this side of heaven is hard

     Recently I had a conversation with a friend.  We discussed the struggle and strife of this world and how to manage it.  My friend has had a particular struggle that has not lessoned or resolved for years.  She is weary.  She is crying out to Jesus for strength for today and brigh hope for tomorrow.  She asked me if I had any advice for navigating her struggle.  I don't have advice.  All I have is to know the struggle and to know it matters.  I can hold space for her.  I can acknowledge that life can be hard.  I can listen to her and I can ache with her because the pain and struggle she is dealing with is aweful.  She and I remembered together, as we talked, that this world is not our home.  We are only here for a little bit.  We are unto something greater and more wonderful and we can stay the course, we can press on...we can do the work.  Jesus already declared a victory.  Jesus already defeated the enemy that works all frickin day long to steal and kill and destroy...and the enemy can mess with all it can but will not succeed.  ever.  

    We talked about how great it would be if we could sneak a peak into the future and understand how much it will all be ok.  It really will.  It will be ok.  We just need to get through the messy part.  Sovereign God has made a master plan that will all turn out well.....because of Jesus and because of the cross.  

    Our extra kredit is also walking a parallel path.  The decision has been made to move toward a permanent adoptive home.  I didn't make this decision nor do I have any ability to affect it.  XK is sad and mad and grieving and so scared.....xk only knows two truths.  The past was chaos and fear and lonliness and desperation.  The present has been stability and routine and consistency and security.  The future is unknown.  XK doesn't know what he cannot know....just like I cannot know what I cannot know about the will of God and the plan of it all.  

    XK and I are travelers together...as is my friend who shared the struggle....and we just don't know.  We believe that better days are coming...that we learn as we go...that the hurts from before will lead us to healing now and empower us to do better in the future....but for the love of mercy....it is all so hard.  Exhausting.  Interruptive.  Angry.  and ultimately.....hopeful.  Because.

    We know.

    We know that Jesus did the work.  He defeated the devil.  He is the victor and will rule and reign forever.....so we just need to keep doing the day, and stepping forward, and remembering the promise that in Him....everthing will, indeed, be ok.  

    If you are reading and if you pray....please pray for XK....that God's best plan will come true in his life.  If you don't pray and "send good thoughts"....go for it.  My God is big enough to grab them and turn them into prayer.  We all have this journey to navigate and sometimes it feels really hard.  I know that XK's future will be good.  I know it.  I can't convince him because there aren't words that make sense to him...and I imagine that God would say the same to me.  It will be ok.  I can't tell you why or how but I know that I know that it will all be ok.....but only because of Jesus.  Make no mistake.  

    So.

    Here we are.....leaning into the thing that we hope makes sense....and knowing the truth that cannot be refuted....and holding hands and giving hugs and taking breaths and noticing.....sunset.... cool breeze....a baby's giggle....the wonder of nature....the fellowship of suffering....the longing to help hurting people.....the beauty of Jesus....the power of the cross....and the redemption and salvation of the people of God.  That's where we are.  That's where it ends.