911.....trauma.....understanding
There is a travelling exhibit in town this weekend. We are having one of those small town weekend celebrations where people come out for cruise night, food, dunk tanks and parades in small town America. It's awesome. The travelling exhibit is a dedication to the tragedy of 911.....and highlights a fire fighter (among many others) who sacrificed his life that day. Early today, knowing I was planning to tour the mobile museum, I was remembering 911. I was on a very hot and sunny walk and I was remembering that day and vividly I could see where I was, what I was doing and who I talked to that day. I was orienting to my first WIC clinic as a public health nurse. We were in the basement of the old library in town ( that has since burned down). I was pregnant with Isaac. My then sis-in-law was scheduled to babysit Claire for me that day. She was 2 years old. The attack started before I left for work that day and my then sis-in-law called me in tears, sure that the world was coming to an end. She was scared and crying and we prayed together. Then I told her I had to go to work and brought Claire over. At work, we wheeled in those big old TVs on carts that we used to have, so that while we were doing the clinic we could watch the events unfold. We were all scared, and confused. It seems so unreal, that something so horrible could happen in America.......and yet.....I also remember the clients I saw that day, in living color. I remember what we talked about while the tragedy played out on the portable square TV sets on rolling carts.......
18 years ago everything changed because of 911. Flying in airplanes changed. National security changed. My sense of security and safety changed. Remembering that day causes big feelings for me. When I walked through the exhibit today I felt so many big feelings. I felt overwhelming sadness that I did not expect. Sadness because so many people died that day and terrorists changed me. I felt sadness because heros did their jobs and died......and I was overcome by the weight of it.
If this traveling 911 Remembrance comes to your area, please go. Remember it. Read about it. Listen to the people who are working and sharing it. Sit with it.
911 was traumatic. It was life-changing for America and for the world. Trauma changes things. We all encounter human beings every day who have lived through trauma. Many of us are those human beings! And those we see and talk to and love and work with and care for.....may all know trauma and how it feels and what it does to change us. I was only an observer of 911. None of my family died there. I wasn't there to experience it, and yet, I had trauma triggers today that affected me. How much more are kids and adults affected who have lived that hard thing, seen it, suffered it it.
It's abused kids, it's foster care, it's car accidents, its domestic violence,it's farm accidents, it's the death of a loved one, it's whatever it is but if it is traumatic it needs some respect. And grace. And latitude. And understanding. And remembering. And kindness. And honor. It needs time and it needs space to be what it is. It needs people to see it and to not turn away, not ignore it, not try to fix it or make it go away or turn it into something else. It is what it is and it deserves its place in every life.
And then what? Well. For me.....Claire and I did the tour of the trailer. I had big feelings. She had less of those because for her it is history. I dropped her off at home so she could pack up and go enjoy a weekend with her college friends. I spent the rest of the day telling everyone I saw to go walk through the exhibit and to remember. I saw our local police and fire fighters out and about for our summer celebration days and I felt more deeply the weight of what they do. If a suicide bomber or plane crashed into my community every single one of them would respond and you know what? So would I.
18 years ago everything changed because of 911. Flying in airplanes changed. National security changed. My sense of security and safety changed. Remembering that day causes big feelings for me. When I walked through the exhibit today I felt so many big feelings. I felt overwhelming sadness that I did not expect. Sadness because so many people died that day and terrorists changed me. I felt sadness because heros did their jobs and died......and I was overcome by the weight of it.
If this traveling 911 Remembrance comes to your area, please go. Remember it. Read about it. Listen to the people who are working and sharing it. Sit with it.
911 was traumatic. It was life-changing for America and for the world. Trauma changes things. We all encounter human beings every day who have lived through trauma. Many of us are those human beings! And those we see and talk to and love and work with and care for.....may all know trauma and how it feels and what it does to change us. I was only an observer of 911. None of my family died there. I wasn't there to experience it, and yet, I had trauma triggers today that affected me. How much more are kids and adults affected who have lived that hard thing, seen it, suffered it it.
It's abused kids, it's foster care, it's car accidents, its domestic violence,it's farm accidents, it's the death of a loved one, it's whatever it is but if it is traumatic it needs some respect. And grace. And latitude. And understanding. And remembering. And kindness. And honor. It needs time and it needs space to be what it is. It needs people to see it and to not turn away, not ignore it, not try to fix it or make it go away or turn it into something else. It is what it is and it deserves its place in every life.
And then what? Well. For me.....Claire and I did the tour of the trailer. I had big feelings. She had less of those because for her it is history. I dropped her off at home so she could pack up and go enjoy a weekend with her college friends. I spent the rest of the day telling everyone I saw to go walk through the exhibit and to remember. I saw our local police and fire fighters out and about for our summer celebration days and I felt more deeply the weight of what they do. If a suicide bomber or plane crashed into my community every single one of them would respond and you know what? So would I.
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