extra kredit

 Extra kredit had his first day of school ever today.  He was so excited to go.....was counting sleeps for a week or more until today came.  He was up and ready before 7am and the bus wouldn't come until 7:45.  He was brave and he was ready.  I washed dishes today at school so I was able to check in at lunchtime and he said he was doing great and his teacher said he was doing great.  Great!  Great.  It was all great until bedtime where a meltdown started and continued for over an hour and a half regarding whether to have a shower or not and then in bed, wishing he had had a shower and then not wanting to go to school ever again because school was scary and he just wants me.......and Roger and I both sat in the bedroom a long time while he cried and I eventually left the room and Roger stayed while he cried some more because he really just needed to cry out everything he had held in all of his great, great day long.  I need this kiddo to wake up and feel excited and ready for another day at school and not to wake up sad and tearful and refusing to go to school.  Please, friends, pray for us here?  I don't like saying no.  I'm a yes mom to a fault for sure.  This kid needs to be in school and I'm not kidding.  

That's all you get about him specifically because we are not supposed to share about fostering in a public way....and I will likely take down the picture of first day of school and replace it with just Joe and Precious to be respectful to the rules.....but I also hate that by not mentioning him or including him in this nightly posting about the kids here, that it feels like he is invisible and doesn't exist or doesn't matter because he very much does exist and he matters and he is noticed and seen and heard here, just as much as everyone else is.  

Here are some things I can say.  I did some internet digging today so that I could share relevant and timely facts.  There are approximately 440,000 children living in foster care situations in the US right now.  The median age is 6 1/2 years old.  25% of children living in foster care experience PTSD and that is similar to the rate of PTSD in the veterans of war for our country.  Children in foster care experience high rates of depression and low self esteem.  30,000 of these kids will age out every year at age 18-21 depending on the state they live in.  Of that 30,000 young adults, 70%will, within 4 years, be on government assistance and 25% will not have completed high school.  Less than 12% will ever earn a college degree.  Within 4 years of aging out of foster care, 50% will have no earnings and those who do work will make and average of $7500 per year.  Many foster youth that age out are not prepared to live independently, which will result in unemployment and homelessness.  

While these are dire and depressing statistics FOR SURE.....this is the beginning, not the end of an opportunity to talk about and make changes to these numbers.  Join me, will you?  There is this awesome word.  It is called Resilience.  Developing resilience is a positive change to a situation in the face of significant risk or diversity.  Be resilient with me?  Help me foster resilience in this group of humans that deserve the utmost sanctity and respect for their human lives....these children that, by no fault of their own, are in a desperate situation with very little hope for a better life.  Help me to prevent the need for foster care at all.  Help me work with young families and single mothers and stressed out parents to get their needs met so that their children can thrive at home with them, and not have to live for a year or two in another place, separated from them.  Help me to build a community that loves and cares for everyone around them, whether they like them or not.  Help me to protect the children.  

To build resilience, we must emphasize strengths and enhance protective factors, not just reduce the risk of abuse or neglect. There are 3 key ingredients to building resilience in all human beings.  Promote and encourage caring relationships, have high expectations and provide opportunities to participate and contribute in life.  Caring relationships is the greatest role in promoting healthy, successful development in young people.  We can all do some of that can't we?  Offer to care for each other and build a friendship with someone who needs it?  It doesn't matter if that someone is an adult or a child.  Some of my favorite people are about 4 years old.  We can all expect the best from each other and work to build each other up to achieve their best.....and there are an abundance of opportunities for belonging and contributing to the goodness of others.  

I choose to see this world through rose-colored glasses because I can't bear not to.  I can do the hard work and the dirty work of sharing in brokenness with people, but I cannot do it without a plan for healing.  It's what nurses do.  We work toward health and healing and resilience is the vaccine and antidote for foster care.  It really should be anyway.  Until then......we will continue to press on to that for which Christ took hold of for me......