manna

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Exodus 16:4     Then the Lord said to Moses, "I will rain down bread from heaven for you.  The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day.  In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions."

3 weeks ago when we said yes to taking in a child who needed a safe place to live for awhile, we didn't know what we would need.  We did know we needed another bed.....and maybe a dresser.....but otherwise we could not know what we would need until we needed it.  It had only been a couple of days when the cry of my heart, and my prayer over and over each day was this.  "Lord God.....send fresh manna."

The old testament story of how and why God sent manna from heaven to feed his people is a good one.  You can find it in Exodus.  The people were uncomfortable.  They were hungry and tired and whiney and wanted relief from their conditions.....and just like a good parent does, God knew that they needed sustenance.  I don't know about you, but when I am hungry I get CRABBY.  So do my children.  So did the Israelites.....and some food in the belly helps us all to feel better and that makes us act better.  Feel better-be better.  

It was likely in the middle of a sibling fight, or tattle tail moment, or big feelings meltdown, or dogs barking or music blaring.......but one day I cried out to God out loud,,,,,"Lord please send manna.  I need manna today!"  I needed the grain of heaven to fall on me so that I could be calm, wise, bigger and stronger and braver than the chaos around me in that moment.  I needed God to wash over me with that still, small voice, which is always accompanied by His massive authority and Presence in my heart and mind.  I needed him to silence the screaming in my head and slow down my pulse and help me find my center in Him.......and he dropped some manna down to me and I made it through that moment.  Day after day, I find myself in that really "hangry" place where I am about to lose it with the noise, the kids, the clamor of the world and we are busy and we are active and we are living!  I wouldn't trade it for anything and I seriously wouldn't change a thing......because I lift my eyes to heaven and sometimes its several times a day.....and I say "Lord......send fresh manna"  Again and again.  Manna doesn't last.  it must be consumed that same day.  I reach out and receive it, I take it in, it fills me and sustains me.  I can't save it for later.  I can't ask today for tomorrow's manna.  I only get what I need today.....and it is always enough.  

If I could order manna online from Walmart and go and pick it up curbside I would likely get enough for a week so that I wouldn't have to order more.  I would think that this manna was sufficient for whatever I might need tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.....but how can I possibly know what I will need tomorrow?  I may need more or I may need less and fresh manna spoils.  It cannot be stuffed in the closet like an extra bag of chips.  Fresh manna has no preservatives or added fillers or extra junk.  It is just the right thing at the right time, made to order and fresh from Heaven.  Every single time.  

So I will keep praying throughout these crazy days and this unprecedented time in our history and our adjustment to all of us being home more than we expected and also busier than we could prepare for.  I know that the Lord is faithful to provide everything we need in the time we need it.  I know he knows me and he knows when and why I start to fall apart and he is always right here, never far away.  As my good good father He knows just what I need and it is always exactly right.  It is, afterall the grain of heaven.  

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