thoughts at the end of my birthday.....

I have said to people lately, that this year, as I turn 50, I plan to have a celebration and an emotional break-down every day.  In the same year that I turn 50, my oldest will graduate from high school and go to college and essentially leave the nest.  My baby will finish daycare and start kindergarten......and I will come to terms with being old-er. 

These new decade birthdays are kind of a big deal.  20, 30, 40, 50......at 20 I was figuring out who I was.  At 30 I was building my family, at 40 I was embracing my life, my choices, my place in God's plan.....so what will 50 bring?  Only He knows. 

I expected to feel depressed about this birthday but instead, I am excited.  I am refreshed.  I am ready.  I'm not young any more and you know what?  That's ok.  With age comes experience and a seasoning that deserves respect and due diligence.  I've arrived at that place.  I am wiser than many.  I am expected to have opinions and I don't need for them to be challenged.  I intend to continue to learn and grow as long as I live, but I also have earned the right to stand on some things. 

I have 20 minutes left of April 28, 2018.  Here is my list so far:

I stand on the promise that Jesus in my Savior and Lord of my Life.  I will strive every day to choose to do what He wants. 
I stand on the truth that all children deserve to be loved and cared for.
I stand on the hope that comes with every new change of seasons....
I stand on the observation that a sense of Home makes people feel safe.
I stand on the dream that one day all people will feel and be treated with equal dignity and respect.
I stand on the tradition of celebration for things that matter, like holidays, birthdays, weddings and funerals.
I stand on the need for self care.  (Take 4 seconds to breathe in.  Hold your breath for 4 seconds.  Exhale for 4 seconds.  Repeat often in the day and especially when feeling anxious or stressed.  )
I stand on the importance of compassion and empathy. 
I stand on sticking to your guns......unless there is an exception.  In real life, folks, plan for the exception.

This summer we managed to finally wean our youngest kids out of co-sleeping with us.  It took some nurturing parenting and patience but we did it.  They sleep in their own beds every night now, but occasionally Precious wakes up and if she does, she has a nest ready for her in the corner of our bedroom but not in our bed.  She may always go to her nest if she wakes up in the night.  The other day, she asked me if we could make a plan for her to sleep in bed with me again for a night.  Sweet girl missed that safe and cozy way to sleep.  I said "sure!  thanks for asking in a way that lets us make a plan.  maybe on Friday night this week it could work.  lets talk to Dad about it."  well, Grandma Mary came Friday night and claimed dad's couch.  So I told Precious we would have to wait.  It was hard but she agreed.  Of course, Josiah did NOT want to be left out of this slumber party.....so I promised them that if dad was willing to take the couch tonight, that they could sleep with me. 

We had a bit of tension when they both wanted to sleep on either side of me....and the batteries to the tv remote were dead.....but we managed to get through it.  They are snoring peacefully in my bed.  Roger is on the couch where he claims he sleeps the best....and I am typing away with a nightlight. 

My birthday gift to readers is this.  Have a plan and be ready to stick to it......but always leave room for an exception.  Sometimes the biggest blessing is in the exception.