that just for today everyone made sure it was all about him.....and for this very gracious, generous, goofy and selfless young man that was a  pretty good use of time.  So I guess I am writing my own Maundy Thursday message....perhaps just for me.  

    So this veil was likely a curtain that was hung up to surround the inner most part of the temple sacred things....in Old Testament, if I remember right, it would have been the Ark of the Covenant, etc.  Somewhere along the line the practice became that a priest would be assigned or chosen or whatever to go under this curtain, or veil, and go to the inner most part of the temple to do business with God.  There is a story somewhere in the bible where the priest ties a rope around his waist before he crawls under the veil because if he didn't properly cleanse and purify himself, and be presented sanctified before Holy God, that God would strike him dead and the rest of them would have to drag him out by the rope.  Can you imagine?  Can you imagine being one of the others looking at that rope wiggling around while the priest crawled around behind that curtain?  People probably gossiped and wondered about him.....if he was worthy and if he would make it back out or not....were they jealous?  resentful?  worried?  He was in there to make atonement for their sins so if God killed him and they had to drag him out dead, what did that mean for them?  So much worry and fear and anxiety as they stared at that veil, trying to not look at that rope, and wondering how long it would be before they knew their fate that day.  

    I don't know how often this tradition took place.  If this was an actual sermon I would have to do some research but it's not.  I'm guessing those on the other side of the veil experienced this juxtaposition more than once in a lifetime and it was not pleasant.  And by juxtaposition I mean what about that poor priest?  He has a job to do right?  So he feels kind of proud to be elevated to the position, but also feels the weight of the responsibility....and he knows God.  He has to know God....or he wouldn't even be considered....and he wants to go there, to get close to all that is Holy and he wants to atone for the people because that is the heart of God....but it is so scary....that curtain....and the absolute necessity to have faith in the One he is crawling under the veil to seek.  As if it could be the last day for him....and the last job he has to do....because only God knows if what he has to offer is enough.  After all, he is just a priest.  Just a human.  

    Maybe the people of God resented the priests who got to go under the veil and atone for them.  Maybe they didn't trust them and maybe they didn't even feel like they knew God for them.....do you wonder about that?  I would have if I lived then.  Maybe the priests hated that veil and the responsibility of it....Every time the traveling, nomadic people stopped for awhile it was time to set up the temple so the people remembered to worship....and up went that curtain again.....and then the talk started about the Day of Atonement and who would go under the veil to beg God to forgive the people for all of the screw-ups again....over and over again.  The big sins, the little ones, the scandelous and embarasssing ones and the secret ones no one ever knew.....except God.  They all need to be accounted for don't they.  

    Like I said before, I'm not a bible scholar so I really don't know.  But I do wonder whose idea it was to put up that veil in the first place.  It seems like at some point along the way the devil started to find ways to use it to cause trouble with God's people....fear, and insecurity maybe.....I'm just imagining because I am trying to put myself there and that is what I would feel...and those feelings do not come from anyone but the devil.  

I'm just gonna write that twice.  Fear and insecurity, jealousy, hatred.....all from the devil...not from God.  

    So Holy Week...Jesus gets to the cross....and  he gives up his spirit and dies.  There is an earthquake....the ground is shaking, everyone starts paying attention and in the town nearby the hill where the crosses stand,  the veil at the temple is torn from the TOP.....DOWN.  Top.  Down.  Way up high.....down to the ground.  Without anybody near.  Maybe God almighty was also sick and tired of the veil that covered up what happend between the Holiest place and those who wanted to be there.  Maybe God wanted everyone to be able to get to Him.....maybe it was time to tell the devil that the veil is coming down and the whispering and hiding and fearing can end....because Jesus is going to tear down the veil and gain access for good.  

    The veil is a big deal.  It came down.  There is no need for a priest to put a rope around his waist and crawl to the Holiest place and hope to atone for my sins.....the veil was torn down from top to bottom declaring the power and authority of the living God and I can come to that Holiest place all on my own.  I do have my own rope around my waist....but that post is for another day....for now just know that this is also an image and part of the Easter Story.....the veil has been torn and all are welcome to draw near.  Jesus paid the fullest price for us, we can walk straight in,, no crawling or worrying or wondering.  Just walk on in and find the Lord.

    On Good Friday I can think about this...and on Easter Sunday I will celebrate it....and every day thereafter, with God's help, I will live it.