He is Greater.....John 3:30 says He must become greater, I must become less"

At the end of 2016 I'm trying to sort out some priorities.  What to do less of, what to do more of, etc.  I was invited to do a group bible study that sounded really awesome but would require more of a commitment and when I tried it last year I failed big time.....so for this season, I'm giving that a "less" vote.  Do less group bible study.  I did very little time alone with God, meditating on His Word and listening to Him......so I'm going to make that a "more" for the new year. I did less socializing last year with friends, meaning going out with other adults for lunch or dinner or drinks,  to the movies, etc.  I'm switching that to more for 2017.  I did plenty of minutes on facebook and watching prime time television this past year.  Hoping to move that to the "less" category for 2017. More exercise.  Less sugar and carbs.  More reading.  Less sitting.  More sleeping.  Less......Jimmie Falon.  I know, I know....

It's Christmas Day!  We made it!  The gifts are mostly all opened.  We have one party left later today....soup and sandwiches and bingo with aunties and uncles......My Uncle Todd has beaten the odds over and over again in 2016 and we get to celebrate Christmas with him again this year.  I don't know anyone who fights harder to keep living here on Earth than him.  I am eager to give him a Christmas kiss in a couple of hours.....and then wup his butt in Bingo to make sure I get the gift I want.  (just kidding....sorta). Claire is starting to pack for Haiti.  She leaves tomorrow in the dark of night with a group that will fly to One Vision Childrens Home and love on some kids, paint some buildings, and be the hands and feet of Jesus.  If we head to Walmart tomorrow....and that's a big IF....it will be in search of hackey sacks for her to pack and share with the kids there. Claire was commissioned for her trip in church this morning....and then we ...

Christmas is almost here.  Those of us who LOVE Christmas are waiting in the pregnant pause, the anticipation, the expectation of all that is coming soon.....the love, the laughter, family, gifts, good food, good will and glad tidings.  For those of you who do not like Christmas at all....its almost over. Very generous friends have been shopping and wrapping packages for families that were not going to have a very happy Christmas.  They are calling me and texting and messaging me for pick up and drop off instructions.....The recipients of these gifts are overwhelmed by the generosity of others....and therein lies the Christmas Spirit.  for me.  I want to say Thank You to all of you who contact me year after year and ask for a family to bless.  Thank you for including me in your good will and glad tidings and allowing me to deliver your packages and your good cheer.  Thank you for caring about people you may never meet, and not just doing the bare mi...

I shared a personal memory on a home visit today.  I did 5 home visits, which is a lot in my kind of work....and involved driving to different communities.  The story I shared was about the time when I was a new mama, for the first time.  When I had my first child, Claire, my mom was so, so excited and ready.  Claire went past her due date....by almost 2 weeks.....so we were ALL ready to greet her when she chose her birthday!  We invited my mom to her birth when we knew birth was imminent.  My mom was there in full makeup and lipstick....at 1:30 am.  We teased her.....mom, why do you have make up on at 1:30am?  ( she had slept in make up for over a week just hoping for a call to come to the birth of this grandchild!)  Claire was born.  We gave her the name Claire for Roger's grandma Clara...and her middle name is Barbara....for my mom.  Nana Barb beamed with pride and love...... Every day thereafter my mom would stop by before sh...

Baby Jesus is back with His folks in the manger.  Roger found him while digging for something else (don't ask) under the chair cushion.  It's crazy because he has been missing for days and days....but once I highlighted the issue, he showed up. Maybe that's how it is in life sometimes.  We don't notice or care that he isn't obvious.....until someone brings it up.  Maybe it's a good sermon in church, which is a case in point to attend church.  Maybe it's a song, or a conversation, or simply conviction by the Holy Spirit....but somehow, we are freshly aware that we do not see Him.....we cannot find Him.....and so we may or may not decide to address that. He is never far.  Sometimes, he is right under our noses....or our bums, depending.  But.  He is always near.  The bible tells us so.  He wants to be missed and more importantly.....Jesus wants to be found.  

Recently I took a photo of my little nativity scene.  Today my mom posted one she took.  Both had been manipulated by little 4 year old Josiah.  He loves to play with them.  I grew up with a mom that encouraged us to play with the nativity pieces, to ask questions, to interact with them and so of course I did the same thing as a mama.  I have the set that I collected over many years when I was newly married and it was somewhat expensive...but not fragile.  I have a second set that belonged to a grandma and when she passed away, it was one of the things I received from the estate.   This year, I had my "nice" set on the piano in the office room and the less expensive one in the family room.  The other day, Josiah was busy playing and was moving the pieces back and forth....putting them together, then separating them.....and its hard to tell which goes where.  I was busy and distracted as any busy working mom is most days and didn't pay att...

     This morning I drove into work on this very cold and windy Wednesday morning.  I had a very full schedule for today.  I am also fighting the virus that has plagued Josiah for weeks and weeks......he is on the mend......       I had a conversation that troubled me deeply.....and the issues that made my heart ache involved foster care and children in foster care over Christmas.  It involved the torture of mental illness and suicide battles.  It involved the brokenness in homes that causes children to grow up to be broken adults who try to raise their children in a lost and very broken world.....and something called the ACE score that measures the impact of childhood trauma on adult chronic illness.  I do work in public health, ya know.  A situation came to mind of a teenager who is out on the streets this month, living alone and cold.  I cannot fix these things.  I am a nurse.  I look for ways to fix things!...

This is a post I meant to write over on the Katelyn's Fund blog.  I was scheduled to post their on Saturday.  I knew what I wanted to write but the day just got away from me.  I will write it here and hope some of the same readers cross over! Last week Thursday, I went to wake Precious.  By Thursday it is not fun to wake her up for school.  It requires more patience and creativity because she is tired.  We talked about breakfast, as we do every morning.  "Precious, what do you want for breakfast today?"  Breakfast is important because if she has a breakfast that is filling and makes her happy, her day starts well.  Because she takes medicine to help her concentrate and calm down for school she doesn't want to eat for those 8 hours....so breakfast matters a lot until supper.  She is a very picky, fussy eater. She said "Are pancakes healthy?"  as we laid on the bed together in the darkness of Thursday morning.  I said, "Well...

I found my song for this year. Some of you have been reading with me for a few years and remember that every year (or most years anyway) I find one Christmas song that strikes a cord in my spirit. This is it this year. I heard the Bells on Christmas Day is from a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. The song tells of the narrator's despair.....and he hears the Christmas bells and thinks that "hate is strong and mocks the song of peace on earth, good will to men"..... and the line that pierces my heart presently is this one....."Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: God is not dead, nor doth He sleep; The Wrong shall fail, the Right prevail, with peace on earth, good-will to men......." and when it plays on the radio I crank it up and almost scream with tear-filled eyes.....God is NOT dead, nor doth He sleep....the wrong SHALL FAIL....the right prevail....with peace. On Earth. Good-will....to men. Our world right now.....we are living in very scar...

Claire came home tonight after a long day.  She had dance, then school, then work, then a Walmart run to get things for dance....and school...and work.  She's more away than home these days at 17.  I had Josiah on my lap and he had just fallen asleep so I was able to feel the weight of his sleepy self and stroke his sweet soft curly head as she and I talked about teen-age issues, and prom, and such.  We switched gears to talking about Christmas.  Her comment was that she had not done any Christmas shopping yet.  The girl is seriously more busy than anyone I know....by her own design.  I smiled, nodded, and agreed that the holiday was coming fast.  Claire said, "Are you excited for Christmas though?".  I had to pause a bit.  Am I?  Excited for December 25, 2016?   My answer was something like this.  I love the season of Christmas so much.  From the day after Thanksgiving right up to the day after Christmas......tha...

It's day 2 of Dressember for me.  Yesterday I sat in arena chairs and cheered on my daughter's high school dance team all day.  I held Josiah on my lap and helped him eat "Dippin Dots" for the first time and got my dress really dirty.  Then he fell asleep on my lap and remained there for 2 hours, up in the nose bleed section of Wells Fargo Arena in Des Moines, Iowa.  While scrolling through facebook I saw lots of photos of people joining the effort to raise awareness and funds to help stop human trafficking.  Junior high kids are even doing it!   Jeremiah told me today that a sixth grade boy in his school is dressing up for school every day for Dressember....... I sat down in my favorite spot this morning with my coffee, preparing for some quiet time and thought to myself...  "The dress gives a voice to human trafficking.  To prostitution.  To people trading money for sex.  These are things that the human race has been keeping quiet s...

Dressember.com explains the "wearing dresses in December movement" to raise awareness for the social disease of human trafficking.  International Justice Mission also has a website that describes it.....and around here, you may find various groups of women who are standing together in dresses for the month of December.  Some are actively raising money to help fight the battle.  Others are wearing dresses to raise awareness.  Still others are just along for the ride, not really sure where they fit in just yet.  And that's ok. I had a visit with a new friend this afternoon and she said that she and some of her friends are doing a fund-raising activity for Dressember.  As I drove home, in the misty rainy snow (or snowy rain.......) I did some contemplating again.  Why am I doing Dressember this year?  I think it is fair to ask myself that every year I decide to participate.  Why?  What does it mean for me?  What do I hope to accompl...

Christmas season is so special.  For me......it is blessing upon blessing.  Allow me to share a few of my blessings: Our family thrives in summer...and we also love fall. Winter is hard here. I few of us experience " seasonal affective disorder" known as SAD.We feel down and out until we can be back outside in the sunshine. Winter means that the dogs don't get the exercise they need so they are restless and obnoxious. .....but Christmas......Christmas comes right at the start of winter.  We begin this long dark season with a celebration of the birth of Jesus.....with festive decorations, a fragrant Christmas tree, music and programs and family gatherings.  I used to think that the music was my favorite part. I've changed my mind. Its the "elfng". In my work as a public health nurse, I engage with many families in the community and learn about their hardships, their struggles, their needs.  In my work as a mom and wife and church member and adopti...

Salmon Patty Sundaes! for a family of 7......adjust your recipe according to family size! 4 cans salmon, half a sleeve of saltine crackers, 4 eggs, 1/4 cup milk or cream, onion powder, garlic powder, parsley, salt and pepper.  mix ingredients well.  scoop up into balls and drop into hot skillet of melted butter/olive oil blend.  Brown on both sides until crispy.  (our portions made 8 good size patties) meanwhile, boil 2 cups sweet peas in salted water.  mix 2 tbs flour, 1/2 cup milk and  1 tbs sugar to make cream sauce.  add to peas.    reduce to low and cook until thick and creamy. I made instant mashed potatoes because it was Sunday and I didn't want to slave over the stove too long....but do what you gotta do folks. To assemble, I do the potatoes, then the patty, then the peas.....Roger does patty, then potato, then peas.  Josiah keeps them all separate and eats fork-fuls as he runs around the table.  Precious has fish...

"Elephant in the room  or  Elephant in the living room  is an  English   metaphorical   idiom  for an obvious truth that is going unaddressed. The idiomatic expression also applies to an obvious problem or risk no one wants to discuss. [2] It is based on the idea/thought that an  elephant  in a room would be impossible to overlook." In the spirit of holiday sarcasm and my bent on things less cheerful, I am compelled to take note of this.  The elephant in the room......I've know about him for forever.  Because of how God wired me I have always know about him.  It is the unspoken thing....the obvious absence.....the huge presence that no one will address.  Today is Thanksgiving and many of us, if we are lucky, have spent time with family and/or friends to celebrate.  We gathered and gave hugs.  We laughed.  We shared memories.  We avoided talking about certain "hot topics" because we wanted a nice ...

Our littlest hunny boy isn't so little any more.  Josiah is 4 today!  Oh my heart this child.  I love him so, so much.  He makes me crazy many days......he is a talker, and a singer.....and a noise-maker.  He is just never, ever quiet.    He loves to tease and bother his brothers.  He and Claire say "kiss kiss hug hug" when the greet each other lately.  He and Precious fight for attention and affection.  He is a sweet boy.  He is such a blessing.  His birth mama loved him very much and tonight I find myself thinking of her.....I think she would be proud of him.  I know we are.  Happy birthday, buddy.  4 is so big.  

National Adoption  Month is here.  Tomorrow we join our Katelyn's Fund family and friends for a worship service, some fellowship and a dinner.  We will catch up with old friends and maybe make some new friends.  We will honor God for His miracles in our family.  We will pray for families waiting for children to come home.  Clearly, every single day of my life is adoption awareness day.  Since I was a little girl, I understood that not all children grow up in homes with parents who love them.  I was one of the lucky ones.  My parents were not perfect.  Still.....I grew up in a home with parents who loved me.  They tucked me into bed at night and read me stories.   I had a mom that checked my homework in the morning and drove me to practice and music lessons.  I had grandpas and grandmas who came for my birthday.  I had aunties and uncles who loved me and hugged me and asked me about my life when we...

November is National Adoption/Orphan awareness month......more on that later. When we said "yes" to God's call to add a fifth child to our home, we were not in a good place.  We were stretched thin financially, emotionally, relationally.  God asked us anyway.  ok.  ok.  maybe some of the adoption stuff will come out here. We physically could not fit 7 of us in our vehicle comfortably so we did a crazy loan kind of thing that will take some time to recover......and got a vehicle we could all travel comfortably in.  This has been THE thorn in our flesh ever since. It's a lemon.  Constantly needing work,  We have faithfully made the payments and kept the daggum thing going because all of us fit in it.  This week we had to send it in again.  I was.......unhappy. Until. Today I met a client at a local food/clothing pantry.  She needed baby clothes and also knew the food would be helpful.  She is young.  She appreciated ...

I have shared this song with several people lately when they were struggling.  There are so many situations in this world that have no easy answers.  I ache to solve the problem, to find the healing, to make it better, and I come back to this over and over......Jesus is stronger.....sin is broken....He has saved us from all of it.  Let His name be lifted higher and higher and higher above all of the yuck of this world every.  single.  day.  In this world we will have trouble.  We will.  We do.  He has come to save us......and this song....this song is a vessel to that truth and power.  It is good enough for whatever shows up tomorrow too.  

I am thankful.  I am Thankful for many, many  things.  Phillipians 4:6-7 says to"  Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will gaurd your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Being thankful creates Peace.......did you know that?  It's true.  A thankful heart is listing all that it has, and is grateful.  I am always longing for more Peace and less Stress.....and the answer is right in front of me.  Be thankful.  I want that Peace that surpasses all comprehension always gaurding my heart and my mind, through the power of Christ Jesus my savior and Lord. Today I am thankful that I was able to stand at my kitchen stove, as I do every morning, and make breakfast for my tribe.  We do hot breakfast here almost every morning.  I make the big boys eggs the way they like them.  Pre...

This morning Isaac and I were assigned to be the helpers for the 3/4 year old program at church.  The kids and I are on rotations for different kids activities at church so we have to watch the announcements to know when it is our turn.  After the worship and greeting time, Isaac and I left for "children in worship" which is the class Josiah does during morning church. 24 little kids came into the class and found spots on the carpet squares.  The teacher (God bless her!) did the greeting, the prayer, the singing and the story......and the story was about  Moses leading his people through the desert, the parting of the river and the Israelites passing through the parted waters to the promised land.  the pre-schoolers listened and were really attentive.  They each got a turn to move the people through the parted river to the other side.....and then they did snacks and free play time until their parents came to collect them. Two things. 1.  Josiah w...

Beside me is a sweet little guy, my youngest son.  He has very soft, sweet, squeezable feet.  I love it when the day is done and he is in his jammies snuggled in beside me.  His socks come off and I can hold those soft little feet for a few moments.  they don't stay soft and sweet for long. A few blinks ago, another little guy sat beside me on this couch at night.  He also had very soft and sweet feet that I could hold in my hand and sqeeze and stroke and adore.  Today, that boy put on dressy clothes and I drove him to a fast food restaurant in town and he interviewed for his first job.  He was nervous.  I was......given pause.  The "interview" only took 15 minutes and if he decides he is serious about working, he has a spot at this place.  The manager asked what he would do with the money he earned.  I think that's super cool.  It makes me smile because she is someone I went to school with long, long ago.  She is good ...

Gosh I love this kid.  I don't have such good photos of him here.....but this is what I have tonight.  If Roger was not in Texas, he could help me find better, more current ones.  If my friend Jen was not in Mexico, she could help me post the really awesome photos she took a few weeks ago.  Here is a summation of me as a mom:  I have good words to write.  I don't have the technical skills to add a really awesome and inspiring photo.  That's me.  Half-baked.  Reaching for it but not quite getting there.  I am defining it because I happen to know that many of you out there who read this blog are just like me.  Feel better about yourselves tonight.  This one's for you.   So here is Jeremiah being his sweet and silly self.  This kid is my heart.  He is sweet.  He is kind.  He is 12 and in the 7th grade at school.  He is always willing to help me, to fix things, to be a blessing.  He is the ...

Tonight we had to put the pieces of Precious back together so that she could go to sleep.  She went from a school day to day care for a couple hours to mid-week church and she kept it together all day.  From the moment the door closed though, she was falling apart piece by piece. After a very long work day for both Roger and I, we didn't have the emotional arsenal for mid-week meltdown.....but here it was.  Roger worked with her for awhile but nothing soothed her.  She was distraught, emotional, angry.  I sent him out to the hot tub with Josiah who was jumping around like a crazy guy and driving everyone nuts. I dragged Precious off the floor to the dining room.  I warmed up a heated bean bag that fits warmly around the neck and shoulders.  I wrapped her up in a fluffy blanket.  I held her close.  She was weeping and wailing, over school papers.  Timed math facts.  Some hideous exercise whereby the child has to do as many probl...

4am:  "mom...."  "What, Precious..."  "I was sleeping so hard and I peed the bed."   expletive.  expletive.  double expletive.  cry out to Jesus.  and some more cussing.....so I got her cleaned up and changed and as she walked to the couch to finish her sleep she said.  "oh oh.  look.  the dogs got in the garbage".  sure enough.  remains from the past 2 days of food consumption for the family......all over the dining room.  so there I was on my hands and knees cleaning up empty containers and wrappers, wondering what our schnoodle would do to digest Guatemalan tortillas....and guacamole.....and leftover chinese......ugh. Because I was not being gentle or quiet, Josiah woke up too.  Oh goody, goody.  So get him to the bathroom and tucked into bed again....and he wants me to lay with him because he is three years old and it is 4 am.....so as I am trying to fall back asleep I wonder.....what in the world is ...

The current events lately have me feeling really down and helpless.  Politics.  Hurricane Matthew.  Hardship.  I took a long walk today and prayed and asked God to give me His desire, His heart and His gifts.  Today, He gave me Wonder. Not "wonder" as in, I wonder who will be president, or I wonder what I should do to end racism.  But.....Wonder.  The quiet smile, the look up to the sun and breathe deep, the bow my head in awe and gratitude kind of wonder. Years ago, we did some therapeutic work with Precious to connect better with her.  I can share with you the research and reference if you want, but the jist of it was play therapy that was deliberate and intentional.  Daily we were to play with her but give praise, not ask questions, talk through what she was leading in the play time and be playful and silly and positive with her.  It was harder than it seems.  It took practice.  It helped us to reconnect with her and it...

Here is Old Faithful, the guizer at Yellowstone National Park that erupts like clockwork several times a day.  Many tourists (including us) wait and wait for the smoke to billow up and we clap and cheer.....and then wander back to our families, our vacations, our regularity.  I'm feeling like Old Faithful a bit.  I was scrolling through facebook and saw pictures of a fashion show that took place in town last night.  It looked like a super fun event.....that I knew nothing about.  Nothing.  Our town is rather small so a fashion show should have been on my radar, even if I didn't plan to attend.  I had no idea.  My family functions better if I am home in the evening.  Several years ago, I stopped committing to evening activities so that I could be home and fix dinner, clean up, check homework or  whatever.  Being here when the kids go to bed makes bedtime work better.   I had a physical this month and the bloodwork shows it...

Yesterday we had a friend take some family photos for us.  We have not done an "official" one for several years.....so everyone got nice clothes on on Sunday afternoon and we went out for some smiles......gosh I love my family.  We are perfect.  We are flawed.  Even so.....we are family.  I have a storehouse of memories for each person in this picture....and then another storehouse for the collective ones we share.  I am blessed beyond measure.  Daily, we experience adversity.  Financial strain, work stress, school drama, behaviors, emotions, microwaves that break on Sunday afternoon......and dishwashers that leak on a Thursday.  We are family, flawed and fragile, but full of love every single day.  Love makes this family.  Some asked me if the child in the photo was an announcement for a next adoption.  Don't think I don't ask often to add to our family again and again.  I do and I think I probably always will, not bec...