Precious-and a story in being her mom

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 Last week Precious had a track meet.  She was running 3 events she was really excited for.  She had new shorts....she got up early to get ready and wanted to be there early to cheer for her teammates.  We went to watch.  It was cold and windy and really miserable....and I didn't pack enough blankets or warm clothing.  That meet didn't go well....she missed 2 out of her 3 events for reasons that were not necessarily her fault....but also left us frustrated and angry.  Roger tried to problem-solve with her after the meet which didn't go well.  She got angrier and more frustated and at the end of the night she had decided she hated track and was never going to run again.  And we couldn't make her.  And she wouldn't eat anything even though she hadn't eaten all day.  Next morning she left still mad, still not eating.


I share all of this because it explains something about what it is like to feel frustrated and embarrased and helpless and angry.  For Precious, it is all-encompasing....its all-or-nothing.....its brutal.  I grieved for her.  I grieved because she has a gift.  She is fast.  Noone taught her to run....she just ran one time and ran really fast and then we knew she was fast.  Being fast has consequences and added pressure....and when things go badly, it's really really hard.  


I started to pray for her that night.  I prayed that God would soften her heart and give her courage to try again.  I asked her dad and I asked Claire to also pray.  I vented to Jeremiah.  I cried a bit.  I don't need her to win track meets....I could care less about track.  What I care about is her....and her ability to stand in a space and know she is worthy to stand there....and that she can hold her head high and smile.  I care that if she has a gift she is given opportunity to use it and understands the responsibility to protect it in reverence to God.  I care about her character.  It matters way more than how she does in track.  


I waited a couple of days before I brought it up again.  When I did I said this.  Precious.....I want you to think about what it would be like to try again.  To run in the next track meet next week.  I want you to be curious about being brave and showing up again because maybe it will go better and you will feel successful.  Please just think about it and wonder about what it would be like to be really courageous and try again.  I won't ask you to decide for a few days.  Just think about it.  

Monday I needed an answer so I asked her if she was willing to do the meet or not.  She said she wasn't sure.  I said I thought she should  She said ok.  I quietly jumped and squealled and praised God for touching her heart for this.  I texted Roger and Claire and told them.  


Today she woke up on time, finished her homework, got her track stuff ready.  I opened her door to check in.  She looked me in the eye and said, "I'm gonna kick some butt today"  I responded saying "I know you will."  Gosh are we proud of her.  Happy she ran well, but proud she didn't give up.  Proud of her courage to show up after how badly it went last week....and proud she was ready and learned from her mistakes and showed up big.  

All 3 of her events came in first.  She kicked some butt today.  Yes she did.  

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