Semicolon series number 3: Hugs and a look at families

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 If you have spent time with me and if you are little, you likely have heard me say this.  I love hugs.  Hugs are like medicine to me.  Maybe even if you are big!  I love hugs.  When a child is willing to give me a hug something in me changes.....endorphins fire, my mood lifts, my heart swells.....it is like medicine to me.  All of my kids know it and most of the kids who have spent time here do as well.  Hugs have power to change not just my mood but my countenance and my well-being.  It's physical touch.  It's affection.  It's connection. ( and it is so much more).  I would never force someone to hug me...that is not a trauma-sensitive thing to do.  If I ask for a hug and the answer is "no thanks" that's fine....but if the answer is "ok" well lets just do a happy dance and have a hug.  medicine.

When a helpless, fragile, sweet, soft baby is fretting, crying, squirming, asking to be picked up, please oh please oh please pick the baby up.  Pick the baby up every single time and hold that baby close and give the baby hugs.  Over and over and over and over 1000 times a day if that's what the baby is asking for....it's medicine to him/her.  Give that baby the hug.  You. cannot.  spoil.  the baby. by. ..........holding.......the baby.

Hold the baby.

If you are tired of holding and hugging the baby please bring the baby to me.  I will hold and hug the baby.  Hugs are medicine to me.  I have found amazing ways to do dishes, dust, vacuum, work on the computer, exercise, go to the dentist, get a massage and travel in the car with an infant.  I have lots of tricks.  I will share my tricks for free if you promise to hold and hug your babies.  I know it's hard.  I know sometimes it feels like too much touching....but these little people need more than you think so that when they grow up they can bang the drum for hugs...because the world needs to know that hugs are good.....and the world is getting very hands-off.....

A few days ago I met someone.  I really hope that the Lord will make a way for us to become good, good friends.  I'm not sure how that could work because I already love her daughter and her grandchildren and consider them my friends.  I guess it will depend on how she sees that.  Perception is important.  I knew just a bit about her before I met her and when I met her I liked her so, so much.  I also was acutely aware that in the moments of our meeting she was working through some really hard things and I didn't want to ask her for a hug.  (It's ok to laugh here....)  I was being cautious and also because her daughter and grand-daughter were with us I was being friendly with them and grand-daughter circled in with security for a hug because she knows I love hugs even though I had not officially told this 4 year old I love them yet.  She's just smart that way.  She gave me a hug and I was enjoying the medicine of it and was saying out loud how much hugs were medicine for me and thanking my little friend for the hug and grandma said out loud.  "hugs are medicine for you?"  "Hugs make me want to cry".  and the room became strangely quiet for a pregnant pause that said a novel of truth for a generation times three of women in that place who are trying to figure out all the things around what love looks and feels like....and once again I found myself standing in sacred space that I did not earn nor deserve and wondered how blessed I was to be able to breathe there.  

I smiled at grandma, my newest of the 3 friends and was so grateful that she could share such a thing and really quietly in my heart asked Holy Spirit for a chance to change that for her.  Maybe someday a hug will feel like medicine and not make her want to cry.  If not, maybe she will gain wisdom and understanding in the why.  I'm thinking of daughter, my first friend of the 3 generations, and I can't even remember if I have hugged her.  But our thoughts and words and connections represent the same impression so far.  Next time I see her?  I'm gonna ask her for a hug.  The little bit grandbaby?  well....she doesn't just offer them like candy at a parade but you know....they are available.  I respect that.  

So the semicolon here is in the look at how we are with who we are with and do we hug them?  If we do then great!  If we do not they why not?  and could we?

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