the post for Election 2020. my only one.

 I have some thoughts to write out....and obviously share.  I am praying as I start to type that God will till the soil and spread the seed on fertile ground.  If not, I'll get some nasty comments that I will delete.  Disclaimer delivered.  Yesterday most of the country voted for our president and senators, etc.  In fact, I think its pretty cool how many people voted and how much this election means to Americans.  Thanks be to God for the patriotism demonstrated in Election 2020.  This has been a hard year and we are all desperate for something to cling to, to hang our hat on and to use our energy to cultivate.  

I was driving Josiah, age 7, to tumbling and asked who he would vote for if he could vote.  He said he would vote for Trump because if he voted for Biden then Biden would make people wear masks, even when they were in bed sleeping.....that is not intel he heard at home, trust me.  Still.  He was choosing to vote for Trump based on his own comforts and lifestyle.  It strikes me that much of this election points to that.  Campaigns ran based on what we want, what we like, what we feel like we don't want taken away, what we want freedom to do.....big platforms, such as gun freedom/control, abortion, gay rights, Black Lives vs. All Lives matter (seriously people?  seriously.)  There was hatred spewed and slander sprayed.  There was  blame and disgust and name-calling.....and the land of the free and the home of the brave became something rather ugly to me.  I voted.  I voted partly out of guilt because the message I received was that I am not a patriot or an American if I don't show up and color in a circle.  Never you mind, I know I am an American.  I am proud of my freedoms and grateful for them.  I am happy to have so many comforts and privelege just because I am American and white and I live in Iowa.  I don't take any of it lightly.  I also spend my life caring for the hurting, the vulnerable, the cast-down and oppressed and that matters more to me than my own life.   I voted.  I was also completely nauseous and wondered if I might throw up as I voted because the whole thing made me sick.  Voting so that the things I want in my life can remain, or change to be the way I want them is selfish.  I, and we, are a selfish, selfish people.  

Josiah came home complaining about how unfair his soccer games were at recess yesterday.  He didn't like the game or the way it was going because his team wasn't stacked with the best players and it was unfair.  (hmmmm....sound familiar? )  Precious came home mad because one of her friends wasn't playing fair in PE and was so competitive that she was pushing the limits of the rules to her advantage.. when she got home she blocked the friend and wouldn't talk to her, she was so mad..(also sounds familiar if you have watched any of the news covereage of Election 2020).  Jeremiah was at state volleyball and that match was hard fought, left sweat and tears on the court.....and is also a reflection of Election 2020.  

This game we are playing?  This game to have our party win and our agenda move forward?  It is a dangerous game.  It threatens to harm us as a people and to cause wounds and changes to government and to human lives that will cause suffering and some will laugh at that suffering and that is precisely why casting my vote made me sick to my stomach.  

I'm so glad the voting day is behind us.  I am aware that the decision has not yet been made.....and I can say that God is Sovereign over us.  If you choose to loot and destroy and cause fear and hatred then shame on you.  If your team didnt' win, get over it.  If your team did win, you better care for your neighbors, uphold those with different views from your own, and be respectful.  If you don't then shame on you, too.  

I voted.  But I didn't like it.  The vote that mattered most was the one I cast a long time ago that asked Jesus to be the ruler of my life, the breath in my lungs, the air that I breathe and the reason I get up and move every single day.  When he counted my vote, he not only secured my salvation in Heaven beyond the grave here on earth, he also accepted my humble offering to do my best every single day, and to forgive me when I screw it up.  He challenged me to live an unselfish life.  I accepted that challenge.   I'll vote Jesus every day and never wonder which team should win.  

I desperately need to restore my hope in humanity.....and for my local community to not disappoint me.  I have believed for a long time that this community is special and annointed and blessed.  I am begging God to move and restore that belief here.  My heart has been broken a thousand times and I pray that the aftermath of Election 2020 doesn't break it again.  This year has been hard enough.