Facing an adoptive mama fear.......

-
Oh this girl.....and her hair.  This was last year.....and she has already changed so much but this hair has not.  During the fall/winter/spring we do braids with extensions and that works well because she and I don't fight about it.  I don't try to spray it or condition it or style it....she doesn't try to run away.  Summer we let the hair go so that she can just be who she is without the hair issues.  I wish I could have it that way always but her hair doesn't cooperate......

In a few days, I have to face one of my worst fears.  We have an appointment at a hair salon in Sioux City to do her hair.  Professionally.  So far we have been able to use an African student at our local college but she has graduated and moved on and so I need to find another stylest.  You guys.....this is so scary for me. 

When we adopted Precious, we travelled to North Carolina to bring her home.  I was most afraid of the women in the hair salons there.  I didn't want them to judge me or berate me for taking a child home whose hair I did not have the skills for.  I figured that I was an educated woman, a seasoned mother and I would figure it out.  We are 7 years into this and I haven't figured out how to do her hair.  She has really, really, really hard hair.  She has a very sensitive head and doesn't want me to touch it or comb it or even spray a moisturizer into it without world war 3 happening.....and most days we have that war anyway over food and clothing and life.  You guys.  I am so, so scared of this salon owned by a black woman who braids hair.

What if she is disgusted by me and my lack of competence regarding my black daughter?  Worse yet....what if she is mean to Precious and makes it a painful, nightmare event to fix her hair?  What if we suffer through it and she charges me $200???????   I am committed to this appointment.  Tonight, Precious and I talked about it.  We decided it would be an adventure.  If it is aweful and she hurts her, I will stop the appointment and take her home.  I will be with her the whole time.  Oh my goodness.....this could seriously take up to 8 hours......breathe.  Breathe.  Breathe.  We are going on an adventure.  After her hair is done we will go shopping and out to eat and hopefully it will be a fun mom and daughter date......hopefully this woman is kind and gentle and compassionate and will be a blessing to us. 

Oh my word.  Can we just get past Saturday?  I was so excited when it was our familiar friend who is kind and gentle and steadfast and patient.  She has braided Precious' hair for 4 years, since she was just a toddler.  Now we are going to a real salon.  *something Precious has longed to do*......and I am scared out of my mind. 

Pray for a cure for cancer, an end to racism and human trafficking and all forms of abuse.  Don't necessarily pray for me and my fear of the black salon owner....but maybe, if you think of it Saturday around noon, think of me and smile a hopeful smile, ok?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Superbowl musings, Niki-style

-
 Last week I walked dogs in unexpectedly warm late winter afternoons.  I realized that when I don't walk regularly it matters.  This week I wanted to walk again but I am such a wimp and if it is cold or windy or rainy or all of those things put together, I don't want to walk outside.  I spend my work days in and out and in and out and cold and warm and cold and warm.....but today I needed to walk.  It was cold and windy and rainy.   I started my walking app that tells me when to walk slow, speed up, slow down, speed up and eventually cool down.  In my home office space in front of a cooking competition.  I looked ridiculous walking in place, dancing and prancing, moving foward and backward and working up a sweat but I got it done.  I sure did.   I got groceries because we were out of milk and I got food for "superbowl Sunday" which is not that different from any other Sunday evening.  My parents come over and we have snacks and drinks and then we eat together and clea
Read more

Family

-
Image
  These are my people.  My big kids gifted me for Mother's Day with a photo shoot organized and paid for.  It has always been hard for me to schedule family photos so this gift is extra special.  We did the photos late summer/early fall.  Our smiles do not reveal how hot or windy it was that day.  Yet and still we managed to get some really great pictures, thanks to our sweet and competent photographer...Cassie Beth.   Here is the thing.  This photo tells so many stories...so so many stories.  Each of the 9 of us could be a story, a novel on our own.  Then if you pair up any of the 9 with another, there are more stories to tell, and in groups of guys or girls still other stories to tell.  Looking at Roger and I....chapters and chapters of stories...and separate us out each of us is also a story.  Our lives are stories. I have told my kids over and over that their lives matter.  They were created by God to do something in this life that will expand His kingdom, give Him Glory and ma
Read more

mid-summer check in on being Aware

-
 I remembered today that I had been doing a monthly reflection since January.  I missed June...and apparently July.  Here we are on the second day of August and I find myself aware of it...aware of how June flew by and July slipped by and now I'm settling into August....aware.  June was a full month of ball games and volleyball competition and vacation.  It was also the last month of my fiscal year of my work as a public health nurse and that means there are lots of reports due and documentation needed to make sure we get funded again.  June was a lot and it was awesome...and hot....and busy.   July slowed down a bit with more nights at home, more lazy pool afternoons and a break from the heat.  We caught fireflies and we cooked more meals at home.  We decided to tackle a huge project long overdue and tore out carpetting in our main living area.  This carpet has been there for over 40 years.  It was gross and disgusting....suffice it to say that I am very, very aware of how unsettl
Read more