He is Greater.....John 3:30 says He must become greater, I must become less"

It was lots of fun to post on the blog when we announced we were adopting, and to chronicle our adventure to Precious this way....and also to navigate the journey to Josiah via blog.  Blogging has been a way for me to record and remember the process and growth and miracle of adoption.  It is also where I record the hard things.....like losing Josiah's birth mom.....and not getting to adopt our little flower in India..... Today was a hard day as an adoptive family.  Precious woke up crabby and just negative and wrong.  Everything was wrong.  For no reason.  She was whining and flailing and fretting about as we tried to get dressed for the day and I said something like, "what is wrong?  you have a good life, hunny.  You have friends and family and food and a bedroom and toys and school.....why are you so unhappy?"......looking back, I guess I set her up.  I won't ask those questions again. She began to cry and say she missed birth mom. ...

"I keep my eyes always on the Lord, with him at my right hand, I will not be shaken." The times when I am shaken, I think that I don't have Him at my right hand.  Perhaps I moved.....or turned away....or lowered my gaze.  When the Lord is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.  I want to live like one who cannot be shaken, no matter what.  I'm not there yet.  I long to be.  Unshakable.  The longer I live under the shelter of His wings, and the more I am willing to say "yes" to his requests.....the braver I am to fix my eyes on Him and not the things of the world.....the closer I get to unshakable. Not if, but when I am unshakable.....the devil will not be able to rattle my cage so easily.   Adversity and difficulty will roll off my back.  Stress will not be an issue.  When I always, always, always know that He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.  I will be be strong.  Stronger than I am today. I keep my eyes alwa...

It just is this.  Today.  Every day.  He is so worthy.

Tomorrow I am speaking to a group of young moms.  The leadership has asked me to speak about "parenting right where you are".  goodness.  Half the time I want to freeze time so that these moments never end....and the other half of the time I am just yearning for whatever day is coming that allows for more rest and less intense parenting.  What could I possibly have to share with these women that is something they don't already know?  What could the Lord be wanting to share with them through my voice?  These are the questions rolling around inside of me tonight. Yesterday, parenting "right where you are" looked like this.  I intended to light the fire place and doze on the couch under a blanket on a Sunday afternoon, and then do some paperwork for my job, and then feast on a grilled burger and beans for dinner.  I brought something to Claire's room and she was standing in the middle of her disastrous bedroom, looking bewildered.  Mom, she said...

Today was a melancholy day.  Not bad, not great.  I chose self care today and did  not wallow in sorrow.  Josiah's birth mom is with Jesus. I just know it.  I'll see her in heaven one day.....and on the anniversary of her death, I mostly just want to remember her life and celebrate her legacy, which is her children.  She had 6 children and all are with loving families.... I worked just enough to pay for daycare, then went for a walk, cooked a meal for a friend, got a massage, cleaned Joe's bedroom.  I ate healthy food and I drank lots of water.  I sang praise songs in my kitchen in a quiet house.....I watched an eagle fly around above the road I was travelling on.  Self care. It's serendipity that I chose today to "fill my cup".  Tonight, Josiah spiked a temp and has a nasty cough.  Precious is complaining that it is blurry when she tries to read....so she probably needs an appointment with the eye doctor.  Her bio family ...

I do not want to know the mind of God.....or really, even the will of God.  I just don't.  It would be too hard.  What God deals with every day is just too much for me.  What I want......what I really, really want.....is a rock solid faith in the way of God.  I want to trust that no matter what, He's got it covered.  I know he does.  I do....but some days, that faith is so quiet, more like a whisper than a shout.  A mustard seed is small but some days I think my faith is smaller.  Tonight, I'm contending for not the world, not millions of dollars or a mansion....but maybe just the faith of a mustard seed.  Biblically, He promises that much. Last year, on this night, was the last night on earth for Josiah's birth mom.  I wonder what her last day, and last night involved.  It is a mystery. No one knows.  We talked frequently on the phone.....and last  year at this time, she had gotten some really hard news but in our...

I started a Sunday School class around the book The Connected Child.....Karen Purvis is an expert in the field of sensory problems and kids from hard places and how to parent better.  We studied her therapies (and use them) 2 years ago, but this is a good refresher for me.  It applies to all parenting, not just the hard kid in the house....One of the key concepts is to connect more than we correct.  Meaning, be present and attentive to my kids more than scolding and reprimanding them.  It's more work to parent this way but it also happens to be more fun!  well.  sometimes. Today, Precious started her "what are we gonna do today" mantra about 5 minutes after returning from church.  We hear this all day every day.....especially if we have a down weekend (which is rare).  Roger and I just wanted to relax at home and nap and read....and Precious was bouncing and whining and moving......she doesn't need to relax as much right now.  So. We went ...

I have a short, sweet (kinda like a hershey kiss) blog tonight over at katelynsfund.org tonight.  Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

It's cold and dark and dreary here now....but we know...that Spring is coming.  Winter lasts for a season...and then yields to spring.  Trees bloom, snow melts, the sun shines again!  The clouds rain down.....and the world turns green and lush again.  We put away the snow boots and snow pants and scarves..... I and a few other Kredits suffer from seasonal affective disorder.  That means we get really bummed out when winter lasts a long time...and we crave the sun and warmth and being outside.  We don't have the resources to go to a tropical oasis and sit on a beach for a week.  Man, oh man, I wish we did.  But.  We don't.  We just have to plow through it. We Kredits....we are made of hearty stuff.  We can persevere.  We can wait.  Soon we will see the trees in the yard begin to bloom, and the back yard will thaw.  Dad will pull back the cover from the pool and begin to clean it up.  The birds will come bac...

If you've been following, you may have read a former post about red glitter.  man.  That was a great insight....and motivation....and conviction.  Amen. Some days are not glitter days.  Some days are just.  Well.  Days. Tonight, the bathroom door was shut with no one inside.  That, my friends, is never good.  I started to open the door and Precious, quick as lightning, blocked the door.  "Mom.  um.  I should probably tell you something....."  oh boy.  It's been a hard day here with Precious today.....and even tho she played with a friend (and gave me a break, )she had been in the house maybe 4 1/2 minutes when the closed door issue occurred.  (simultaneously with an epic screaming match between her and Josiah because she tossed his whistle on top of the fridge.  In her defense.....I, too, was tired of the screaching whistle blowing).....everyone else was at Wal-Mart. I opened the bathroom door to find the ...

I'm a crazy proud mama today......and very tired.  We had a home swim meet today....the last for Isaac.  He swam this year to encourage Jeremiah to stick with it one more year and did a great job.  He didn't qualify for the championship tri-state or midwestern meet but he swam well, was respectful and present and encouraging to other kids.....and I got about 20 hugs from him today.  Jeremiah will move on to tri-state and likely midwestern meets before the season is done.  He is ready to "retire" from swim team but he has some strong swimming left inside of him yet this year.  I'm so, so proud of my boys!   Claire was chosen by her freshman class as the female representative for Homecoming court.....it was a huge honor to be chosen and in addition to dancing at half time of both games last night, they recognized the "royalty court" between games.  She was beautiful and composed and lovely.....one of the dances they did was called "coed" ...

I have a very quietly crazy and amazing life.  I really do.  I rally my troups every day and hurry them out the door to school and daycare and work.....gulp down one perfect cup of coffee.....and jump into my car.  My day at work typically involves meeting incredible women and children.  Day after day, the stories they tell me blow me away, make me cry, make me smile and make me stand in awe of how resilient the human spirit is.  The women I work with are so strong, and so hopeful and so willing......and I get to hold their babies and gush over how beautiful they are and how lucky they are to be with mamas who love them so much. I have also begun to walk a journey with birth moms......who love their babies so much and who ache for them.....and I get to hear their voices as they live through the process of allowing their babies to grow up in another family. And...... Because I visit teen mommies, and because I am a mommy, I work with young kids who are str...