He is Greater.....John 3:30 says He must become greater, I must become less"

This morning we sat down in church toward the front because we got there kinda late....and we need a big row.  My friend Pam sat down beside me.  We had a few moments to chat before the service began.  She said, "say.....you are plugged into the human trafficking stuff, right?"  Me:  "well....yeah....."  She then proceeded to tell me a story that had happened to her niece recently. To paraphrase, I will say that the niece went into a Walmart around 7pm alone and noticed someone looking at her strangely.  She heard the man say into his head set something like, "fresh meat...20-25"....and she went from department to department and the man followed her, talking into his headset.  She called her fiance who met her there and they left together.  There was another man outside and a running SUV near the entrance.  This young woman had taken some college classes in criminal behavior and was more alert to things not feeling right....but the fa...

Last weekend, we went to Claire's high school game on Friday night because it was Homecoming.  She was to dance 3 different routines throughout the night and we both wanted to be there.  After her last performance, I left to go to a women't retreat called COMPEL....that I wrote about earlier.  I got home from that late afternoon on Saturday and before I even hit my driveway, I went to the grocery store to get needed food staples for home.  I got home, we did dinner and family life.....Sunday morning Claire and I got up around 6am to drive through fog and ice to a nearby town (30 plus minutes away) for a morning of dancing at 3 different church.....then home for fast dinner and as much napping as possible......than a Sunday evening of catching my breath. Monday morning, I took Isaac to the chiro.  He's been having back pain and this doctor says that he has never seen this level of pain and crunched up spine and muscle in a kid so young.  Well.  Thank...

Isaiah 55:9;  "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."  The essence of this verse is ringing in my ears tonight.  I'm scrolling through facebook looking at all the darling pictures that other dance moms posted of their dancing teen and her smiling daddy.....and playing the videos from all their phones that show their dancing duo....but not mine.  Why don't I have my own?  Well.  I had a very over-tired 3 year old who was hanging on me, flopping on the floor, begging for food and pop and generally being miserable.....all night long.  Sadly, it never even occurred to me to break away and go find the dancers who were rehearsing.  What's wrong with me, anyway!  How did all the other dance moms get back there and I didn't notice?  Darn it. I didn't want to leave the game early because it was a close game with home town rivals/friends.....and our team was fighting h...

I owe her this post.  Precious Maryn.......I often share stories of how hard it is to be her mama, how much she struggles with anxiety, ADHD, sensory stuff.....not to mention the transracial stuff, and her really hard hair......but I need to say this tonight.  Not every day with Precious is hard.  Some days are.....wonderful.  Some days, being her mama makes me feel like the luckiest woman in the world.  Today is one of them.  Today, Precious woke up without a fit, and had her ADHD pill and her milk and her chips for breakfast.  I had to take Isaac to the chiro so dad got her on the bus.  After school, we went directly to the dentist for her first real check-up.  This sensory kid feels everything so, so much....but she did everything she was asked to do in the dentist chair from "scooting up" to choosing a flavor for her polish, to x-rays of her teeth, to flossing......and she never lost her composure.  She was so, so brave.  Once...

This weekend I attended the annual COMPEL conference, held in Sioux City, Iowa.  My friend Jen leads this and it is good every year.  My mom and I have been going for at least 6 or 7 years now.  Its Friday night through Saturday afternoon with a different speaker every year.  I wish I had my notes....they are out in the dining room and I'm in the bedroom at 9:11pm with Precious....she just settled in.  I'm not leaving. This year I missed the Friday night session because it was Homecoming at Claire's high school  She danced at half-time of both games and I wanted to be there so I left at 8:30pm to drive an hour to the game.  It was good that I did because after her first routine, she realized she was missing part of her costume/props for the next show.  Mom ran through the snow, tried not to speed from Orange City to Sioux Center, down the dark roads home to find the bag of lights she needed, and make it back in time..... Another dance mom and...

I have loved this song for months already, but today I loved it as if for the first time.  Today, I could really worship and connect with Jesus as I sang it out, as loud as I could.  I was driving and it was snowy and overcast and a bit melancholy......and I started singing this and worshipin the Creator God......and I felt His pleasure.  I even saw an Eagle in a tree along the road, as if to verify the Holiness of the moment.... I wish I could say it was one of many intimate moments I have had with the Father this week.  It was the first.  Kinda ironic that the song is called "First" don'tcha think?  Every day this week, I have felt a prick of guilty conscience that I started my day running, yelling, moving kids around....and not in quiet prayer and worship and scripture.  This is NOT my season to start days that way, I guess.  I long for it, to wake up and have coffee and prayer and open my bible and read and listen and receive God's lesson fo...

The pastor of my church ends every Sunday with the phrase, "Go be the church!".  He is retiring in April, and we have a search committee in place to find a new pastor.  I hope that I remember many of his messages and lessons because he has been a very significant "shepherd" to this flock.....but most of all, I want to remember the phrase "go be the church!". This morning, Roger and I were both awake at about 7am and our house was cold.....and the temp outside was -17.  We made a choice to skip church today and stay inside and let everyone sleep as long as possible.  Sneezes and stuffy noses and exhaustion have been pervasive in our home these past few days.  I had invited a college kid over for lunch.  He's a local college football player that we have kept tabs on for 3 years, and invited him to eat with us today so I wanted to pick up the house and make a nice meal.  I had agreed to watch my friend's 3 kiddos while she worked this afternoon.....

Guilt as defined by Wikipedia says this:  Guilt is a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person realizes or believes-accurately or not-that he or she has compromised his or her own standards of conduct or has violated a moral standard and bears significant responsibility for that violation  it is closely related to the concept of remorse. Today I am feeling guilt because I chose to stay home tonight with the little people and Isaac who isn't feeling well, and not going to support Claire's sophomore soup supper and watch her dance at half time.  I feel guilty for sending Jeremiah to a different ball game with another family and not taking him myself.  I feel guilty I choose to go to these events and either haul the little kids along and suffer under their misery, getting home too late, not taking care of the dogs..... Guilt is a beast. Yesterday I consoled a new mom who was feeling guilty about her situation and I told her that a healthy dos...

19 years ago, I was a newlywed.....working as a nurse at my hometown hospital.  Roger had an assignment to travel to The Netherlands for a job and would be gone for a month.  I was able to join him for 2 of the 4 weeks of his trip..... This trip defined us in lots of ways.  We learned that we love to travel, we love to try new foods.....Roger is very patient under pressure.....I love to relax.  We still own the souvenirs we purchased on that trip.....in fact.....just now....I lit a candle with a match stick from a box that I obtained from our hotel stay in Amsterdam....in 1997.....January, in fact.  I realize it is dysfunctional that I still have the box of match sticks from that trip.  We don't organize or deal with clutter very well here......mostly because we are living a busy and full life, not cuz we don't care. So I'm burning a candle lit with a match that I gleaned from a hotel in Amsterdam, Netherlands... 19 years ago.....lets just pause a mome...

Grace loves food.  Not all food, but Grace loves certain foods alot.  Lays potato chips with catsup.  Mint chip ice cream.  Coco puff cereal.   Coffee with 2 kinds of sweeteners.  She has an aversion to vegetables of any kind. I'm always on the hunt for Korean dishes we can make here because, well, I love with food.  I love when food makes people happy, and when they feel loved.  I love Grace and she is very easy to make happy..with food.  I found a recipe for kimchi stew and we made that last week and she was so, so happy. Saturday we went to Sam's Club and there was a bag of frozen food and it said it was the best dish in all of South Korea.  I bought it because it pleased me to bring it home for Grace.  It's basically noodles and black bean paste.....in 4 easy packets.....boil the noodles, heat the packet of paste and mix.  I showed it to her when we got home and she hugged me and told me she loved me......so Grace love...

I heard this phrase as I was in a quiet place of worship and listening this morning.  I think it was God, speaking to me in my spirit;  quietly, but firmly.  Resentment is unattractive.  I have been feeling, well, resentful, lately.  Resentful of women who get to stay home and care for their children and household, and not go to work....resentful of women who are thin and fit.....resentful of families with less financial hardship.....resentful of so many things..... I understand thankfulness, and I strive for it.  Resentment is so much easier....and lately I have slipped down the easier slope.  Resentful that Claire cannot join a team praying against human trafficking next month, because I didn't know how to register her in time.....resentful that I feel like a bad parent most of the time.....resentful that my job seems impossible lots of days..... Blah blah blah blah blah.......blah.........blah. I think that today, the Lord had had enough. ...

The 2015 holiday is done.  Tonight, we all end the day looking to tomorrow's return to school, to work, to routine......January brings resolutions, fresh enthusiasm, a new year laid out before us.  Grace allows us to look forward.   Last week, I worked a full week between Christmas and New years.  I didn't have the week off to lounge in my jammies or meet friends for coffee every day.  I had to find stuff for my kids to do, and address the tyranny of the urgent at work, and do life.  Grace looks back, and speaks up.  Grace... Life blesses me. We had a big snowstorm last week and the next days I did visits around the county and as I drove every day, I noticed the beauty all around me.  Ice and snow lying heavy on the trees and in the fields.  Hawks and blackbirds scavenging.....pristine and untouched scenery everywhere I looked.  My eyes were drawn to the trees, standing naked in the cold.  In January, in Iowa, the trees are sl...

Welcome to 2016!  Hope you like the fresh face on my blog.  I do!  As you may notice, I declared a 2016 verse.  I didn't put much thought into it, actually.  Everyone should find one, I think, if you believe in the power of the bible as God's Word.  My process was to flip to January 1 on my little daily devo flip thing......I bought it for myself instead of a bunch of stocking stuff.  January 1 was entitled, "LOVE" with The Message's version of Romans 12:9......"Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it." I really love this version of Romans 12:9.  Love from the center of who you are.  For me, that means loving from my passion, my glass-half-full, my brokenness, my sinfulness even.  Loving from the center of who I am sometimes requires an apology later......or a humble and contrite spirit,confessed to God.  Loving from the center of who I am means understanding who I am.  And I do.  There is a challenge here, t...