He is Greater.....John 3:30 says He must become greater, I must become less"

This morning Isaac and I were assigned to be the helpers for the 3/4 year old program at church.  The kids and I are on rotations for different kids activities at church so we have to watch the announcements to know when it is our turn.  After the worship and greeting time, Isaac and I left for "children in worship" which is the class Josiah does during morning church. 24 little kids came into the class and found spots on the carpet squares.  The teacher (God bless her!) did the greeting, the prayer, the singing and the story......and the story was about  Moses leading his people through the desert, the parting of the river and the Israelites passing through the parted waters to the promised land.  the pre-schoolers listened and were really attentive.  They each got a turn to move the people through the parted river to the other side.....and then they did snacks and free play time until their parents came to collect them. Two things. 1.  Josiah w...

Beside me is a sweet little guy, my youngest son.  He has very soft, sweet, squeezable feet.  I love it when the day is done and he is in his jammies snuggled in beside me.  His socks come off and I can hold those soft little feet for a few moments.  they don't stay soft and sweet for long. A few blinks ago, another little guy sat beside me on this couch at night.  He also had very soft and sweet feet that I could hold in my hand and sqeeze and stroke and adore.  Today, that boy put on dressy clothes and I drove him to a fast food restaurant in town and he interviewed for his first job.  He was nervous.  I was......given pause.  The "interview" only took 15 minutes and if he decides he is serious about working, he has a spot at this place.  The manager asked what he would do with the money he earned.  I think that's super cool.  It makes me smile because she is someone I went to school with long, long ago.  She is good ...

Gosh I love this kid.  I don't have such good photos of him here.....but this is what I have tonight.  If Roger was not in Texas, he could help me find better, more current ones.  If my friend Jen was not in Mexico, she could help me post the really awesome photos she took a few weeks ago.  Here is a summation of me as a mom:  I have good words to write.  I don't have the technical skills to add a really awesome and inspiring photo.  That's me.  Half-baked.  Reaching for it but not quite getting there.  I am defining it because I happen to know that many of you out there who read this blog are just like me.  Feel better about yourselves tonight.  This one's for you.   So here is Jeremiah being his sweet and silly self.  This kid is my heart.  He is sweet.  He is kind.  He is 12 and in the 7th grade at school.  He is always willing to help me, to fix things, to be a blessing.  He is the ...

Tonight we had to put the pieces of Precious back together so that she could go to sleep.  She went from a school day to day care for a couple hours to mid-week church and she kept it together all day.  From the moment the door closed though, she was falling apart piece by piece. After a very long work day for both Roger and I, we didn't have the emotional arsenal for mid-week meltdown.....but here it was.  Roger worked with her for awhile but nothing soothed her.  She was distraught, emotional, angry.  I sent him out to the hot tub with Josiah who was jumping around like a crazy guy and driving everyone nuts. I dragged Precious off the floor to the dining room.  I warmed up a heated bean bag that fits warmly around the neck and shoulders.  I wrapped her up in a fluffy blanket.  I held her close.  She was weeping and wailing, over school papers.  Timed math facts.  Some hideous exercise whereby the child has to do as many probl...

4am:  "mom...."  "What, Precious..."  "I was sleeping so hard and I peed the bed."   expletive.  expletive.  double expletive.  cry out to Jesus.  and some more cussing.....so I got her cleaned up and changed and as she walked to the couch to finish her sleep she said.  "oh oh.  look.  the dogs got in the garbage".  sure enough.  remains from the past 2 days of food consumption for the family......all over the dining room.  so there I was on my hands and knees cleaning up empty containers and wrappers, wondering what our schnoodle would do to digest Guatemalan tortillas....and guacamole.....and leftover chinese......ugh. Because I was not being gentle or quiet, Josiah woke up too.  Oh goody, goody.  So get him to the bathroom and tucked into bed again....and he wants me to lay with him because he is three years old and it is 4 am.....so as I am trying to fall back asleep I wonder.....what in the world is ...

The current events lately have me feeling really down and helpless.  Politics.  Hurricane Matthew.  Hardship.  I took a long walk today and prayed and asked God to give me His desire, His heart and His gifts.  Today, He gave me Wonder. Not "wonder" as in, I wonder who will be president, or I wonder what I should do to end racism.  But.....Wonder.  The quiet smile, the look up to the sun and breathe deep, the bow my head in awe and gratitude kind of wonder. Years ago, we did some therapeutic work with Precious to connect better with her.  I can share with you the research and reference if you want, but the jist of it was play therapy that was deliberate and intentional.  Daily we were to play with her but give praise, not ask questions, talk through what she was leading in the play time and be playful and silly and positive with her.  It was harder than it seems.  It took practice.  It helped us to reconnect with her and it...

Here is Old Faithful, the guizer at Yellowstone National Park that erupts like clockwork several times a day.  Many tourists (including us) wait and wait for the smoke to billow up and we clap and cheer.....and then wander back to our families, our vacations, our regularity.  I'm feeling like Old Faithful a bit.  I was scrolling through facebook and saw pictures of a fashion show that took place in town last night.  It looked like a super fun event.....that I knew nothing about.  Nothing.  Our town is rather small so a fashion show should have been on my radar, even if I didn't plan to attend.  I had no idea.  My family functions better if I am home in the evening.  Several years ago, I stopped committing to evening activities so that I could be home and fix dinner, clean up, check homework or  whatever.  Being here when the kids go to bed makes bedtime work better.   I had a physical this month and the bloodwork shows it...

Yesterday we had a friend take some family photos for us.  We have not done an "official" one for several years.....so everyone got nice clothes on on Sunday afternoon and we went out for some smiles......gosh I love my family.  We are perfect.  We are flawed.  Even so.....we are family.  I have a storehouse of memories for each person in this picture....and then another storehouse for the collective ones we share.  I am blessed beyond measure.  Daily, we experience adversity.  Financial strain, work stress, school drama, behaviors, emotions, microwaves that break on Sunday afternoon......and dishwashers that leak on a Thursday.  We are family, flawed and fragile, but full of love every single day.  Love makes this family.  Some asked me if the child in the photo was an announcement for a next adoption.  Don't think I don't ask often to add to our family again and again.  I do and I think I probably always will, not bec...