He is Greater.....John 3:30 says He must become greater, I must become less"

As of today, we have completed Josiah's preschool graduation a week ago, which made me cry like a baby.....and Jeremiah's 8th grade graduation this week Wednesday, which made me cry a little bit, and Claire's high school graduation which made me cry the least.  My heart is so full of joy and humble gratitude that I get to be the mom who does life with these 5 kids.  All of their successes and failures and struggles and victories and milestones and hiccups are written like a song in my heart.  Things like graduations get attention and pictures and even gifts from friends and family..... We put time and focus and money and effort into making sure Claire's graduation party was great and it was so so great.  We didn't put much time into Jeremiah's other than insisting that everyone be present for it, including Isaac who missed a baseball game to attend.  We went to my moms and had cupcakes and drinks and visited for a bit and then took him to his after hours part...

Happy Mother's Day!  It has been a happy day here for me, except that my husband is away on a business trip.  Other than that my 5 sweet children have been here with me and I am enjoying their presence and their love.  A couple of months ago, some of you wrote to me.  I asked  you to share what it means to be a good mother.  The comments that came in are wonderful and true.  My mother's day gift to all of you who read my ramblings is to share them with you all in one place.  What Makes A Good Mama?     Be attentive.  Admit when you are wrong and ask for grace and forgiveness.  Be patient.  Show steadfast love.  Be solid.  Be someone your children can turn to.  Be full of grace.  Show unconditional love.  Be present.  Be self-denying.  Be warm.  (gosh I love this one....for so many reasons.  mid-life flashes included, as well as just being the kind of w...

Birth mom day.  Some of us in adoption world recognize the Saturday before Mother's Day as birth mom day.  We create little rituals that help keep memories alive and honor  birth moms.  With Precious and Josiah, I try to make sure we are talking about birth moms as often as they want to.  The Saturday before Mother's Day we plant a flower in their honor.  As the kids get older, this ritual is getting harder.  It brings up sadness for the kids and sometimes they say they miss their birth mom (even if they don't have actual memories of her) and they do.  I know they do.  They miss the idea that their mom is their only mom.  They miss knowing the mom who created them and gave them life.  They resent me because I am the mom they have now and not their original mom.  (side note....please don't call birth moms "real moms" because what does that make adoptive moms?  fake?  I'm about as real as it gets folks.) Thi...

Mother's Day is one of my favorite holidays.  I say that knowing that for many women, it is their hardest day of the year.  I am hoping to write a few different times over the next days about my thoughts on mothers and how and why to celebrate them.  I can write these thoughts and still respect and honor the hearts of women who are suffering and just trying to endure Mother's Day.  I have grave and deep sympathy for you.  I will pray for all of you, that the heart of God will wash over you with love and peace and a sense of His Faithfulness in the middle of your struggle and heartache.  I will pray.  I promise.  I believe that others will pray as well.  If you have lost a child, if you have not been able to conceive, if you have lost a mother.......I am feeling your hurt as you do Mother's Day.  If you are waiting for a child either through birth or adoption and the wait is long and your heart is weary.....I will pray.  Plea...

This morning I got up at 5:15 and drove across town to my second work-out of the "6 Week Shred"  fitness challenge I signed up for.  Week one, workout number 2.  I have a collection of t-shirts that I have ordered from various adoption and mission trip fund-raisers.  Many have bible verses on them, and other positive thoughts.  Today's shirt was a soft burgundy t-shirt with the words Choose Joy across the front.  I bought that one because his mama was raising fund for an epic surgery her little guy needed and there would be many outside costs for several months.  When I wear that shirt I think of my little buddy Elijah and how God was so faithful to him in his surgery, and to his mother through the fund-raiser.  It makes me smile.  In class this morning at about 6:05 am, we were taking a short breather and another woman said to me, "I think that is a very appropriate shirt for us this morning"  I totally agreed.  We all needed to...

Most of the time I really love Mondays.  I love the fresh start to a new week.  I flip the page in my planner and see a blank space, ready for the filling up of activities, events and work.  Most of the time I can lovingly kick all the bodies out of my home by 8am on Monday and send them off to work, school and daycare.  I can tidy up a bit from the weekend of living here.  I can have coffee in solitude.  I can not speak to anyone for an hour or two and just reset all of my buttons of self-regulation.  I can read my bible and meditate on the scripture from the sermon in church yesterday....I can pray and ask the Lord for all that is needed for the week ahead.  This Monday was not like most Mondays.  Since I have not yet created a "Monday survivors support group"....I guess I'll just vent a blog.  Barf some thoughts.  Bleed out some sarcasm and disconnected feelings.  (I think you get the point.) Today was rough.  I we...