Uncle Todd

 Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."  

    The other night Josiah came out of his bedroom in tears.  He had already been tucked in, prayed for and kissed good-night by his dad but he couldn't sleep and he was in a state of despair and frustration and tears.  He had heard noises that scared him outside of his bedroom. Doors opening and closing.  A wierd whistling sound....all of which were amplified by a basement bedroom and a child who often struggles with anxiety.   He knew the extra kredit was in meltdown mode and that was taking up a lot of time and energy late at night after a ballgame and we were all exhausted.  

    With big alligator tears rolling down his cheeks, Josiah stood in front of me and said, "can I have my roller ball for being scared? (we have some essential oil blends we use)....and mom....I've been trying to say I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.....over and over and over....but its just not working!"  

    I got him the roller ball to put on his neck and arms and behind his knees and took him back to bed and layed with him and stroked his back and talked to him about relaxing.  We took some deep breaths together and I said reassuring words about how safe he was.....how tired he was.....and how not alone he was.....and let God do all things....through Christ who gave ME strength that night.  

    Today marks the 4 year anniversary of my Uncle Todd passing.  He was only a few years older than me and more like my big brother.  (he's also the one that never let me forget the strawberry pie incident).  Uncle Todd lived his entire adult life in a wheelchair as a quadraplegic.  On the 4th of July, when he was 21 years old and newly married 5 days prior, he was in a car accident that broke his neck and paralyzed him for life.  He wasn't wearing a seatbelt.  In later years he went to speak at high schools once in a while to impress upon kids the importance of a seatbelt. His life was not easy.  His wife left him for a man who could walk.  He could never work a full time job or he would lose the life-saving medical insurance he needed.   His health declined steadily.  He loved food but could not eat for more than a decade at the end so was nourished through a feeding tube....eventually he couldn't breathe on his own and needed a tracheotomy tube to keep breathing.    As his days and hours moved toward his last breath in those last days, he shared with people he loved some beautiful things.  I heard him say that he did not regret being in a wheelchair or blame God for it.  He said that if he hadn't been in the accident and confined to the chair he would have probably just gone on living life for his own pleasures and not learned to seek and know God the way he did.  He begged everyone he loved on that last day to find peace and purpose and knowledge and saving grace in Jesus.....he said important good-byes to people he cared about.  It was the most beautiful and sad and meaningful way to leave the earth....and then his second wife, his best friend, layed next to him  and stroked his back and talked to him and he was so relaxed and at peace....and he knew he could do all things through Christ who gave him strength....and then he was with Christ...and all the things he had to do were done.  

    Today is for remembering Uncle Todd.  I'm choosing to write about him on the anniversary of the day he died but every single day he lived was worth remembering as well.....