an Ode to Mother's Day

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If you happen to be lucky and blessed to be a parent, hear this.  I have been lucky and blessed to be a mama for 20 years and counting.  For years I didn't want to be married or have children....until I began to ask God what he wanted for my life.  He wanted me to marry and have children.  Tomorrow is Mother's Day.  This is a day that I have celebrated for so many years.  As a single young adult, I began to remember my mom and step mom for this day and also my heart was burdened for a woman at my church named Janet.  She had a daughter a few years younger than me who died as a teen.  For many years I ordered a corsage for her to wear to church in honor of her daughter....We don't do church corsages any more.  We mostly go to the local greenhouse here and give hanging flower baskets to our moms to enjoy for the spring and summer season.  Sometimes  we give gifts.  

Today I drove around the county and delivered simple cards with a small gift card to mothers I work with.  I wished them Happy Mother's Day and after they found the cards they all sent me a text or message to wish me the same.  What an unexpected joy I had today to share this sweet thing with them.  I miss them all so much since I am not allowed to do home visits right now.  We text and facetime and video call but it's not the same.  These mamas and their babies.....they have a piece of me that is hard to explain.  

Meanwhile, back at the Kredit ranch, Precious rode along today as I delivered the cards and we listened to music in the car together.  We wore our masks when we went to the greenhouse to get flowers.  We wore our masks when we went to the bakery to get buns for supper.  We talked about Jesus and friends and puberty......and she decided to spend some of her bakery gift card and buy me a coffee mug for Mother's Day.  She is not, by nature, generous.  This was a big deal.  I will drink from the mug awhile and then cherish it forever because it was part of a pretty amazing day.  The teen boys came and went today.  That's what they do right now.  Claire and her fiance Jonah had dinner with us and watched a movie.  Roger ordered movie theater popcorn and had curbside pick up to abide by social distancing.....and we had a great night.  It was my turn for bedtime with Josiah.  We did devotions and the lesson for the day was about Moses and adoption.  Go figure.  We read "Are You My Mother?".....and I made a video every few pages because I never ever want to forget his sweet voice, his chubby fingers, and our time together reading in his bed at night.  

We have started finding our 5 things to notice before going to sleep.  He is really good at it.  Notice the window, the music, the pillow, the poster, the book shelf....whatever comes to mind as we finish the day and feel present and here.  Here matters.  

Gosh, I'm so grateful that I got to be a mom.  Tomorrow they will all try hard to make me feel special and loved and appreciated.  Funny thing is, by nature, the definition of mom is to offer special and love and appreciation.....and when they reflect that back to me it just makes me love them all more.  

Claire.  Isaac.  Jeremiah.  Precious.  Josiah.  

They all call me mom......they are my "why" tomorrow.  I am going to love Mother's Day tomorrow.  I am going to not dwell on all the mistakes and screw ups and regrets, and I am not going to compare myself to other moms who seem to be doing it better.  I'm not.  You shouldn't either.  Love the moms you know and for pete's sake, love yourself.  It is the hardest work, the greatest sacrifice, the best we can do and it is worthy of a day.  

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