very much ok and great and well ...if inquiring minds want to know.

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 In case you are checking back in....the transition went so well Friday.  If you prayed then thank you.  It was kind of a crazy deal....because that's how things often happen here.  I had taken a couple car loads of the xK stuff to the relatives already and had some things on the table yet.  xK kids never came home from school.  For some reason the bus dropped them off at their new home!  I got a text that they were there...and we had a mad scramble for random other reasons ( a mom and baby needed a ride to the clinic so I was out driving around trying to find them because she wasn't sure of her house number...and there was a language barrier....and some guy with a flat tire who wouldn't pull over that was slowing down traffic).  Kids stopped by and grabbed a few things and took off again with their family and I never did say good-bye.  I took a few more loads of their stuff to their new home in the dark and quietly left them in the back....texted the family and tip toed back to my car and drove home.  It took most of Friday for me to feel like they had pretty much everything there.  

People who care for me have asked how I am doing, and if I am ok.  


I'm doing great.

I am very much ok.

They are safe and they are going to be ok.  That was the job.  That is why my path crossed with theirs.  I kept them safe until a better plan was formed and now that they are settled I can take a long deep breath and feel so, so ok.  Sure, I will miss their sweet little selves.  Missing them is part of loving them.  But I was here for them, not the other way around.  Now that they don't need me, it is ok for me to be ok with them leaving. 

Today I went to a mom event at my church and I won a prize basket full of lovely things.  I got to sing and worship and drink coffee and study scripture.  It was amazingly fulfilling for me.  Then we went to Sioux City for basketball for Precious and we did some shopping and got fast food for supper.  We came home, started a fire in the fireplace and watched a movie and I did my latch hook without interruption.  It was glorious.  I'm snuggling into bed tonight feeling relieved, grateful and restful.  I'm not stressed or overwhelmed or exhausted.  I am well. 

Foster care looks different in every family....but know that for us we can say yes and love and give and serve and pray and help heal....and then we can know when it is time for that chapter to end.  My kids here need and deserve a season where they are a priority and they feel like they don't have to wait or pause or shut the door and figure it out alone because mom is busy with other things.  My husband deserves to be less needed for parenting.  Me?  I deserve to rest.  I deserve to know that I did a good job with these kids and I will love them and always be here if they need me.....but they don't need me now like they did before and I am so fine with that. 

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