in the quiet place at the mouth of the cave
Two days ago, on Monday afternoon, my auntie and her Tom went for an afternoon walk. They are a lovely couple who have enjoyed each other in the season of life that comes after building a family, focusing on career and living in the marketplace world. They are retired and have been having a blast taking motorcycle trips with friends on their Harley bikes, exploring caves in Hawaii, candy-baking with sisters, hiking the mountains of Norway with her son and family, skiing in Montana with her other son and loving life.
Monday afternoon they went for a walk and were walking on the correct side of the road when a car swerved over and clipped her on its way into the ditch. The car came from behind. She literally did not see it coming.....and the impact of the collision stopped her heart and she died instantly.
We are in shock over the violence of this death, and we are in shock that we can never enjoy her beautiful presence in this world again. She was sweet and kind and fun and happy. She was not condescending or judgmental. She accepted everyone she met with a smile, a warm embrace and a gentleness that one does not find in most folks. Gosh I will miss her. Her Tom will miss her. Her sons and their families and her good, good friends will miss her. She will be so missed.
Initially I was so angry that the Lord would take her. Why her? I can think of so many other people who should go before her.....but thank goodness it's not up to me. God numbered her days before she began them. He decides our day of birth and our day to leave this world and do whatever comes next. Cathy knew Jesus and Cathy is with Him now. How can I grieve that? She has what I want most.....to finish well here and move on to there. The fact that He spared her pain and fear and suffering matters to me now. I am grateful that she was out on a walk and the next moment was in Heaven and will be spared whatever could have still been coming in this world. Nothing about this world is our home.....
In our home school work with Precious this week she has been studying 1 Kings 19......its one of my favorite passages and I was considering it these last few days regarding all of the madness in the world withe Covid 19. I find comfort in knowing that God is the author of all power and purpose.....and yet we can find him......in the quiet.
1 Kings 19:11-14.....The Lord said Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by. Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, bu the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"
Feel free to read on the rest of this great story. For now I want to share that He can be heard and known in the whisper. My auntie maybe didn't hear or feel the chaos and noise and fear and violence of her death. I don't know, really. I'm thinking that she did not. I am thinking that she found Him, and saw Him and ran to Him......in the silence, in the whisper.
All of this Covid 19 craziness feels like the wind and the earthquake and the fire to me in lots of big and small ways every day. I am choosing to pull my cloak over my face and go out and stand at the mouth of my cave and listen to the whisper. I know the Lord is there, and I wonder if he is asking me, and maybe asking you....."What are you doing here?"
If I answer Him honestly I must say I am struggling and I am mostly falling short of being wonderful and helpful and hopeful. I am giving in to anger and frustration and feelings of helplessness. I feel irritable and impatient and full of self-pity over and over in my days......"What are you doing here Niki?"
Well Lord, help me. Change me. Fill me. Be glorified in me. Let this be a season of pruning and refining and sharpening me to be an arrow you can send flying. Let this day be a calling to do better and lean in harder to you, Father God......
Monday afternoon they went for a walk and were walking on the correct side of the road when a car swerved over and clipped her on its way into the ditch. The car came from behind. She literally did not see it coming.....and the impact of the collision stopped her heart and she died instantly.
We are in shock over the violence of this death, and we are in shock that we can never enjoy her beautiful presence in this world again. She was sweet and kind and fun and happy. She was not condescending or judgmental. She accepted everyone she met with a smile, a warm embrace and a gentleness that one does not find in most folks. Gosh I will miss her. Her Tom will miss her. Her sons and their families and her good, good friends will miss her. She will be so missed.
Initially I was so angry that the Lord would take her. Why her? I can think of so many other people who should go before her.....but thank goodness it's not up to me. God numbered her days before she began them. He decides our day of birth and our day to leave this world and do whatever comes next. Cathy knew Jesus and Cathy is with Him now. How can I grieve that? She has what I want most.....to finish well here and move on to there. The fact that He spared her pain and fear and suffering matters to me now. I am grateful that she was out on a walk and the next moment was in Heaven and will be spared whatever could have still been coming in this world. Nothing about this world is our home.....
In our home school work with Precious this week she has been studying 1 Kings 19......its one of my favorite passages and I was considering it these last few days regarding all of the madness in the world withe Covid 19. I find comfort in knowing that God is the author of all power and purpose.....and yet we can find him......in the quiet.
1 Kings 19:11-14.....The Lord said Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by. Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, bu the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"
Feel free to read on the rest of this great story. For now I want to share that He can be heard and known in the whisper. My auntie maybe didn't hear or feel the chaos and noise and fear and violence of her death. I don't know, really. I'm thinking that she did not. I am thinking that she found Him, and saw Him and ran to Him......in the silence, in the whisper.
All of this Covid 19 craziness feels like the wind and the earthquake and the fire to me in lots of big and small ways every day. I am choosing to pull my cloak over my face and go out and stand at the mouth of my cave and listen to the whisper. I know the Lord is there, and I wonder if he is asking me, and maybe asking you....."What are you doing here?"
If I answer Him honestly I must say I am struggling and I am mostly falling short of being wonderful and helpful and hopeful. I am giving in to anger and frustration and feelings of helplessness. I feel irritable and impatient and full of self-pity over and over in my days......"What are you doing here Niki?"
Well Lord, help me. Change me. Fill me. Be glorified in me. Let this be a season of pruning and refining and sharpening me to be an arrow you can send flying. Let this day be a calling to do better and lean in harder to you, Father God......
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