The Semicolon series part two: Sleep

 I don't recall that sleep was an issue for me as a child.  As a young adult, I didn't need much of it to function....6 hours worked just fine.  Once we had children who woke up all night long I began to understand exhaustion and the deep need and craving for sleep...and by the time our kids were all old enough to sleep better.....my body kicked into middle age and sleep was interrupted by other issues like needing to go to the bathroom and hot flashes.  

Sleep is something we need, long for, read about, chase, avoid, manipulate....you name it we are talking about it.  I'm even buying teas called Sleepytime and doing a happy dance when they arrive in the mail....that's how important sleep is.  

When I don't get enough sleep I am irritable, I can't think straight, I am inefficient.  My memory is bad.  I make poor choices with food and don't have the energy to exercize.  My self-talk is negative.  My bible doesn't get opened.  I'm not a very good wife or mom or friend. 

 Sleep is a powerful influence with me.  Because I know this I have worked hard to do everything I can to make sure my sleep is as good as it can be.  I can't do much about the hot flashes or fragile bladder.....that just is what it is...but I do have several layers of sheets and blankets of varied thickness on our bed so I can peel them on and off as needed and I'm so good at it that I don't even wake all the way up now.  I also have a box fan on the floor that I have positioned just so and it blows on me but not my husband so that he doesn't freeze but it does cool me off.  I have agreed to leave the windows shut if the weather drops below freezing and I found some pajamas I can tolerate. ( I can explain in person if needed.)  I have learned some things about mindfulness and deep breathing and when I wake up at night if my thoughts begin to race and scatter I am learning to take a deep breath and feel the weight of my body again, and focus on what I can see and feel and hear and taste and smell and it actually works to quiet my mind.  It takes practice.  Sometimes I have to take several breaths.  

Taking breaks in my day to breathe deeply also helps with my sleep at night.  It slows down my heart rate, it calms me, it grounds me, and it regulates my stress.  Noticing beautiful things in nature during the day makes a difference.  Fresh air makes a difference.  My new love for my Pilates workouts and my new affection for my Sleepytime tea varieties enhance not just my sleep but my sense of wellness and feeling well helps me sleep better.  Good quality, locally made honey in herbal tea at night helps me sleep well.  (ok, ok...so does a splash of Fireball in my tea sometimes....but that's just our little secret ok?)   

One of my kiddos is struggling with sleep.  We are in a semicolon for this kiddo, too.  We are in a pause of figuring out what came before in the day (lots of stimulation with school, social situations, social media, some intrinsic and genetic stuff, and what this child needs to make sleep work so that what comes after can be all the best they can be.....and the examination of it is the semicolon.  My examination of how to get better sleep resulted in some lifestyle shifts that help me but also work for my family....because we live in the context of our relationships.  We are not islands and we cannot just float around sleeping when we want and staying up when we don't sleep.  I'm working with my child on a list of things to be grateful for right before bed, and also a way to take control of some thoughts when my kiddo wakes up in the night, and quiet them and take some deep breaths and not let the wild thoughts start to run around......and thankfully this particular child also likes sleepytime tea.  

So the semicolon tonight is about sleep.  Considering how it was before, how it is now, and how it could be later, and what it means.  Considering why it matters, if it matters, and if not, why not.  What is your relationship to sleep?  I've landed on a wisdom that I can live with.  I may never again have 8 or more hours of uninterrupted sleep but if the 2 or 3 or 4 hours I get are deep and restful and fulfilling, well, that's good enough for me.  If I can roll over and find a comfortable position and get a few more hours here and there, well, that's even better.  I will choose to be grateful for my pillows, my warm dog that always snuggles in, the clock that tells me the time by reflecting on the ceiling, and occasionally a cardinal that sings a wake up song in the tree outside my window.