to know him is to love him...

 I'm gonna write a bit about my monkey in the middle...my Jeremiah.  Oh how I love this boy.  Oh...   He is 17, a senior in high school and trying to figure out his version of "what's next".  We don't care, really.  He can go to school, or work....he can do trade school or university....he has so many options....and he just doesn't really know what comes next.  He lives in the moment and he feels things in big ways and he understands what matters deeply....what a blessing he is....an obnoxious, frustrating, imperfect and sometimes naughty blessing.  We don't do perfect here, folks, make no mistake.  But we do people and we do love the people we do.  

Jeremiah was in a class at school called Woods.  He did Woods 1 and made some cool stuff...a box with a lid (I collect boxes so I loved this), a cutting board, a wooden spoon that I use all the time when I'm stirring things on the stove.  He had an assignment for his senior project to do a bigger project and we talked with him about it.  Roger wanted him to make a carrier for his green egg grill...and I was like....wait....hold up.....I need a new coffee table.  You went through that aweful bottle-flipping phase of life when you were about 10 and you trashed my coffee table and I deserve a new one, Jeremiah.  Make your mama a coffee table.  It was a heated discussion, believe me.  He decided to make the coffee table instead of the grill thing......good choice, bud. 

Roger came up with some plans that were......complicated.  (all I really wanted was a coffee table) and Jeremiah was ready for the challenge.  His teacher helped him along the way but he had a tough challenge and spent lots of time agonizing and stressing and researching this project......at some point his teacher asked him why a coffee table and he had to confess the bottle flipping story....if you have had a bottle-flipper you understand.  

Last week, or the week before, he came home late and we were talking quietly after everyone was in bed.  He said, "mom, this project was really hard and it's almost done but it's far from perfect...."  I smiled at him....my sweet, sweet, child who is almost a grown man....and I said...."Jeremiah....look around you.  Nothing here is perfect.  Everything here is second-hand, home-made or gifted from someone else....I don't want perfect here....I just want it to be good and useful.  perfect is dumb.  don't ever feel like perfect matters here.....we are just a mess of stuff that works...." and I was kinda tearful because just like every other wife and mother and homemaker I would love to have a beautiful home.....but that is not my portion.  Jeremiah looked around and said, "well, mom, I think what we have is pretty great...and I love it here...."

Hearing that coming from the third bird who is about to leave the nest is more than my mama bird heart can hold, really...that he loves us and our place and how we do life.....and is not embarrased or ashamed even though the friends he invites here all have much more in terms of material things.  His friends like to be here and come here often.  He says it is because we don't say no and always welcome guests.  that's a pretty cool legacy for me....

The other night some friends came in late and woke him up.  He had his tonsils out over Christmas break and he's been out of sorts....I love that his friends feel comfortable just walking in and heading to his room, waking him up, putting on his swim trunks and getting into the hot tub on a cold winter night....because they are seniors in high school and all of it matters now.  

Last night he brought the new coffee table home.  I had had a stressful time putting Josiah to bed because bedtime can be hard with him....and I was crabby and my empathy vault was dry....but I came out of his bedroom and Roger and Jeremiah were talking and laughing and enjoying how awesome the new table looked in our family room....and it did look...amazing.  

My dad did wood projects after he retired and made me lots of things.  I went to bed sad and grieving that he was gone and I couldn't send him a picture of Jeremiah's senior project....he would have been so proud of this coffee table.  It's amazing....just like my Jeremiah.  

So tonight I am sitting here typing on the coffee table that has a hinge that elevates it so that you don't have to lean over...and my candle is burning on the part that doesn't and my books that I hope to read are on the shelf below and I am kind of in awe that my child made this cool thing that I get to  enjoy....and even more so, I am in awe of this child that I get to call my son....