He is Greater.....John 3:30 says He must become greater, I must become less"

 I have a personal challenge going and I feel compelled to expand on it a bit since I am just over halfway through it.  It involved 14 days straight of being purposeful and intentional and doing something fun with my 3 younger kiddos. That may seem whimsical and carefree, if not a bit crazy, but let me explain.  In the weeks leading up to Christmas break, I was in a state of fear and dread.  How would I keep them happy and entertained?  No one was available to provide child care.   I needed to get at least the minimum amount of work done for my job, so I needed distraction and contentment here at home since I am still working from home due to Covid.  None of the 3 of them are good at finding creative ways to play like my older 3 kids could do at the same age.....and at some point in the fear and dread I came up with an idea.  Rather than survive and tolerate the 14 days of Christmas break, why not celebrate it? The 3 older kids are all workin...

 I'm sitting here in the sunset of a  profoundly ordinary and extrordinary day.  They can be like that, can't they?  So methodical and trying and mundane....and yet also so unbelievably wonderful.  That is what today is.  Actually, it's what every day is....but today I am finding some words to write about it.  Some days I don't.  I'm asking Father God, just now, to help me find the words to tell about today.   The plan for today was to have extra kredit go on a longer visit....and I had high hopes of getting some time-sensitive work done because even though we are on Christmas break, I have a job.(  and no daycare.)  A storm rolled in that turned into a blizzard and canceled his visit completely....and changed my plans abruptly.  I wanted to be frustrated about my plans changing but instead my heart broke again because this little friend has endured more disappointment than most have over the course of their life...and he ...

 You know that place we  get to about mid-December?  It's a place where we make lists and try not to forget the mundane things of the week as we look ahead to Holiday celebrations for Christmas and plans for feasts and parties, or if we are distancing due to COVID we are working on alternative plans that feel special and wonderful for the 2020 Christmas season.  The decorations are up, we are eating chocolate covered cherries and drinking egg nog....the Christmastime is here!   We are doing a mix of both planning and pivoting and adjusting with our Christmas planning.  There is a Christmas day menu being discussed and presents are progressively appearing around the Christmas tree.  The lists are in full swing.....and maybe you want to hear about how we are having to daily discuss what we can and cannot do for Claire's upcoming wedding January 2, and maybe you want to hear about the tears we have cried and the hope we have reached for and the truth...

 November is a month to celebrate many things.  It is national adoption/foster care month.  It is Josiah's birthday month.  It is my mom's birthday month.  It is Election month and Veteran's Day month....and it is Thanksgiving.   Josiah had a birthday yesterday.  He's 8.  He cried the night before his birthday because he couldn't share his birthday with his birth mom....and he missed knowing her and being able to talk to her and share things about his life with her.  I told him he had a big empty hole in his heart where she should have filled but because she couldn't fill it He should ask Jesus to fill that part up, too.  He said that made sense.  I think it does, too.  Adoption is a hard thing.  The joy we felt when we knew we could add him to our family was balanced by deep sorrow for his birth mom because she couldn't keep him in hers.  She gratefully and willingly turned the job of parenting him over to us......

 I have some thoughts to write out....and obviously share.  I am praying as I start to type that God will till the soil and spread the seed on fertile ground.  If not, I'll get some nasty comments that I will delete.  Disclaimer delivered.  Yesterday most of the country voted for our president and senators, etc.  In fact, I think its pretty cool how many people voted and how much this election means to Americans.  Thanks be to God for the patriotism demonstrated in Election 2020.  This has been a hard year and we are all desperate for something to cling to, to hang our hat on and to use our energy to cultivate.   I was driving Josiah, age 7, to tumbling and asked who he would vote for if he could vote.  He said he would vote for Trump because if he voted for Biden then Biden would make people wear masks, even when they were in bed sleeping.....that is not intel he heard at home, trust me.  Still.  He was choosing to vote f...

 This morning I was starting my day in a quiet, contemplative, prayerful way.  Those are my favorites.  I was considering my parents-in-law who are planning to pack up and drive to Arizona again for the winter.  They came on Sunday to see us because when the leave for Arizona they are gone for about 6 months.  We worry about them when they are in the midwest and we worry about them when they are travelling and we worry about them when they are down south because we love them so much.  Also, we worry because they are 88 and 89 years old......so there's that.  This morning I felt compelled to send a prayer to the sisters as we all are wanting their trip south to go well, and because we worry....and in the writing of the prayer to them, I heard in my heart the words to a very old song.....by Steve Green....called People Need the Lord.   We just really, really do.   We need the Lord.  The words talk about hurting people, lost peopl...

 I'm writing today so I won't forget a lesson I learned last night from our extra kredit.  Sharing it with friends who still read the blog is simply an added bonus so I hope it serves to bless and convict others as it did me.  Recently, it has been a struggle for me as a mom, here.  I've been frustrated and impatient and less than awesome.  Far, far, far less in fact.  I wake up most mornings and ask God for fresh manna for the day, for more patience and wisdom and grace and joy......and to be honest I dread getting up because the demands of the day will start and they will continue to be demanding with very few breaks until everyone is settled in bed again, and then the guilt of everything I did wrong, my potty mouth, my short fuse all come crashing down on my head again as I try to finish the day.  Mom-ing is just freaking hard work.  And, let's be honest, I signed up for the intense version of momming......longer than many women need to endure....