A song and an attitude adjustment for this tired mama.

I was sitting in Josiah's room just now listening to the bedtime music we play at night.  Lauren Daegle's song Love Like This came on.  I had just been thinking about all of the hateful and hurtful and disappointing things going on in my life.  I was thinking about missed opportunities and frustrating circumstances and how disappointing people can be......I was mad because Claire has been home today being an amazing sister to her siblings, and she has been present and loving and attentive and fun.  Tonight the little kids kind of puked all over that because of extenuating circumstances.....but she was left feeling mad and underappreciated.....and she should never ever feel that way.  I sent her a text and reminded her that kids who have issues struggle with gratitude.  She knows this.  But it's good to be reminded. 

I spent all day tending to our home and family.  I spent a lot of money today on food to do some meal prep so that when we have busy baseball and work and life days, we still have an option to have a healthy home cooked meal ready at night in the crock pot.  In fact, I still have about an hour of meatball rolling and baking to do tonight and its 9:19pm and I have all my steps on my fit bit and I am hot and sweaty and tired and still have one child to get to sleep.....but the new flowers and garden veggies are planted and watered and the pool is cleaned and covered and the lawn is mowed.....I hope the fish can live through the night.  I didn't have enough time to clean out his tank. 

I was swimming down pretty deep in a pity party tonight, thinking about how much I give and do and how little I feel valued......and I was mad that things I fight for and humans I care about are not getting care they deserve.....and then that song broke in and reminded me that I get love......that I do not deserve.....every day....from the One who gave me life, from the One who authors Love, from the One who is the only one I ever, ever, ever need to answer to.  This One and I need to spend some quality time together very soon.....and He Alone will adjust my attitude and I will once again be humbled and grateful and positioned rightly to know who I am in relationship to Him....

oh friends.  There are many, many people that I know and care about who just don't care to reconcile their lives to Christ and to live in relationship with Him.  If you are reading and are one of those friends, its ok.  Please don't stop reading....I'm just working out my thing, and you are free to work out yours.  Tonight, when I was feeling pretty low, God broke into my quiet moment and reminded me that He loves me and I don't deserve the love He has and let me just say.....I heard Him.

I'm gonna hit "publish" and go ahead and roll those meatballs, bake them, freeze them, pray with Precious and tuck her into my bead because she had a hard night and sometimes sleeping with mom fixes things.  Roger and Isaac are away on an amazing Hiking weekend filled with God moments and lessons.....and I am holding down the fort.  Me and God Almighty.